Wednesday, May 30, 2012

A Bunch of Dangly Bits

We had a big scare last night. Lucy got a beef skewer on one of those wooden sticks and gulped it down. I took her to the emergency vet and they did an endoscopy and removed the stick before it could cause any damage. She's still at the hospital, but hopefully I'll be picking her up later this morning. :^(

I had an entire Ranty McRantmeister post written for today, but I'm not in the mood. Maybe later. In the meantime, here are some reading updates and other bits o' news.....

1. Piglet or Dog?

My dog breeder keeps sending me photos and my daughter is begging me to get this puppy. It's a piebald long-haired miniature doxie that looks like a pig. I want to name her "Wilbur" but Natty doesn't like that one. #pigletdogs4evah

2. On my reading list for this week.....Julia Quinn's A Night Like This, Marley Gibson's Radiate, and an ARC from Annette Blair...Cloaked In Malice. Believe it or not, the blurb for Quinn's book mentions...wait for it....a unicorn! #unicornsforthewin

3. There was a disturbance in the force this weekend. Mary Balogh, author of incredibly beautiful and romantic historical stories, posted on her Facebook page that she loved 50 Shades. #wheresmylightsaber

4. Mr. Tom Andrews wrote a hilarious piece of flash fiction titled "Bile, and more Bile" which has ME as the star. Yes, that's correct. Me and my "rambunctious curls" and a weenie dog, lots and lots of bile, and even a hobo. It's delightful! #bileismyfriend

5. I visited an author website recently that had tons of lovely book covers displayed, but not ONE purchase link in site. All the book covers in the world are worthless unless you have A PURCHASE LINK! And for the tweeter who asked me "How do I do that please?"---here's my answer. If you post the jpeg for the book, add a link with the image and attach the URL for Amazon or wherever you want customers to buy your book. Or, just put the book's title on your book page and add a link with the purchase URL. DON'T FORGET, CHICKIES! #purchaselinksordie

6. My favorite EC cover for the week is....

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Haaaaaaaaa! Oh my God, this is hilarious. And for the first time in history, I hate a beard. Go figure. #ahoymateys

7. My ranty post has to do with unscrupulous "social media specialists" and indie authors who are trying to game the system. I still haven't decided if I will post this, but in the meantime, here's some advice for writers.....If someone tells you the RIGHT way to self-promote is to spam folks, get shills to write fake reviews for you, down-vote real reader's reviews if they are 1 or 2-stars, offer fake 5-star reviews for your friends if they reciprocate, put fake tags on your books to increase your rank in the search engine, and generally be an incredible nuisance on Twitter/Facebook/all social media, you might want to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Because frankly, that advice is King Of Suckage. I'm picturing a used car salesman in polyester wearing a boat-load of bad cologne. Integrity counts, people. Cheating, lying and sneaking your way to the bestseller list ain't gonna work. #sleazytown

8. I would just like to thank my good friend Victoria Morgan for introducing me to the excellence that is Burlesque. Christina Aguilera, hoochie hoochie dances, Cher, and Stanley Tucci. LOVE it! Not only did Christina sound like a million bucks, she looked like a million bucks. She needs to hire her stylist from that movie for every day of her life. #chickflickexcellence




Ella Drake said...

Aww. Poor Lucy. I hope she's her normal self in no time.

About the social media "experts", fake reviews and the like, how can people not know it's completely unethical? And some of it, against the spirit of the law, or actually blatantly illegal. Even if the FTC doesn't come down on someone for posting false reviews, it's wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. No matter how you look at it. And if the idea of not getting caught makes it "okay", maybe the FTC will decide to crack down and set an example.


KT Grant said...

Hope Lucy is doing better. The doxie pig pup is toooo cute! Awwww.

Pirate cover for the WTFckery!

Kaetrin said...

Hope Lucy makes a swift and full recovery. What a scare for you!

As for that cover... Is he a centaur? Cause he looks kinda like a centaur to me. Very Narnia - in a totally NSFW way! :)

Kaetrin said...

Eep!! Stupid iPad.. Sorry for the multiple posts. *going away now*

Penny Watson said...

Ella...I wonder that too. It seems pretty clear to me that it's unethical, but I think a lot of these newbies think those practices are par-for-the-course and don't realize that they're being sleaze-balls. I know damned well the "promo specialists" know it's wrong, but what do they care, they're getting $$.

Ugh is right.


Penny Watson said...

KB----Ha! I knew you would like that cover. EC has outdone themselves this time!

Penny Watson said...

Hi Kaetrin....I read the book blurb and I don't think he's a centaur. Just a regular old pirate with a hideous pointy beard.


Darlene Marshall said...

Poor Lucy! If only our doxies' brains worked as well as their noses! I hope she comes home soon. The "piglet" does look adorable. Puppies (and children) are sneaky that way.

Good advice re: social media "experts", but I always worry that the people who need to read these posts aren't. Instead they're listening to people who support their "I can get rich, it's easy!" POV.

Julia Barrett said...

You and Lucy have been busy! And she doesn't have much room to swallow a pointy stick! Wow. Glad she'll be all right.
And yes, you are so write about hucksters. Good ranty McRant.
ICAM about the #where'smylightsaber
OMG! That book makes me want to run screaming from virtual discussions.
Have a better day today. Love to Lucy.

Anonymous said...

Aw, poor Lucy. Get well soon, Lucy!

Um, is the lady on that book cover dead?

I wouldn't mind seeing your full ranty rant. Maybe it encourage readers to speak up how THEY feel about it.

(get the piglet, get the piglet, you need the piglet, get the piglet...)

Penny Watson said...

Hi Darlene! Lucy is home....looking a bit straggly but otherwise OK.

Yes, that's one of the problems w/ the "bad" advice...newbs get more focused on the $$ and their sales rank at Amazon than on their writing. You're not going to get rich quick if your writing isn't up to snuff. Eventually, they will figure that out...the hard way.

Penny Watson said...

Hi Julia! I want to start my own book cover business. With mismatched legs, heads and bodies. Heeee!

Penny Watson said...

Jaye....I think I'll post the full rant tomorrow. What the hell.

After this craziness w/ Lucy, I'm not sure I'm ready for Wilbur yet. But Natty is still working on me.

Tales of Whimsy said...

What a super cute puppy!

She looks like a Charlotte to me.
Or maybe Babe?

Penny Watson said...

Juju...I like Babe! Good idea! And I like Charlotte, too. ;^)

Unknown said...

Poor Luce, Hope she excapes the vets ok!

A disliked bears, and they say that 2012 is not going to herald the end of the world, are they entirely sure?

Stanley Tucci - I demand BRING BACK 3lbs NOW


Unknown said...

silly me

A disliked beard it should have said

Silly boy!

Penny Watson said...

Hi Tom! I know....the End of the World must be near! Hee heee! Well, I am pretty forgiving with beards, but this Just no.


anny cook said...

Best wishes to more pointy sticks!

As for the review/tags/rankings/etc./etc./etc, it's not life and death stuff, folks. The fastest way to turn off a potential reader is to cram your book down their throat. How's that for a visual?

Penny Watson said...

Hi Anny....that's a good visual. And totally true. Stop by tomorrow...I'm posting my full Ranty McRantmeister.

Lemon Verbena Lady said...

Glad Lucy is without the skewer tonight! They would look tempting to a weenie dog! I'm going to quietly go away without commenting about the book cover or the movie! I will only say that it was a big waste of Stanley Tucci who I love. He was much better in The Devil Wears Prada and even Julie and Julia. xxoo Nancy

Lindsay said...

Happy to hear that Lucy will be okay and is home safe now. Those emergency vet trips can be frightening!

When talking about Burlesque you somehow forgot to mention the fantastic Alan Cumming. That man is a riot and he is half of why I decided to watch the show to begin with. Somehow I loved and hated that movie all at once, I think it was the boyfriend...

Penny Watson said...

Hi Nancy...I also loved Stanley in the movie Julie and Julia. But I must say he looked extremely yummy in Burlesque! I like crap chick-flicks....what can I say! Hee hee!

Penny Watson said...

Lindsay....I agree. In fact, as we were watching the film, I said "Alan Cumming is underutilized in this movie. They need WAY more scenes with him."

Lindsay said...

Wait for my next blog...if you haven't seen the clip before, you'll LOVE it!

Penny Watson said...

Lindsay...looking forward to it!