Wednesday, May 30, 2012

A Bunch of Dangly Bits

We had a big scare last night. Lucy got a beef skewer on one of those wooden sticks and gulped it down. I took her to the emergency vet and they did an endoscopy and removed the stick before it could cause any damage. She's still at the hospital, but hopefully I'll be picking her up later this morning. :^(

I had an entire Ranty McRantmeister post written for today, but I'm not in the mood. Maybe later. In the meantime, here are some reading updates and other bits o' news.....

1. Piglet or Dog?

My dog breeder keeps sending me photos and my daughter is begging me to get this puppy. It's a piebald long-haired miniature doxie that looks like a pig. I want to name her "Wilbur" but Natty doesn't like that one. #pigletdogs4evah

2. On my reading list for this week.....Julia Quinn's A Night Like This, Marley Gibson's Radiate, and an ARC from Annette Blair...Cloaked In Malice. Believe it or not, the blurb for Quinn's book mentions...wait for it....a unicorn! #unicornsforthewin

3. There was a disturbance in the force this weekend. Mary Balogh, author of incredibly beautiful and romantic historical stories, posted on her Facebook page that she loved 50 Shades. #wheresmylightsaber

4. Mr. Tom Andrews wrote a hilarious piece of flash fiction titled "Bile, and more Bile" which has ME as the star. Yes, that's correct. Me and my "rambunctious curls" and a weenie dog, lots and lots of bile, and even a hobo. It's delightful! #bileismyfriend

5. I visited an author website recently that had tons of lovely book covers displayed, but not ONE purchase link in site. All the book covers in the world are worthless unless you have A PURCHASE LINK! And for the tweeter who asked me "How do I do that please?"---here's my answer. If you post the jpeg for the book, add a link with the image and attach the URL for Amazon or wherever you want customers to buy your book. Or, just put the book's title on your book page and add a link with the purchase URL. DON'T FORGET, CHICKIES! #purchaselinksordie

6. My favorite EC cover for the week is....

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Haaaaaaaaa! Oh my God, this is hilarious. And for the first time in history, I hate a beard. Go figure. #ahoymateys

7. My ranty post has to do with unscrupulous "social media specialists" and indie authors who are trying to game the system. I still haven't decided if I will post this, but in the meantime, here's some advice for writers.....If someone tells you the RIGHT way to self-promote is to spam folks, get shills to write fake reviews for you, down-vote real reader's reviews if they are 1 or 2-stars, offer fake 5-star reviews for your friends if they reciprocate, put fake tags on your books to increase your rank in the search engine, and generally be an incredible nuisance on Twitter/Facebook/all social media, you might want to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Because frankly, that advice is King Of Suckage. I'm picturing a used car salesman in polyester wearing a boat-load of bad cologne. Integrity counts, people. Cheating, lying and sneaking your way to the bestseller list ain't gonna work. #sleazytown

8. I would just like to thank my good friend Victoria Morgan for introducing me to the excellence that is Burlesque. Christina Aguilera, hoochie hoochie dances, Cher, and Stanley Tucci. LOVE it! Not only did Christina sound like a million bucks, she looked like a million bucks. She needs to hire her stylist from that movie for every day of her life. #chickflickexcellence