Tuesday, May 1, 2012

And The Winner Is.....

From the 2012 NECRWA Conference......

1. Nicest Person In The World Award goes to Lena Goldfinch. Lena (A) has the patience of a saint, (B) is the Zen Master of Disaster, and (C) has a totally cool last name.

2. What Have You Done For Me Lately Award goes to Bobbi Ruggerio. Who starts doing that sassy head-shaking thing like Queen Latifah when she's pissed off. (note to self: don't piss off Bobbi Baby) Alternative award: Minion With The Mostest

3. Best Tiara Award goes to Myretta Robens. As much as it pains me to admit this (and it hurts, believe me), Myretta's tiara kicked my tiara's ass. It was beyond cool--a funky steampunky Etsy creation that was totally amazing. (*Penny wipes tear from her eye and decides therapy may be required to deal with tiara envy*) Myretta also wins Most Gracious Award and just happened to win the Goldrick Award, too.

4. Best I See Dead People Award goes to my roomie, Julia Barrett. Who needs psychic readings and ghost hunting when your roomie is buds with Casper The Friendly Ghost? On Friday morning when I woke up, Julia casually mentioned that we'd had a "visitor" the night before. (I, of course, slept through the whole thing). The little girl asked Julia what we did, and when she answered romance writers, the girl replied "You should write children's books." Julia pointed at me and said "She does." And then the little ghostly girl left our room. When we badgered the folks at the front desk about ghost sightings, they were reluctant to discuss it. I finally said, "If someone happened to say they saw a ghost, what would it be?" And the desk clerk answered, "Well, some folks have seen a little girl." Julia shot me a smug smile, and I thought "Thank God I'm writing a weenie dog super-hero children's book. That just saved my ass from the Ghost Of Hawthorne!"

5. Best Secret Tiara Judge goes to Annette Blair. (I got Most Regal Tiara!) Ha!

6. Tastiest Cocktail Award goes to Whips and Kicks. A mixture of Pinnacle whipped vodka, club soda and cranberry, this romance specialty cocktail wins! (In the matter of full disclosure, it was the only cocktail I drank. Four of them. And it was delish.)

7. Penny's Biggest Fan Girl Moment goes to....Ridley. Sure, I met some big name authors and some VIPs. But my biggest fan-girl moment was meeting Ridley, Force of Internet Nature, in person at the book fair. I thought she would look like this....

(Interesting how Ripley and Ridley are so very close in spelling, eh?) Well, she is actually adorable with cute color streaks in her hair. Cute! I wish I'd had more time to talk, but I got busy buying zombie dolls, and when I turned around, the entire room was empty. D'oh!

8. Speaking of zombie dolls.....Most Brilliant New Doll Concept goes to Marley Gibson and Patrick Burns, Ghosthunters. These dolls were selling like hot cakes!

They're called DabNabIt Dolls, and they come with their own death certificate. My daughter said she wants to start collecting tons of them. (Marley and Patrick just got big shit-eating grins on their faces while reading this).

9. Best Beard Award is a tie. Meg Maguire's hubby exhibited some excellent beardy goodness, but Lee the bartender gave him a run for the money. (And a blush for me...hee hee!)

10. Favorite Book Premise and Awesome Title Award goes to Salad on the Side by Karenna Colcroft. It's about a gay vegetarian werewolf! Ha!

11. Best Game Face Award goes to the three little old ladies who stopped by my table at book fair. Sam Wayland--Quirky Lady and writer of naughty menage stories--and I shared a table. Three little old ladies wearing cardigan sweaters stopped by to peruse our table of goodies. Bless their hearts, they continued smiling and nodding their heads as they looked at our book covers (liberally decorated with naked naughty people) and continued on their way. (Imagined conversation later....Mildred, why do you think there were three people on the cover of that book? Well, Iris, I think that was the one gentleman's brother, who was probably there for moral support.)

12. You Talkin' To Me? Award goes to Dena de Paulo. A Beanpot winner came up to me at the cocktail party and started blushing---blushing!--as she gushed on and on about how much she loved my books. And I thought....are you talking to me? I have a fan! I have a fan! And I don't even think I need to take out a restraining order or anything! Also, I'm looking forward to reading Dena's books....she is clearly a very talented, award-winning writer. With super excellent taste.

13. Fastest Author To Sell All Her Books At Book Fair Using Unfair Tactics Involving Free Candy And Price-Slashing goes to.....Penny Watson! I decorated my book fair table with a tacky tinsel Christmas tree from Target, candy canes, holiday stickers, and green and red confetti. I also yelled "Merry Christmas!" as customers walked by. And I sold all my books! Moral of this story...it pays to be weird. Word.

14. Song of the Conference goes to.....Madonna and JT. I couldn't stop singing 4 Minutes while lining folks up for their editor/agent appointments. (And doing cabbage patch moves, too).

15. Best Felted Flower Collection goes to Heather Laskowski. She also gets honorable mentions for Cussing In Front Of Michael Hauge and Drill Sergeant Extraordinaire for E/A appointments.

As you can see, conference was a sordid affair. I got to meet Amber Skyze and Lindsay Kiernan in person! I got to see Kwana Jackson. I had a great time with all the Quirky Ladies, and it was wonderful to chat with so many members of the New England chapter and many other chapters from around the country. Also, there were book contracts to celebrate, and requests for fulls and partials....lots of good news to go around. Yippee!

And now, I'll be sleeping for about 379 days.