The Bonus Round

As I was walking into my son's middle school on Tuesday, about to partake of the dreaded "curriculum night"---forced to endure boring lectures by school administrators, bumble around trying to find Room 205, and experience unwanted algebra flashbacks---I got hit with a thought. (That happens to me sometimes). I didn't feel sorry for myself. I didn't mind that I had 2 and 1/2 hours of boredom ahead of me. What I thought was....

This is all good. I'm alive. It's the "Bonus Round."

And I realized, as I walked behind a mom with low-rider jeans meant for a 13 year old girl, that this is the new way I view my life. 

Everything after my heart attack is The Bonus Round. I could have died, but I didn't. So even boring, mundane, irritating, exasperating, horrifying, difficult, emotional, and painful experiences are all good. Because I'm still here. I can't get too worked up about the bus always being late, glitter all over the house, and the dog peeing on my pillow. Because my daughter has fun on the bus, my house sparkles like a Britney Spear's costume, and I can switch pillows with my hubby and he'll never know. Stuff that used to bum me out is now viewed with more humor and good grace.

I'm not sure if that means I'm older and wiser. Definitely older. But I still listen to High School Musical, so maybe not wiser or necessarily more mature. But I like this new attitude. The Bonus Round is good. It makes you appreciate stuff you used to take for granted. It makes you less likely to complain. It makes you laugh when you realize your husband has glitter on his ass just as he is about to go to work.

The Bonus Round is all good. I'll take it.

Penelope

Penelope's Pros and Cons of Heart Failure

I know this may seem somewhat callous, but honestly there is a silver lining for almost everything in our lives. Even heart failure. Following my August 3rd heart attack, I have come to the conclusion that there are pros and cons for even the most dire of medical emergencies.

Pros and Cons of Heart Failure by Penelope

1. Con= Threat of impending death.

2. Pro= You get a lot of beautiful flower bouquets.

3. Con= Threat of impending death.

4. Pro= Kick starts your weight loss program. I have lost 18 pounds since doomsday! Yay!

5. Con= Threat of...Okay, okay, I'll think of something else. Con= excruciating pain. Feels like your chest is being ripped apart and your head is about to explode. When the paramedics asked me on a scale of 1 to 10, where my pain was, I answered, "10,000." And I wasn't kidding.

6. Pro= Husband who has formerly eschewed all tedious house hold chores is now doing the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kidlets. Eureka!

7. Con= Paranoia about any and all chest pain. When I get indigestion, I start reaching for my nitro tablets. This is going to take some getting used to.

8. Pro= Reinvigorates a 20-year old marriage. Nothing makes you appreciate your spouse more than almost losing her. My husband is paying me so much attention, I am blushing with happiness. He rocks!

9. Con= I am taking enough pills every day to start my own pharmaceutical company.

10. Pro= The outpouring of love and support from family and friends is humbling and wonderful. I seriously have the greatest friends and family in the world.

11. Con= My combination heart healthy/diabetic/lo-sodium/acid reflux diet basically includes celery sticks and water. It's tough. Trying to eat less than 500 mg of sodium a day is almost impossible. However, not sticking to the diet = threat of impending death, which is a great motivator.

12. Pro= Saving tons of money by not going out to dinner/getting take-out. Since my diet is quite prohibitive (see #11), eating out at restaurants and getting take-out is impossible. This is saving our family tons of cashola. With the money I save this year, I'm planning on splurging on some gems (of course!) and a fabulous trip somewhere.

13. Con= Had to cancel our 20th wedding anniversary trip to Jackson Hole. Pisser! On the flip side, I guess it was good I wasn't on a white water rafting adventure when my heart attack struck.

14. Pro= Puts everything in your life into perspective. #1 on my to-do list every day is now...do the things I have to do in order to live...walking (4x/day), eating well, hanging out/talking with my friends, reducing stress, nibbling on a celery stick. Reading is only at bed-time, writing is only for a couple of hours a day. The rest of my life is now non-sedentary, active, mindful of being a extremely lucky heart patient.

Someone asked me if my life flashed before my eyes. No. At least not my past. What flashed before my eyes was my future. I want it. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to have it. I made a decision in the ambulance...I'm not going to die. And I plan to keep that promise to myself.

Off to take my heart-healthy walk while listening to Britney Spears (soooo inspiring! hee hee),

Penelope