I'm 51. What Can I Do?

I've been thinking a lot lately about age. And women. And what we can do, when we can do it.

And really...who can stop us?

Maybe you need a bit of inspiration. Or a reminder that not only does life not end at fifty, but maybe it starts again at 51.

Last year I turned into a hermit.

Really.

I didn't write. I didn't travel. I didn't participate. I was tired. I was overwhelmed. I was discouraged.

But I made it through that year. And I watched my kids--both of my adorable kids--make the transition into a new life, new schools, with open hearts and so much courage it humbles me. They had to tackle challenges, which they did. They got over some incredibly tough bumps. And they changed their lives for the better.

And I thought...okay, they did this. I can do this. I can break out of this shell and find the courage to get back into the world.

So I decided to dip a toe back into the waters of the outside world, and I applied to be a speaker at a conference. It was safe for me. A conference I've done plenty of times before, with people who know me. It's about 10 minutes from my house.

It was safe.

And guess what?

I failed.

I was rejected.

At first I didn't know what to do. This was my first attempt at getting back into the swing of things. My safe option. And I was rejected? Was the universe trying to tell me something? That I waited too long? I was too old, out-of-the-trendy loop? I had nothing left to offer?

I ruminated about this and percolated and struggled with it, and I finally came to a pretty important decision.

I think the universe was trying to tell me something.

No more playing it safe.

If you're gonna break out of that shell, break the fuck out of the shell.

All the way out.

Try something new, something different, something big.

Meet new people. Give new talks. Travel. Have an adventure.

That first rejection gave me the courage to try for EVERYTHING. Because, honestly, what did I have to lose?

So what if I got more rejections?

And I did. I got more rejections.

But you know what else? I got some fantastic opportunities, better than I ever imagined.

I'm traveling to Pittsburgh and Florida and Atlanta and Toronto. I'm talking about craft and writing and self-care and writing journeys. Things that matter to me.

I'm giving a talk to high school kids about the publishing industry.

My daughter is coming with me to Florida.

I've never been to Atlanta or Toronto. In addition to meeting new people and authors I admire, I get to meet on-line friends IN REAL LIFE. Meet face-to-face with folks who have supported me for years on-line.

That's pretty freakin' huge.

And for the first time in 25 years, I'm taking a class.

An art class.

I was nervous the first night. My print wasn't great. It was okay. But...I did it. I showed up, I participated, I tried something new.

Finally, I decided that this book I've been wrestling with is something bigger than I realized.

It's literary fiction. Is it scary to try something I've never done, break a personal writing mold for myself that is so hard that some days I am totally dumbfounded by this entire process?

Yeah, it's scary. But also exhilarating. 

Bottom line is that I believe I can do it.

I can do anything.

I can start something new at 51, and I will succeed.

I am not afraid of rejection. Or wrinkles. Or gray hair.

I embrace my decades of experience and know my wisdom will guide me through anything I choose to tackle in my life.

Eventually I'll get to the new flower business. And maybe that horror novel that is banging around my head.

I'm not gonna lie. There are days I want--desperately---to crawl back into that shell. It's safe in there, and quiet. And I can turn invisible if I need to.

But if I don't kick my own butt at 51, when will it happen?

And as I look back over my life, filled with all kinds of stuff, good and bad--I realize this was a good lesson to learn. At 51. 

You can play it safe, or you can be willing to try new things, to fail, to push, to experience.

Suddenly this year feels different. So much different than the last year. I'm not so tired. I'm not discouraged. The failures slide right off, and I'm onto the next thing.

I wasn't ready for this at 20. Or 30, or 40. And clearly not at 50.

But at 51, I can do this.

I'm 51. What can I do?

Anything.



Love to all,
Penny

Doing It All Wrong...And Liking It

This is my wrap-up-the year (2016) post, and what's-ahead (2017) post.

What happened this year?

I turned fifty. I had a mid-life crisis that went on and on for months. I didn't write anything for almost a year.

I continued to feel like an outsider in Romancelandia...not just as an author, but also as a reader.

Politics gave me insomnia and depression.

On the flip side (the positive, happy place)...I am hugely proud of my kids. I am proud of my husband.

I traveled to Iceland, a beautiful and inspiring country.

I finished my Klaus Brothers series.

I am so grateful to be surrounded by incredible friends...people who are loyal and supportive.

I have an exciting game plan for 2017.

I came to a big conclusion about myself and my "writing career"...I am basically doing this all wrong.

All of the stuff I *should* be doing to have "success" (huge sales, make bestseller lists, etc.) are things I don't want to do...


STUFF YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO TO BE A SUCCESS IN ROMANCELANDIA


1. Write a series of full-length books. Be consistent, create a cohesive brand.

Me: I don't want to write a series. I like stand-alone books, and I like shorter stories. I love trying new things. I like challenging myself with every new project. I like switching it up--from women's fiction to fantasy to children's lit to comedy. On the queue for next year is horror and contemporary fiction.

This goes against everything we're taught about making a cohesive, consistent brand for your readers.

Tough.

My readers know every new book from me will be a surprise. Something new, different, unique. I'm good with that, and my small and merry band of readers are good with that, too.

(Thank you to my SMALL AND MERRY BAND OF READERS!)



2. Follow the trends.

Me: No.

I don't want to write NA or sports romance or jerky heroes or whatever the latest band-wagon topic is. I like diving into new ideas. Even if they're not popular. Even if I might fail. That's okay.

My new interest is exploring the relationship between man and nature. My projects for next year are focusing on that topic. I'm blending my background/interest in science with my creative writing. Yippppeeeeeee!



3. Be an aggressive promoter.

Me: No.

I'm not begging for reviews or offering bribes or gaming the system. I'm not interested in street teams or asking my readers to do stuff that is not their responsibility. As a result, I'm not one of the authors with hundreds of 5-star reviews at Amazon or anywhere else.

And I'm good with that.



4. Use social media primarily for sales/promotion.

Me: Do I promote on social media? Sure! Sometimes.

Do I also use social media to socialize? Yes. I like talking about plants and glass and my nature hikes and weight loss and dachshunds and cocktails and books I read and films I watch. Sometimes I talk about politics (on Twitter) and often I post pics of my travels and family (especially on Facebook, where I still have an old-fashioned account not a page).

My favorite thing about social media is socializing. I have friends all over the world, and that makes me really happy.

My main goal for social media continues to be chatting with friends, and occasionally using it to promote my own publications. It might not be the best thing to do from a business standpoint, but it's a good thing to do from a personal standpoint.



5. Crank out books as fast as possible to "feed the beast."

Me: Eye roll.

The treadmill for Romancelandia has gotten completely out-of-hand. Cranking out new material as fast as possible is now the norm. That's just not my thing. I want to take my time next year and create something really special.

I'm jumping onto the old-fashioned idea of "one book a year."

In fact, I'm clinging to a bunch of old-fashioned concepts about publishing that may no longer be popular, but they're working for me.


My take-home message following the mid-life crisis and fiftieth birthday and life-changing trip to Iceland...do what makes you happy.

I'll leave the rules to someone else.

I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and Inspiring New Year and Happy Reading and Happy Writing!

Love to all,
Nina