Showing posts with label Amazon Romance Boards. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Amazon Romance Boards. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Update for Amazon Romance Community Members
In response to an inordinately high number of consumer suggestions, Amazon is implementing the following changes to our Romance Community Message Boards, effectively immediately.....
1.) We have added a "wackadoodle" button to the posts. Any member who accumulates in excess of 50 "wackadoodle" votes will have mental health self-help books added to his/her book suggestion list.
2.) We are abolishing censorship with regards to cuss words... as long as * buttons are included in said words. For example, c*ck-s*ck*r would be appropriate. However, if the stars are omitted, the word will be blacked out on the screen.
3.) Similar to Goodreads, pop-up boxes will now appear before posting. After checking "author" or "reader" the following terms of agreement will appear. Please check the box next to I Agree, or No Freakin' Way before continuing to the message boards.
(A) For "authors".... "I do solemnly swear not to pimp my books, regardless of origin of publication (independent digital format, traditional publishing house, or skanky erotica e-publisher)."
A scarlet "A" will appear next to your screen name to identify you as an author. These terms may also appear underneath the screen name... Indie, Trad, Skank.
(B) For "readers"..... "I do solemnly swear not to confuse the words 'heroin' or 'heroine' in my posts."
A scarlet "R" will appear next to your screen name to identify you as a reader. Any reader who abuses the English language excessively (misspelled words, incorrect grammar, lack of subject/verb agreement) will have the term "Illit" for "illiterate" appear beneath your screen name.
After agreeing to these terms, you will be permitted to post on any thread within the community. Rude, obnoxious behavior, name-calling, mud-slinging, and general pandemonium are still permitted.
4.) Due to overwhelming confusion as to terms and emoticons, an index will now be available to help clarify these words. Ex: Shill, troll, DIK, :^O, etc.
5.) Amazon will not permit members to change their screen names to BDB-inspired monikers. (See "Black Dagger Brotherhood" in the aforementioned index). For example, Linda to Lhinda, Jenny to Jhenny, etc. We are unable to accommodate the high volume of requests for these changes at this time.
Sincerely,
The Powers That Be At Amazon
Friday, December 3, 2010
A Day In The Life Of The Amazon Romance Boards

New Topic: Big Breasted Heroines
Jeni: Hi! I really, really love books with big breasted heroines. Any recommendations for me? Thanks!
Cin: Have you tried Susie Q's series, Big Breasted Babes In Love? It's chock full of them.
Mari: Hi Jeni! Also, Susie W's book Lusting for Cari is a good one. I think the heroine is a 32CC, not huge, but still....big enough.
JK: 32CC is not big breasted.
Adam: Hi everyone! Hope you are all having a nice day. I thought you might be interested in my new book, The History of Bosnia. I released it today on the Kindle. Please give it a try. Thanks, Adam
Tami: I just read a fun vampire/werewolf/Amish/UF/steampunk spanky erotica called Dark. All of the 14 heroines had super big breasts. It was the source of their paranormal powers. I would definitely recommend this one. Good luck, Jeni
Gigi: Adam...this is a ROMANCE board. No one gives a flying f**k about the history of Bosnia. Go find some losers in the history section.
Tina: I just read a book with a small breasted heroine, called Sally and Bobby. Bobby has a nice chest, too.
JK: Stay on topic, Tina. We are looking for BIG breasts. Sheesh. I am down-voting your post.
Tami: JK, don't be such a b*tch.
Adam: FYI, The History Of Bosnia just got a 5 star review from my mother. Here's the link. I hope you'll consider my book. I worked on it for twelve years.
Gigi: Adam, GET OUT! We hate you. Like we give a sh*t about your mother's opinion. Get a freakin' life, loser.
Kati: Jeni, do you consider 36 DDD big enough? My twin sister Betti just wrote a book called Love in the Afternoon. She's an independent author and her book is great. The heroine's breasts are quite large and bouncy.
Jeni: Thanks for all the recommendations! I am going to check them out now...
Marci: Jeni, do you like PR? UF? w/ HEA? or M/M/M/F?
Adam: What language are you speaking?
Dotti: I read a Christian inspirational recently with a large-bosomed lady, called The Loneliest Rose. She was terribly self-conscious. It was troubling.
Jami: How about Outlander?
Marci: Why is it that Outlander is recommended on every board? Huh? For God's sake people, give it a rest. Outlander is not that great.
Gigi: Outlander is the greatest book ever published. I'm down-voting your post, Marci.
Marci: Oh, great, it's the We-Love-Outlander brigade. I'm down-voting your post, Gigi. You b***h!
Jasaminda: Hi! I just read a fascinating book about the history of Bosnia. Some of the characters have big breasts. It's really, really good. You should all go out and buy it right now.
Gigi: Jesus H. Christ, Adam. How stupid do you think we are? Jasaminda? GET OUT! We hate you, we hate Bosnia, we hate history books, we hate indie authors. I am down-voting your post, Jassy, and I'm reporting your spam to Amazon.
Jojo: Hi everyone! This is a great topic. I just read a book called Forever Yours, by Susie B. The heroine, and all of her sisters, and their cousins, and neighbors, too, had large knockers. Although, the book sort of sucked. But it does fit Jeni's criteria.
Patsi: Why the obsession with large breasts? Do breasts really define a woman? Her sexuality? Her desirability? I think other attributes are more important than breast size. Like creamy skin, luminescent eyes, and silky hair with lots of low lights and high lights.
Gigi: I'm down-voting your post, Patsi.
Tami: Kick it down a notch, Gigi. Did you take your lexapro today?
Staci: Hi Jeni! I just wrote a book called Lovers in Love. The heroine has large breasts. It's a wonderful and heart-warming and sexy story. Please check it out. Thanks!
WBJ: Oh for Christ's sakes! Will you indie authors get out of here! You are not welcome. You are not following Amazon guidelines and you are an abomination against all of mankind.
Staci: Pardon me? My book perfectly fits the criteria for this thread. Bite me, WBJ.
Gigi: I'm down-voting Staci's posts.
JK: You go, girl!
Chichi: Never mind them, Staci. The Promo Police try to squash us, undermine our creative impulses, destroy our spirits, and crush our hopes of ever having anyone besides our mothers purchase our books. But we independent authors will not be broken!!!!!!
Daisy: Go, Chichi!
Meggie: That's right, sistah! Indie Authors Forever!
Gigi: Where do these skanky indie ho's from hell come from? Seriously. They are KILLING me.
Kitti: Jeni, do you like back-door action (in your books, I mean...LOL!). If so, Gerald's Lust is a good book for you. The heroine has massive boobies. Hope you like it!
Jeni: Thanks, Kitti!
Tami: Did you write that book, Kitti? Just wonderin'....
Kitti: No. I'm not a writer. I'm have a doctorate in genetics and biochemistry from Harvard. I just happen to enjoy erotica with plenty of back-door action as a past time. What's it to you?
Adam: Hi Jeni-- I just re-wrote my book, The History Of Bosnia. I included several characters with large breasts. Please consider buying my book. I am begging you.
Babi: My favorite themes are death, murder, child abduction, rape and pillaging, and triads. Does anyone have a recommendation for me?
Tami: Babi, this is not appropriate for this thread. Please try to stay on topic. You can start another thread to discuss these types of books.
Cin: Actually, someone already did. Here's the link.
Barbi: My cat died today.
Joanie: Barbi, so sorry about that! Did your cat have big breasts?
Jeni: Well, thanks to everyone for your suggestions. My TBR pile is growing and growing! I think I'll start with The History Of Bosnia.
Adam: God bless you, Jeni. Will you marry me?
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