Creating Treasure

I love it when something changes my perspective on a certain topic. 

Looking at things from a different point of view is a way to learn, grow, and change.

Recently, I had two separate events in my life that opened up my eyes about writing and publishing.

One was meeting a woman who wrote her memoir.

The other was expanding my "friends" on social media to include authors of nonfiction, poetry, kiddy lit, mysteries, thrillers, women's fiction, horror, literary fiction, and more.

After fifteen years of being totally immersed in genre fiction and the current indie publishing model--write fast, crank out a book every three months, follow trends, write to market, write a series, etc--it was refreshing to get a different point of view about the publishing world.

There are myriad approaches to writing and models for publishing.

Some folks write ONE book in their lifetime. 

ONE.

Just one.

Crazy?

I met a lovely woman at a book-signing who was selling her memoir. She was bubbling over with enthusiasm about her book. She'd scheduled talks at libraries, bookstores, and for groups that were appropriate for her topic.

When I asked what she was currently working on, she answered, "No other books. This is it for me. My story."

I was flabbergasted.

No other books?

She had written her story. It was her own personal literary treasure. 

It didn't lose value after three months. It didn't lose relevancy. She wasn't worried about cranking out a book every ninety days, and fretting that readers would forget about her.

Her book had a unique title and cover and story because it was her personal treasure.

It wasn't disposable. It was written to have long-term value. To be durable, special.

I also found that different corners of the publishing world had very different personalities and goals.

Some were focused on language, emotion. Their goals included being published in literary magazines and winning awards.

Some reached out to people with shared interests and concerns about the world around them.

Some were focused on bestseller lists and marketing plans.

I noticed a difference in the way the books were discussed and treated.

Some had longevity, timelessness. 

Some seemed generic, with similar covers, titles, and blurbs.

I discovered that I LOVE poets. They respect language. They respect each other. They're all about authenticity. 

I met people who promoted their books in a professional, non-aggressive way. And others who don't know that messaging a "new" friend with a spam promo is off-putting.

I came to this conclusion. There is room for everyone...

...The folks who focus on productivity and speed and commercial success.

...The folks who choose to create one treasure in their lifetime.

...Writers who concentrate on language and quality and recognition for that.

...People who teach and connect.

...And many more. An infinite number of possibilities.

Most importantly, any kind of book can have longevity and durability. 

Think about a favorite dog-eared cookbook.

Non-fiction, genre fiction, literary fiction.

Any kind of book can be timeless treasure with a long shelf-life.

That's a good goal for all writers, of all types. To create treasure for our readers.

Off to write,

Penny/Nina

10th Year Book Anniversary: Life Lessons

Ten years ago, in 2009, my first book was published.

It was a quirky take on the legend of Santa Claus, complete with drunken elves, five rambunctious brothers, and romance under the Christmas tree. It had won a couple of awards, and was picked up by a small publisher who offered holiday options.

Here I am, 10 years later. A decade has passed. How did that even happen?

I have now published one children's book, all five installments of the Klaus Brothers Series, an award-nominated short story with "seasoned" characters in their sixties, a rated G snowbound-in-a-cabin quickie, a novella about a treehouse designer, and an award-winning women's fiction about a reality cooking show.

In the meantime, I survived a heart attack, raised two kids, a husband, and a wiener dog.

I've been in three critique groups, attended countless conferences, offered workshops from Florida to Maine, co-hosted an indie publishing symposium, won a bunch of awards, sold a bunch of books, accumulated reviews--the good, the bad, and the ugly--mentored other authors, befriended many readers, ran a review site, and learned more about the publishing industry than I really ever wanted to know. I even had a film company express interest in one of my books. This amounted to nothing, but it added a bit of excitement to my author journey.

Yesterday, I spent some time thinking about what lessons I've learned over the last decade. Yes, I've learned a lot of lessons. 

But when you really get right down to it, I can sum up a decade of learning into two points...

1. Focus on the writing.

2. True friendships are the golden nugget.

The Writing: I started my writing journey as an eight-year-old, lugging around a dingy white notebook with my first story scribbled in extremely feminine cursive.

I was eight. I didn't know anything about marketing trends, agents, or conferences.

All I knew was that story I could not stop thinking about was growing and expanding and becoming something exciting. I had discovered the "thrill" that a writer experiences with the birth of a novel.

And, after a decade of publishing bullshit, I now know that the "thrill" is still the most important thing.

Really, the only thing.

It's true. I see a lot of authors get caught up in the other stuff--dollar signs in their eyes, and awards season, and so bent out of shape when they get a bit of criticism. But the truth is, if you have the heart and soul of a writer, that "thrill" is the reason you're doing this.

As it should be.

True Friendships: Doesn't matter who or what you are. Teacher, social worker, stay-at-home mom. Scientist, author, Hollywood actor.

Pretty soon you figure out those true, loyal friends are the golden nuggets of your life.

They deserve your time and energy and love. And you learn to push the backstabbers, who are sometimes dressed in sheep's clothing, off the proverbial cliff.

Those true friends are with you every step of the way, whether you're rich or poor or depressed or useful. Long after you write your last book, you'll be laughing together at the nursing home and listening to 1980s Madonna songs.

Hold on tight to those people.

✯✯✯

That's it.

Those are the lessons.

I expect those same two lessons will still be appropriate years from now.

I find it interesting that over the last twenty years of writing, I've come full circle. Started as an enthusiastic writer, became fully immersed in the publishing world, and then found my way back to this basic place where writing is the focus.

It's a good place to be.

Love and good wishes to all the storytellers out there,

Nina/Penny

The Great Experiment

The Great Experiment

I would like to invite you along for the ride as I attempt my "Great Experiment!"

What is "The Great Experiment?"

Well, first a little background for those of you who don't know me.

The most important things to me as an author are writing unique, one-of-a-kind fiction--the quirkier the better--and trying new things creatively. I like to set up writing challenges for myself as I embark on each new project. 

They are craft-related goals.

I'll try writing a different genre, experimenting with a new format, change up POVs, blend storylines in a novel. I try to do something totally different creatively and push myself as a writer.

Example: A few years ago, I decided to write a romance with characters in their late 50s/early 60s--not common at that time, and in fact the characters were considered way too old and not appropriate for romance. That was a challenge I couldn't pass up. I also made the couple fairly unlikable characters, and attempted a short-format as an added test. Could I make readers root for this couple by the end of the book? Believe their love story? And accomplish that with 21,000-words?

Could I do it?

I really had no idea, but the challenge was worth the risk and fun to boot.

Shockingly, APPLES SHOULD BE RED did extremely well. It's not for everyone, but the unexpected aspect got it attention and it received many excellent reviews, awards, even a potential film deal, etc.

That was an experiment with a happy ending. (In the matter of complete transparency, I've attempted many projects that failed and have ended up in the trash bin. As one does).

My outside-the-box thinking also applies to marketing/promotion. I am not interested in "playing the game" as far as typical promotion/marketing/branding. Believe me, as an introvert extraordinaire, if I could reinvigorate the "Hermit Model for Authors"--living alone in a shack in the woods--I would be all over that. 

As I came to terms with these truths about my own personality, I realized that the "stuff authors should do"--at least for genre fiction--is not a good fit for me. Most of these things make me uncomfortable.

The list includes aggressive promotion, writing-to-market, joining secret author groups that offer the "holy grail" (HOW TO MAKE A BESTSELLER LIST), attending huge reader events, and so on.

I decided I wanted to make a new publishing model for myself that focused on personal connections with other authors and readers, in smaller, more intimate groups. Not based on the need to sell/make money, but for authentic friendships to form. I also wanted to make connections with a more eclectic group of people, including scientists, artists, musicians. Creative and curious people in all different types of professions/with various interests.

I know, this strategy is sucky if you're trying to make tons of money. But if you're just trying to be happy and creatively fulfilled--which are my personal goals--it's a good plan. 

What I'm wondering now is this...if you don't "play the game" and follow these lists, if you try something totally outside-of-the-box, can you still find an audience and a modicum of success?

Here is my overall game plan for this publishing experiment...

1. Minimal social media accounts.

2. No street team. 

3. Speaking engagements: yes (especially small groups...super fun for me). Book readings: Yes (that's my favorite). Huge reader events: No.

4. Focus on unique fiction, original material.

5. Focus on stand-alone books.

6. No writing groups/loops focused on marketing/promotion.

7. "Small Batch Whiskey" model for sales/branding. High quality, small batch, unique one-of-a-kind product, and focus on connecting with small groups not massive followings.

8. Home-grown website.

9. Authentic branding.

10. No author/reader groups.

Yes, I'm an introvert. WHY DID HERMIT WRITERS GO OUT OF STYLE?

Don't bother me...I'm in my shell!

Current goals...

1. Finish BLUE, which is so far out of the box it probably needs a new galaxy.

2. Upon completion of book...Query agents/publishers. I had a small publisher when I first started writing, then branched into self-publishing. I think this book would do well with a more traditional approach. Worth a try, and if not, I can self-pub it.

3. I have a very unique plan for promotion, which I'll discuss as it happens. 

4. Continue to do things that make me happy...give workshops about self-care for authors, craft, etc. Travel. Meet new people.

5. FLEXIBILITY in terms of work/life balance. If my family needs me, they come first.  

So, this is the experiment. I made up my own rules of engagement. Will this work?

I have no freakin' idea, but it's worth a try.

For those of you playing at home, you can follow me on this blog/website for updates. I'll try to post on Mondays with an update for the week. I also have wonderful interactions on Facebook, pretty much the last-man-standing for my social media accounts. Friend me there if you're so inclined.

I would love to hear about your goals, achievements, and progress. Join me here to share. Are you creating a tailor-made plan for you? Are you following a more traditional path on your writing/publication journey? Let's chat. 

Share your weekly goals and let us know how you're doing, what's working/not working. WHAT'S YOUR EXPERIMENT?

Thanks for following along...

Nina


P.S. First Week of Updates

1. Status of BLUE: at approximately 10,500 words

2. Work on edits for existing sections, add new section switching POV from boy to girl. 

3. For folks interested in a sneak peek at BLUE, here's a link.

4. Hygge goal for the week: Make miniature terrariums with ferns/moss donated by neighbor.

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE WITH CREATIVE GOALS, PROJECTS, AND LIFE! xoxoxoxo

Overcoming Professional Jealousy

Here's a topic that is uncomfortable and sometimes embarrassing and can be utterly debilitating.

It's also something that is widely prevalent in publishing although seldom spoken about.

Unless you are living the existence of a "hermit" writer--perhaps living in a shack in the woods with no Internet service, maybe a small herb garden, and perhaps a couple of wiener dogs...

(Sorry, I got side-tracked by my fantasy life!)

...you are aware of other authors.

In fact, once you get going with marketing/promotion you realize that comparing yourself to others is actually part of the process.

Who are your "comps?"

That's how publishing companies market you. They compare you to similar authors and market you accordingly.

The downside of this is that you are in danger of having your ego crushed when you discover that similar authors sell more/have better reviews/win awards/[FILL IN THE BLANK ABOUT ANYTHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL BADLY ABOUT YOURSELF]. 

This is professional jealousy.

This can affect your motivation to write.

Or even to continue with this career.

This is especially an issue in romance publishing where everyone is writing the same themes/tropes, copying each other, jumping on trends. Writing "unique" fiction is not the end-game, which was explained to me in condescending fashion by an agent many years ago.

It's all about the comps.

So, what to do?

First of all, don't feel guilty. It's natural to compare yourself to others, and it's normal to sometimes feel envious of other peoples' success.

But this is the thing you have to remember...

Other people may write the same genre, or have similar interests/branding/series, etc., but no one else can write your book but you.

That's what you have.

YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN WRITE YOUR BOOK.

THE ONLY ONE.

That's it. That's what you own. Your story. Other authors might write similar things, even the exact same topic, but only YOU can write YOUR story.

No one else is you. Want to be yourself, not others. Want to write YOUR stories, not someone else's.

Your story is your power. Don't give it up.

Wise words from an old hermit writer...

xoxoxo

Nina

A Round of Applause for the Good Guys

I saw some frustrated sentiments on social media this week, and I thought I would chime in.

This pertains to the world of publishing, but it could probably apply to almost any profession.

It's human nature to crave the satisfaction of "fair play." 

We like to think the good guys will win, and the bad guys will lose. Unfortunately, life doesn't always work out that way.

It's incredibly frustrating to see folks who lie, cheat, and steal get ahead and "win."

There are plenty of folks in the publishing world who are engaged in shady business...slick, manipulative, and unethical marketing techniques; plagiarism; copying brands, story concepts, book ideas. Folks lie about their true identity, use people under false pretenses, ghost people when they're finished.

And then...there are people who DON'T do these things.

People who are transparent, who come up with their own original story/branding concepts, work hard, and engage in above-board promotion.

It can be really discouraging to see the folks who engage in the crappiest behavior rise to the top of the pile.

It's especially discouraging if you are on the receiving end of some of this bad behavior.

It's even more discouraging when you and all of your ethical behavior are not accomplishing the same level of success.

I have two bits of wisdom about this...

1. Redefine success.

It's a dangerous thing to define success in an art field by the numbers.

Number of books sold. Amount of dollars earned.

And yes, I consider writing an art.

I know there are folks who only see it as a business enterprise, and plenty of writers who depend on their income to live.

But the slippery slope here is that if you see publishing romance novels only as an unlimited cash cow, you are creating a monster. There are folks who will push that to the limits. And beyond. They think nothing of crawling over other people to get that magical pot of gold.

If you are an author who is clinging to ethical behavior, I have a few things to say to you. Things you might not hear a lot...

CONGRATULATIONS!

Great job!

Way to go!

Bravo!

Excellent work!

Your success does not need to be defined by numbers. You need to stop comparing yourself to others. 

This leads me to Bit O' Wisdom #2...

2. Own your path.

Comparing yourself to others is extremely unhealthy in this business. You will never be proud of your own accomplishments, because someone out there has accomplished MORE. Bigger things. Better things. And not always by honest means.

You need to define WHO YOU ARE, WHAT YOUR GOALS ARE, and HOW YOU WILL ACHIEVE THEM.

If you are committed to being transparent, authentic, and hard-working...good for you.

Own it.

Don't worry if you don't make a million bucks this year.

Be proud of who you are and what you are accomplishing.

The two most important things in a writing career--in my humble opinion--are quality and integrity.

If you can stick to these principles, and also sell a million books, do it.

If you can't, that's okay.

Be your authentic self, and own it.

Sending out positive vibes to the good guys...

Nina

The Fallacy of Constant Visibility

I'm giving a talk in a couple of weeks about anxiety, stress, and finding ways to be happy in the midst of a writing career.

Twenty years ago, the pace of the publishing world was much slower. You submitted a manuscript (in print, via snail mail), and you might hear back in eight months. Then, maybe you would land an agent, and it would take another year to get a publishing contract. And then another year or two before the book was released.

There was still anxiety and worry and desperation, but the time line was different.

Now, things happen in days.

Thanks to indie publishing, books can potentially be cranked out in days. Not saying that's good, just saying it's happening.

Feelings of desperation and worry and anxiety are so ramped up right now, if you're not constantly in the public eye, you feel like a failure.

I've seen authors recommend staying "current" every 2-3 months in some way. Either releasing a new book, doing a special promotion, something. 

Constant visibility.

And if you're not doing that? You feel worthless, like no one cares, like you are no longer important in the writing world.

I'm gonna call HUGE bullshit on that. Right now.

Something I discovered after doing a Book Bub ad...there's a big difference in readers-addicted-to-cheap-deals and readers-addicted-to-YOU.

Readers looking for cheap deals are looking for daily fixes, and this drives the idea that romance authors MUST-DO-SOMETHING-EVERY-DAY-NEWSLETTER-NEW BOOK-SOMETHING-SHEER PANIC!!!

I sold a lot of books with Book Bub, but did I gain a lot of long-term readers? That's the kicker. I think a bunch of those consumers are looking for a freebie or a cheap deal, and do not necessarily develop author-loyalty.

I'm looking for author-loyalty. Readers who really dig my books, my voice, my vision. 

I know, even if it takes me 1 year, 2 years, 10 years to release the next book, those loyal readers will buy it.

This push for constant productivity and visibility is making lots of money for promotional businesses. It's also encouraging less-than-stellar books on the market. I see plenty of books with no editing at all. 

This is the way I look at it...

For readers who want free/cheap books, and lots of them, and daily new deals, there are plenty of books to choose from. Tons.

For readers who want to read a Penny Watson original, there are books for them, too.

These are two different types of business models, and it's fine to pick one or the other.

But for folks who feel like they are failures if they can't keep up this pace, please stop and think...

Amy Tan had four years between THE KITCHEN GOD'S WIFE and THE HUNDRED SECRET SENSES. Did we forget about her? Did she become irrelevant? No.

Pink, the singer, took time off to be with her kids. Did we forget about her/not care about her? No, she's awesome. We didn't forget.

Maybe, instead of seeing ourselves as a disposable commodity, we should see ourselves as artists. It takes time to create art. It's special and unique and worth-waiting-for. 

It's a different way of looking at this writing business, and it's a different way of dealing with stress and the current push for constant visibility.

I'm not satisfied with seeing my colleagues sell a lot of books. I also want them to be happy and not feel crushed under the stress of this business.

Go ahead and take your time if you need to. We will all still be here when you're ready for us.

You're worth waiting for!

All my best,

Penny/Nina

Embrace Your Writing Instincts

Once upon a time, I had a critique partner tell me you had to fulfill three tasks with each paragraph you wrote.

To be honest, I can't remember the rules.

I'm not really a rule gal.

But I do remember one thing. It occurred to me that if you are trying to follow a lot of rules with every word you write, it might inhibit your natural storytelling ability.

It might even incapacitate you and give you writer's block. Make you anxious and worried. 

With every word.

I couldn't believe this writer was thinking about three rules instead of just letting her story flow.

Most writers are natural storytellers. 

It's in our blood.

And, as natural storytellers, our instincts are pretty sound.

We know how to hook the listener/reader/viewer. We know how to build tension. We know how to create conflict. 

I'm sure there are a lot of rules we can follow. But at what cost?

I think writers often underestimate their natural instincts.

You know when something is working and when it's not.

If you listen to that inner critic/editor/gut feeling/instinct, it will most likely steer you in the right direction.

Learning about writing "rules" from books, workshops, conferences, critique partners can help you polish up those words. Tweak the manuscript. When it's time to revise and edit, those helpful tips can make your story shine.

But don't let someone else's advice drown out the most important thing...your own voice.

And most importantly, don't let those rules incapacitate your creative output.

We all know it's fine to "puke" up the words and edit later.

I usually find that my initial instincts with a story are spot-on. Not perfect, but the instincts are solid.

Many times I'll go around in circle, trying and rejecting different ideas, and I end up back at the beginning, because the initial concept was right.

We have absorbed thousands of stories in our lifetimes, from books and movies and real-life news and our own personal experience. All of those things become part of who we are as writers, and they make our instincts stronger.

Final word for the day...TRUST YOURSELF!

You got this!

All my best,
Penny/Nina

Beyond The Unicorns

Betrayal, lies, deceit, theft, false identities, professional jealousy, backstabbing, manipulation.

Sounds like a TV movie? A suspense thriller?

It could be.

But it could also be practically any week of the year in the romance publishing world.

Why does this matter?

Because someone, somehow, thought it would be a good idea to promote the concept that the romance world is filled with wonderful people who are always supportive and kind and trustworthy and have your back.

It's the rainbows-and-unicorns thing.

And yes, there are some stupendous people in the publishing world. Talented, lovely, gracious people who are true friends.

But just as with any other profession--and perhaps more with this one, because it is a creative field, and thus includes an immense amount of competition--there is another reality that is the opposite of unicorns and rainbows.

Some people suck.

A lot.

There is a huge amount of money to be made in publishing, and there are people willing to lie, cheat, and steal to get a piece of that chunky pie.

Just because the romance world is primarily women does not mean this harsh reality does not exist. Women are just as likely to be fiercely ambitious as men.

The stakes are constantly rising. More money, more manipulation, more greed.

It's hard to know who to trust. Sometimes, you make mistakes. Someone you think is a cool person who has your best interests at heart actually has *her* best interests at heart.

The first time you deal with this betrayal is like getting sucker-punched. Not only do you feel crushed emotionally--finding out a friend is not really a friend--but you also feel like a chump for giving and caring and helping, and getting tossed into the garbage at the end.

I have heard betrayal stories that are truly horrifying. One person had a betrayal so hideous that if it happened to me, I would have quit writing altogether.

But she didn't.

God bless her, she still has a smile on her face, and determination in spades. And probably a good heaping dose of caution now, which is not a bad thing. It's about self-preservation in this business.

What happened to her, and how she handled it, shows her strength of character and inspiring optimism in a field that is filled with landmines.

I'm sorry if this post seems cynical. It's supposed to be about having realistic expectations, and resilience after getting beat up, and optimism and faith in yourself after setbacks.

Romancelandia is not unicorns and rainbows.

It's the real world, filled with good people, and kind people, and cool people, and plenty of assholes, and wolves-in-sheeps-clothing.

Over time, your skills at sniffing out bullshit become honed, so you're less likely to get blind-sided. But regardless, it's a horrible feeling. 

Some folks are not looking for real friends in this business. They are looking for professional relationships, people who are tools for them, to use to get ahead. And they will climb over a pile of people willing to help to get to the head of the pack.

The trick is to figure out who those people are, and who your true friends are, and then squeeze those true friends tight and never let them go.

So, my advice to newbies starting out and old-timers who are still struggling with this competitive business is this...

Be cautious.

Be smart.

Be careful.

Know your true friends and hold them close.

Don't let the users get you down.

Have faith in yourself and your abilities and work on your strength and resilience. 

This is the real world, not Fabio with his hair blowing in the breeze, gazing adoringly at his gorgeous heroine.

The romance world is more like a middle-aged man with a pot belly and a bald spot. 

Real, but not necessarily a bad thing.

We can do this.

Over-and-out,

Penny

How I Accidentally Became A Writer Who Doesn't Write, and How It Sort of Saved My life

Folks have all sorts of reasons why they write. Some do it to make a living, some do it as a creative outlet. Some like being part of the community. Some people need it for self-identity.

I do it for the same reason I wrote stories when I was eight-years-old, lugging around my dingy white notebook filled with a first novel about Mandy, the girl who lived in a treehouse.

Because I'm a storyteller.

I actually feel most comfortable with this description of what I do. More so than "author." I get stories in my head and I write them down. Occasionally they win awards or sell a modest amount or make a bit of money. Not a lot. It's never been about the sales/money for me.

I am fortunate enough to have a husband who not only supports our family financially, but he also supports my writing as a creative outlet. 

So how is it that I found myself overwhelmed with deadlines and anxiety and a dread of writing and the publishing world that had turned something I used to love into something soul-crushing?

Well, let's see.

Starting the publishing journey is like rolling down a snowy hill. You start out as an enthusiastic snowflake, gain some momentum, turn into a snowball, roll along gaining more speed, and suddenly this thing that used to be about writing and creativity becomes about promotion and productivity and deadlines and it's not that fun anymore.

And when you have a lot of stress in your life--could be family stuff, other jobs, money, health, whatever--adding more stress because you feel obligated to publish a book every three-six months or get left behind--this becomes the straw that broke the camel's back.

Part of my writing stress is self-imposed. I'm an all-or-nothing writer. Once I dive into a story, I become all-focused. I think about it in the morning when I drive the kids to school, I skip lunch, I skip dinner (families tend to not like that so much), and my brain is pretty much a whirlwind of THE BOOK until it's done. This is just the way my process has always been. I have short intense bursts of creativity--I call it the "punctuated equilibrium" approach to creative writing.
 
What I noticed as I aged was that my ability to deal with stress--my resilience--was starting to crumble. Things that used to roll right off me were causing insomnia and anxiety. My brain was a jumble of stuff to do for the kids, the family, the dog, the house, and the book. 

Guess what wasn't in the jumble?  

Me.

I wasn't in the jumble. 

More specifically, my happiness was not in the jumble.

My days were about to-do lists and I rushed from one thing to the next, not engaged in the moment but focused on getting the next thing done. The next thing to worry about.

We only have so much emotional energy in our lives. If we use up all of it worrying about the kids or family or book, there is nothing left for us.

It's almost impossible to "remove stress" from your life. Being healthy is not really about removing the stress. It's about becoming better at managing the stress.

And so, after pushing myself to finish a holiday romance in time for Christmas (that's a deadline that can't be moved back, by the way), I decided to take a breather and figure out how to manage my stress better.

My initial idea was to take a short break--maybe a month or two--and then slowly work back to a regular writing schedule.

I took a month off. 

I took another month off.

I started to add "WRITE" onto my to-do list. But...interestingly, it didn't happen.

I did this over and over again, feeling guilty each time the day went by and the "WRITING" thing didn't happen. And then...I stopped putting "WRITING" on the to-do list.

The first time I did this, I was giddy! I felt like a kid playing hooky. How could I have a to-do list without writing on it? Impossible!

Actually, it was strangely liberating. I started to figure out stuff that made me happy again.

I made lists that had things like "hike in the forest" "have lunch with the girls" "plant pumpkin patch in the garden."

I told my husband I was stripping my life down to the studs, and then building it back up. I needed to get down to the very basic stuff I need to be happy and healthy, and then add back the extras. Figure out how all these pieces fit.

I spent a lot of time researching simple living and minimalism and Hygge and I came up with a list of things that work for me every day. And my resilience shot up. I became better at managing stress. And believe me, with a 14-year old teenage girl, I have stress that would make your hair turn white. (Yes, my hair is white).

These are the things I do each day to feel centered and happy. After nine months of not writing, I feel...better. Much better. I didn't intend to take nine months off, but it turned out to be exactly what I needed.

Now I'm attempting a new writing process, one that feeds my soul instead of crushing it. I need to find a way to incorporate this into my schedule without it taking over everything else. And I'm ignoring every single thing about publishing and focusing only on writing. Back where I started. Over forty years ago.

This week was the first week back. It felt good to work on my book and to dive back into research and a new writing challenge. But I still managed my walks, cooking dinner for my family, and going out with friends.

It's not uncommon for women to overburden themselves with responsibility and to ignore their own health. I'm talking physical and mental and emotional well-being. We put our kids and family and jobs on the totem pole, but often we don't put ourselves there. Either we're at the bottom of the totem pole, or not on it at all.

I realized this year either I put myself on the damned totem pole, or I'm gonna fail. I needed to replenish my emotional energy.

Most of all, just needed to find my happy.

I found it.

Now I'm ready to write my happy.

Looking forward to a fresh start,

Nina/Penny