What I Read Over April Vacation...A Bunch of Mini Reviews

Here is what I read over spring vacation (sounds like I'm writing an essay for elementary school, only these are naughty romance novels....hee hee!)

• The Redhead Revealed by Alice Clayton....Another wonderful addition to this series. I laughed out loud on the airplane reading this baby. It's funny, sexy, and has an addictive on-going storyline. The conflict/tension that crops up between the H/h made me a tad nervous, but the resolution was excellent. One of my favorite themes in romance - "alternate families" - is totally happening here, and I love how the heroine is embracing this part of her life. Grade: B+

• Cinderella Unmasked by Bonnie Dee and Marie Treanor....This is an erotic version of "Cinderella." I adore funky new twists on fairy tales, and this one is quite good. Dee/Treanor's "twist" on the legend--Prince Charming abandons the kingdom to "take up with" a male pirate (hee hee....love that!) and leaves Cinderella in charge--is a kick-ass premise for a book. The authors manage to throw in some sexy adventures for the queen, a hot hero, a fairy godmother, wicked stepmother and stepsisters, and even the return of Charming. This is well written and entertaining, but I felt like the pacing should have been faster. This would have worked better as a shorter story. I will definitely be reading more stories by these authors who are new-to-me. Grade: B+/A-

• This Side Of The Grave by Jeaniene Frost....I almost DNFed this book at the beginning. It had a very slow start. But once it finally got going, I loved it. Bones and Cat have become an iconic pairing in paranormal romance. This book has a different feel to it than the previous ones, which interestingly enough parallels the changes in Cat's life. She is settling into married life, more stable, more responsible, no longer the wild child. That's not to say her life is still not filled with violence, excitement and hot smoky sex with Bones. Because it is. But this series is also settling down a bit. The high octane feel of the first few books isn't happening here, but I don't mind. I actually really like how the series is "maturing" while still maintaining a very engaging storyline filled with conflict and tension. And I especially love that we are not rehashing Cat and Bones' relationship insecurities, which was driving me nuts. They are finally beyond that, and their relationship continues to grow in the best possible way. Rock on, Jeaniene Frost! Grade: B+/A-

• St Nacho's by Z A Maxfield....DNF at 2% done (Kindle). Okay, confession time. Mandi gave me an "M/M assignment." I was supposed to read this book and do a review for her. However, after I read the blurb for the book, I knew I would have problems with this one. I don't love emo/angsty contemporary stories, and this sounded painful. In addition to that, I like a lot of romance with my erotica, and this sentence pretty much stopped me dead in my tracks...."I could suck any one of these guys through fifty feet of irrigation pipe, but as it happens, today I'm not looking for love." Ugh. And today, I'm not looking to read this book. I willingly accept my "F'-super failure grade from Mandi, and will attempt another M/M book that is lighter, funnier, sweeter, more romantic.

• The Bride and The Buccaneer by Darlene Marshall....Thanks, Darlene, for recommending your book to me! This book was indeed the perfect romance novel for a trip to Sanibel-Captiva. It is a charming, well-written historical romance set in 19th century Florida. It combines adventure, fascinating historical tidbits about 19th century Florida (including maritime history, slavery, and cool stuff about the territories and villages of Northeast Florida in the 1800's), very appealing characters, and an intriguing treasure hunt-storyline. The hero is a sexy-as-hell "pirate," the heroine is a spunky treasure hunter, and their love story is sweet if not somewhat predictable. I loved this! Grade: A-

• Dreams Of A Dark Warrior by Kresley Cole.....Still reading it! I am reserving judgment about this one. Not too thrilled with it yet, but KC has been known to take a slow start and turn it into something spectacular.

Happy Monday (where's the beach?...wahhhhhh!),

Penelope

Bite Down Brits, Alpha Chick Werewolves, and Horny Gorillas From Outer Space

Sometimes, as I'm reading a book, I wonder how the author composed a query letter trying to sell it. Because the premise is so wacky, it's hard to believe a publisher heard the pitch and then said...."This sounds great!" Here's an example.....


Dear Joe Schmo Publishing Co,

I hope you will consider publishing my story. It's a 30 page quickie about a super horny alpha male gorilla alien dude from outer space who kidnaps an earth girl to use as a sex slave, chases after her in the jungle, and then she gets trapped by a super horny alien plant that fondles her sex organs and tries to suck her dry until she goes completely insane (hence the title Dementia), but then the "hero" finds her and boinks her for most of the 30 pages, and then they decide they are hopelessly in love with each other.

I have been a member of the RWA for 14 years, and I live in Ohio with 37 cats and a pot-bellied pig.

Sincerely,
Susi Q Author



Dear Susi Q,

We'll take it!

Sincerely,
Joe Schmo



The super short quickie (took me about 5-10 minutes to read it, and cost me $4, which was irksome) Dementia was recommended as a "Tarzan and Jane" style book on the Amazon boards. Yep, it had a jungle and a super horny "hero"....and it was definitely a sexy story. It's part of a series, and I'm sure if I had read the rest of this series perhaps this book would have made more sense to me. It was a little too wonky, even for Penelope. Grade: C+


Next update....I read The Art Of Seducing A Naked Werewolf  by Molly Harper. Interesting thing about this new series by Molly Harper....these books are written in first person POV, but the first book is written by Mo (non werewolf with a killer sense of humor), and the second book is written in Maggie's POV (she is now the female alpha leader of her werewolf pack). This is the first time I have seen a series where the books are being told in first person POV by different characters, with very different "voices." Part of the reason that How To Flirt With A Naked Werewolf (first book in the series) was so adorable and cute is that the heroine's voice is spunky, sassy, sarcastic and hilarious. There is a real energy and sparkle to that book. Maggie, the heroine of the second book, has quite a different voice. So this book has a different feel to it. Harper's humor still comes through in this one, but it is not as zingy, not as sparkly. I felt like I was slogging through this one at times....places with too many info dumps, and one of my big pet peeves in romance--the hero and heroine were not together for a big chunk of the book. The best part of a romance is the chemistry between the hero and heroine, not the damned plot. If that's missing, so is the sparkle. This one fell flat for me. Other problems I had with it....not nearly as sexy as the first one, and a huge TSTL moment in the book for the heroine that pissed me off. Right after giving her cousin serious crap about running in the woods alone and almost getting killed, Maggie decides to...go off to run in the woods alone. I was disappointed with this one, but still love the humor of this author, and look forward to reading more of her books. Grade: C+

Finally, huge gigantic thanks to Patti from the blog Book Addict. I was in a foul, horrible mood and asked folks on twitter for a book recommendation to cheer me up, and Patti recommended The Unidentified Redhead by Alice Clayton. This was just what the doctor ordered, baby! So hilarious I could not stop laughing out loud. Alice Clayton accomplished two things with this book that impressed the hell out of me. One, she made her first person POV heroine sassy without being a pain in the arse (I loved her!), and two, she made this book incredibly sexy. It's not easy writing first person POV sex scenes and making them hot. This book was smoking hot, had unbelievably great chemistry between the hero and heroine, fabulous secondary characters, and was chock full of excellent pop culture references that made me swoon. The New Kids On The Block! Cory Haim! So great! I usually hate blond, curly haired heroes, but this Brit was super delish. The scene where they are eating in bed, and she is picking out melba toasts from the chex mix for him, and he is picking out wheat chex for her, and.....OK, you had to be there, but seriously, it's adorable! Any author who can make chex mix romantic is a winner in my book. Grade: A

Sincerely,
Joe Schmo Publisher I mean Penelope