Penelope Percusses A Multitude of Pet Peeves With Some Perky Picks

The truth is...I had a whole blog post written about my pet peeves. Which are plentiful. Piercing. And problematic.

However.

I decided to push aside the profound protests, and focus on something positive and purifying. (I think I've run out of opportunities to use "p" words, although I really, really wanted to get the word "pusslike" in this post. I'll try later.)

So, without further ado (you're thinking THANK GOD!), here are some perky picks from Penelope...

1. Cupcakes

2. Robins (they're back! yay!)

3. If He's Tempted by Hannah Howell

(I really enjoyed the latest Wherlocke book by HH)

4. Tim McGraw

5. This hilarious Tumblr site: Reasons My Son Is Crying.

I hope everyone has a good day and avoids pusslike protrusions. I did it!

Pleasantly percolating,

Penelope

Feeling Peevish

1. Pet Peeve #1.....

I have the most incredible news in the world!!! OH MY GOD! 

(Too bad I can't tell you right now. Maybe later.)

OH MY GOD!


Maybe you should tell me later.

*Penny sharpens her katana with an evil glint in her eye*


2. Pet Peeve #2.....

If one more author/agent/publisher/blogger/reviewer/reader tells the rest of us how to read/write/review/talk/post/rate/grade I will swing my steely katana through the air like a muther f*ckin' ninja on crack and kick some idiotic ass!


3. Pet Peeve #3....

When my dachshund plays with her dinosaur chew toy. The squeaking! The squeaking! Make it stop!

*Penny fantasizes about decapitating dinosaur with large, sharpened sword*



4. Pet Peeve #4......

Hey....let's make a lot of money by encouraging folks to eat super-unhealthy diets and develop diabetes! Great idea!

Here's the thing. Eating deep-fried food isn't good for you. Ever. It's gonna kill you. So, saying "I'll eat deep fried food in moderation" is the equivalent of saying "I'll smoke 7 ciggies a day instead of 14." One way or another, it's still gonna kill ya. Shame on you, Paula Deen.


5. Pet Peeve #5.....

Captains who save their own sorry asses while their luxury cruise liner sinks and innocent people die. I guess the George Clooney-style honorable captains who go down with the ship (A Perfect Storm) are only found in Hollywood? Jay-sus.


6. Pet Peeve #6......

Getting folks addicted to paranormal series with a crack-like intensity, then charging exorbitant amounts of money for the Kindle version. So. Very. Un. Cool.


Still feeling peevish,
Penelope

Penelope Ponders her Plethora of Pet Peeves

Cougar stories.

Cougars, in general.

Over-use of the words c**k and p***y in erotica. Come on people, get a thesaurus!

Over-abundance of ARC reviews. Release day is losing the magic.

Reading PDF files on my Kindle. My eyes! My eyes! Am I blind yet?

Authors who crank out 2000 words/day while I struggle with one freakin' scene. In a week.

When my expectations exceed reality for a new release.

Bunny poop in my front yard.

Bunnies taunting my wiener dog.

Run-away wiener dogs.

Unnecessary repetition in novels. You already told me the heroine is lusting for the hero. Seriously. Like a million times. Kick it down a notch, buddy.

People who take themselves too seriously.

Yellow pine pollen. Gallons and gallons of it everywhere. It's raining yellow baby powder, Mom!

Hijackers on the Amazon boards.

Apologies by high profile cheaters. Just once, I would like to see one of these no-account, skanky man-ho's skip the press conference, the trip to an "undisclosed facility for sex addiction," and media circus and say nothing. Absolutely nothing. Because honestly, there is nothing to say. You're a lyin', cheatin', skanky man-ho. The end.

Hot "trends" in romance. I'm waiting for the gay Amish vampire pirate book. Any day now.

Okay, I can't think of any others at the moment, but I'm thinking I need a big martini right about now! (hee hee...I'm not kidding!). Oh yeah, another pet peeve....restaurants that don't have a good martini menu!

If you have any irritating pet peeves you need to get off your chest, please feel free to leave a comment.

Penelope