Thursday, June 7, 2012

Zombies V Nun: Chapter Three




Zombies V Nun: Chapter Three

Pearl Gets a Mini-Skirt

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As Pearl and Caleb raced to the tower steps, Pearl became aware of an extremely loud ruckus. It was an odd mix of snarls, screeches and shockingly bad harpsichord music. The music room, which was right next to the dormitory, had legions of zombies hanging from the windows. Young nuns, old nuns, fat nuns and skinny nuns. Attempting to play the triangle. Stab things with flutes. Smashing guitars against the stone wall. And it looked like they were eating Mrs. Humperdink (the choral director)’s brains. Frankly, Pearl was surprised that Mrs. Humperdink had any brains. She had placed June Atkins in the mezzo-soprano section, when she was clearly a contralto. Nevertheless, her choir-leading days were now over.

“Good God!”  yelled Caleb. “Sure doesn’t look like The Sound Of Music anymore, does it?”

Sister Anna Johnson flung a clarinet out the window and screeched at the top of her now-dead-and-decaying lungs.

Pearl cringed. “Um, Caleb, I hesitate to point this out….”

Caleb shot her a stern look. “What is it, Pearl? Time’s a-wasting. We need to hurry.” He grabbed her hand as they rushed down the steps.

Pearl pointed to the bottom of the stairs. “I think we have company. And they look hungry.”

Sure enough, at the bottom of the spiral stairs was a horde of snarling zombies clamoring up the tower.
        
“Shit!” Caleb yelled dramatically and they stopped half-way down the steps and reversed direction. “Run, Pearl, run!”

Pearl’s heart nearly stopped as she felt a cold, clammy hand pinch her ankle. She looked down and Sister Amelia’s pudgy green fingers were snagged on the bottom of her skirt. Pearl screamed and walloped the undead sister with her whisk.

“Let….me…..go!” As Pearl wrenched herself free from the gurgling nun, she heard a loud ripping sound. She continued running up the stairs, but Amelia did not let go of her skirt. By the time Pearl made it to the top of the spiral staircase, all she had left of her lovely habit was a barely-there mini-skirt.

Caleb raised a brow in appreciation. “Nice gams, Pearl.”

Pearl smacked him on the shoulder with her potato masher. “Really, Caleb!”

He snickered, but sobered quickly as the zombies approached the top of the staircase. “We gotta get out of here. I have an idea!”

Pearl slipped the potato masher and whisk into her black wool belt and followed Caleb through a window.

“What are we doing?” Pearl whispered hoarsely as they stood on the edge of a balcony overlooking the courtyard.

Caleb pointed to the garage at the other side of the square. “We’re heading there. If we can grab a couple of Vespas, we can make it to the vintner’s cottage. Ready, Pearl?”

She nodded.

And then they jumped……

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Oh my God! What's going to happen? Hee hee......

To read Chapter One, go here.
For Chapter Two, go here.
Chapter Four (Pearl Learns To Use A Chain-Saw) will be up tomorrow.

Ciao!
Penny

6 comments:

caseywyatt.com said...

Love it! Go Penny!

Julia Barrett said...

Ack! Don't leave me hanging, girl! Can't wait for that hacksaw!

Penelope said...

Thank you, Casey.

Penelope said...

Julia....don't worry, there is some hacking on the way!

Tom Stronach said...

Penny, if you come to London and go to a Carlucio restaurant, the last item on every menu is.....

A Vespa type scooter

Loving this story and now that Pearl's legs are on show are we going to 'see' more of her?

Penelope said...

Tom.....I am obsessed with vintage Vespas. My hubs said I am not allowed to get one because I'll kill myself. He thinks I am too uncoordinated to ride it. Which is probably true.