Monday, June 11, 2012

Monday Morning Updates

Photo of flowers from my garden.

1. There are officially 6 and 1/2 days left of school.


2. I have been sick as a dog. Fever, chills, and my throat hurts so badly I want to rip it out and fling it off a bridge.

3. I snuck off one day last week to watch a matinee of The Avengers. Based on the trailer, I was expecting an amazing film. What I got....

* Volume level so loud that I had to stuff toilet paper in my ears to avoid a hospitalization.
* Pacing so slow and uneven I had to stab myself in the eye to keep from nodding off.
* A storyline so ridiculous and confusing, I got the feeling that 14 different people tried to edit the film.
* Teeny tiny bits of excellent and snappy dialogue. Interspersed with hours of boring-ass stuff. Including the action parts! How do you make action sequences boring? I don't know, but they did it.
* 10 million close-up shots of Scarlett Johansson's booty in black leather. Zzzzzzzzz........
* I walked out before the movie was over. I kept waiting for it to get better, but it never did. No amount of special effects (or money) will save a film if the pacing is bad, there is no cohesion, and superficial characterization.
* Avengers final grade: DNF, huge disappointment

Oh look! It's Scarlett Johansson's butt. Again. Snooze!

4. Syfy has finally figured out how to deal with the fact that their made-for-television movies are jokes.

They made them a joke.

Jersey Shore Shark Attack was brilliant! A hilarious spoof on Jersey Shore and all the asinine shark movies made by Syfy. The dialogue was hilarious. The characters were hilarious. The "bad guys" were hilarious....I especially loved the Preppy Boys with their upturned collars! The sharks were super-fake and fantastic. And Joey Fatone got eaten by a shark. Another favorite scene was "Nookie" smacking the fake shark's head with a wooden oar. OMG.....excellent!

Grade: A for Awesomely Cheesy and Hilarious!

5. Yes, I just gave The Avengers an "F" grade and Jersey Shore Shark Attack an "A." You got a problem with that? (said in New Jersey accent)

6. I DNFed a lot of books last week, but I finally found a winner. The Mammoth Book of Ghost Romance, an anthology, is fabulous. I am almost done with coming soon.

7. Thanks to everyone who tuned in for my zombie series last week. This week I'm working on the weenie dog book. Slight change of pace.

Hopefully I'll be feeling better soon and get to a review for the ghost is a really fun and entertaining read.

Happy Monday!