Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Penelope Reads A Ballsy Little Sex Farce


She had me at "well-endowed unicorn."

You all know I have a problem. With wacky book blurbs. It's like a sick, sad addiction, which costs me money and time and occasionally makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a sharp stick. But sometimes, it also makes me think "Hell, this is one ballsy little sex farce."

Let me backtrack....

Once upon a time, I started reading a book blurb, and it said "Honey encounters the hunkalicious Hieney twins, Peter and Dick....." Right off the bat, I'm already hooked. Hieney twins? Peter? And DICK? And the heroine's name is HONEY. I'm screwed. But I'm thinking....NOOOOOO, don't do it...don't do it....

Then I read this... "....meet a sexy well-endowed unicorn." Uh oh. A unicorn. Didn't I swear that I would never never never again buy a book with a unicorn? I did. So, I didn't buy the book.

But I kept thinking about the unicorn. Would Honey actually have sex with a unicorn? Was it a shape-shifter? How would that work exactly?

And then I knew I was lost. It was all the unicorn's fault! So I bought the $2 book, Honeysuckle by Anny Cook. It's actually the second installment of her Flowers of Camelot Series.

Right from the get-go, Cook sets the stage for a totally insane sex farce. This is King Arthur's legend on another planet (really....another planet called Avalon) and the city is called Came-A-Lot (groan!) and all of the characters are insane nymphomaniacs, and there are dragons and unicorns and Robin Hood and flogging and nipple rings and butt plugs and magical islands and.....

Okay. So, it's weird. But the thing is that I have a lot of respect for someone who attempts something this wack. And this is wack. With a capital W. As in Well-Hung Unicorn.

It takes a lot of balls to write something this tongue-in-cheek. And there were a lot of tongues, including long skinny split-fork dragon tongues. And lots of cheeks (butt cheeks). And....

I liked it! So I bought Chrysanthemum (Flowers of Camelot #1) and I liked that one, too.

These books were relatively well-written, packed with double entendres, all kinds of hilarious King Arthur references, pretty steamy sexy time, and even some sweet moments. The plot was all over the place, and often made no sense. But really, who's looking for sense when a giant dragon has kidnapped King Arthur and discovers his mate bathing in a stream, and her name is "Stinky." Well, certainly not me.

The only thing that bothered me was a plethora of inane details, which is one of my pet peeves. Too many details about their plans, what they were eating (a lot of sandwiches) and even copious mentions of potty breaks. I don't care about the characters peeing. At all.

But in spite of all that, the stories were quite entertaining and off-the-charts. And since I appreciate weird stuff, I have a lot of respect for someone attempting a book this ballsy. And frankly, I can't believe that EC published it. This is WAY outside-of-the-box.

Grade: B for the first two installments of the Flowers of Camelot Series by Anny Cook...Chrysanthemum and Honeysuckle.

For anyone looking for a totally nutso interpretation of King Arthur with a bunch of nymphomaniacs, plenty of tongue-in-cheek humor, and a kooky storyline, look no further.


Trying to get back on the "normal" bandwagon,
Penelope

21 comments:

Tom Andrews said...

Yeah, I just can't get enough of this sort of thing. I think Mr. Faulkner once wrote something dealing with unicorns and buttplugs, didn't he?

Oh, wait...no, he didn't.

Tom Andrews said...

:)

Penelope said...

Tom---

In my defense (actually, I really don't have any defense), I am now reading a book about a cancer survivor. So there! I don't just read books about nymphomaniac well-hung unicorns. Rarely. Just a couple of times a year.

anny cook said...

Glad you enjoyed it--even with the plethora of details! And I appreciate the lovely review!

Penelope said...

Hi Anny! That is one ballsy book. As someone who has attempted to write a tongue-in-cheek series about the 5 sexy sons of Santa Claus, I can totally appreciate the humor. Looking forward to reading more of your stories!

Tom Stronach said...

Missy, all I can say is that the unintended consequence of purchasing a Samsung laptop with a water / coffee proof keyboard was worth it....

Your review made me spit my coffee and Sharon who made it for me thought she was in trouble, as she made it and thought she had added sugar or some other horrible substance to it thereby rendering me.... well anyway

Warning NEXT TIME, although I should have known better than to trust you in these matters anyway

xxxxxx

Penelope said...

Hi Tom! The title was the warning. And the first sentence, too, I guess.

:^)

Julia Barrett said...

I had a feeling Anny's brand of kook would be right up your alley! See?

Penelope said...

Thanks, Julia! Yes, I like kooky! It's fun and entertaining and just what the doctor ordered. ;^)

anny cook said...

May I use that phrase, Julia? Anny's Brand of Kook... Hmmmm.

Tasha B. said...

Stop trying to make me buy crazy books! And I'm not paying any attention to that King Arthur reference. Lalalalallaalalaaaa can't heeeeeaaaaaarrrrr yooouuuuu. ;)

Penelope said...

Haaa haaaa, Tasha...You know you want to...laaaaa laaaa laaaa laaaaa laaaaaaa!

Liberty Blake said...

Now I have to read them!

Judy K said...

I am impressed and I also enjoy Anny Cook's writing. I will definitely get these books and have a good time reading them from the sounds of things. Way to go Anny! Judy King

Penelope said...

Hi Liberty! Highly entertaining. Especially if you're sipping a mango martini at the same time. ;^)

Penelope said...

Hi Judy! I'm looking forward to reading more of her books, too.

Amber Skyze said...

I am a fan of Anny's books. :)

Molly Daniels said...

I also love Anny's books; wait til you read Daffodil and Magnolia:)

Tessie Bradford said...

I'm a huge Anny Cook fan!!

Penelope said...

Thanks, Ladies! I'm now on the Anny Cook Bandwagon. ;^)

Fran Lee said...

Snort! Anny writes some roaringly off-the-wall romance, but it is fun to read and leaves you rolling on the floor under the coffee table. Not many writers can pull this stuff off, but Anny can...and how!

Just think...in a few years, Anny Cook will be a cult favorite up there with the Rocky Horror Picture Show and Legend. King Arthur would be rolling in his tomb...with laughter. Love Anny's books!