Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Dear Penelope

Every week, I get a bizarre mix of totally random questions thrown at me via email, Twitter, Facebook, neighbors, etc. So, I thought I would put together a totally random bunch of Dear Penelope questions and answers. Have at it!


Dear Penelope,
Where did you get your dachshund? How big is she? Can she fit on a plane?

Dear Doxie Lover,
We got Lucy from a breeder in Maine, she is about 9.5 pounds, which makes her a true mini (must be under 10 pounds). Yes, I can squeeze her cute little body into a Sherpa bag for travel, and pop her under the seat in front of me. Totally love the Sherpa is the linkie!


Dear Penelope,
Why don't you use your real name to publish?

Dear Curious,
Thanks to my Filipino hubby, I have a last name that is long, melodious, difficult to spell, difficult to pronounce, and hard to remember. Thus, Penny Watson (who sort of sounds like a British bad girl) was born.


Dear Penelope,
What do you think about this book cover?

Dear OH MY GOD!................
*Penny blushes*

Dear Penelope,
How do I add my own book onto my Goodreads author page the right way?

Dear Author,
Great question! Unfortunately, Goodreads does not offer a good way to do this for authors at the moment. It looks bad to add your own book with a rating and/or review. Just add a new bookshelf titled WROTE IT. Then click on that when you add your book. Do NOT rate it or review it. Just leave it with "0" stars. That's fine. 


Dear Penelope,
What's your best gardening tip?

Dear Mrs. Green Thumbs,
Most important color for the garden is.....*drum roll*.....WHITE! Yes, white. It makes all the other colors pop. Don't skimp on white. A big bunch of marguerite daisies is an awesome addition to any garden.


Dear Penelope,
I was wondering if you would review my book which is published on Amazon. I don't think I have included any of your "dislikes"....I had to google POV, didn't know that one.

Dear Published Author,
*brushes away tears of sadness* POV is point of view, and it's probably a good idea to figure out what that means PRIOR to publishing. Sigh.


Dear Penelope,
Why don't you follow me back on Twitter?

Dear Tweeter,
Did you say hi? Introduce yourself? Or are you just tweet-stalking me, a stranger in the night? Say hello and I'll follow back. Unless you are super naughty, offensive, or naked.


Dear Penelope,
I clicked on a link and found your blog. It was totally delightful perusing your place. 

Dear Nikki,
I love the word "perusing." Thank you very much!


Dear Penelope,
Have you seen this?

Dear Bobbi Baby,

Dear Penelope,
Is it okay to rate/review my friend's book?

Dear Bud,
This is a GREAT question. My short answer....if you sincerely, genuinely loved your pal's book, it's okay to give her a good rating. Don't lie. Longer answer....If you ONLY review your friends' books, and no one else, you look like a shill. If you have a "reciprocal" thing going with other indie authors---you give me 5 stars, and I'll give you 5 stars---then, no, that's not okay. Be honest and fair, don't try to manipulate "the system" (Amazon, Goodreads, etc).


Those are just a smattering of the sorts of questions I get every day from various friends, strangers and probably long-lost relatives. Hope all of you are having a random and entertaining day.

All my best,


Hannah Fielding said...

What an eclectic mix of questions! Your answers made me smile :)

Ella Drake said...

Deer Pentelope,
Could yous help me with my writing? Yours is so eloquint.

Penelope said...

Hi Hannah! A smile a know!

Penelope said...

Deare Ella, Ewe just need SpellChecque and u will bee fine. Goode luk with thatt. Luv,Penelope

Kaetrin said...

Oh good gravy! I totally thought that book was called "Highland Lawn"!!! (I thought, well, that's a new name for a BJ!!). :D

Penelope said...

Kaetrin! Good gravy is right! Ack! Ack! Ack! *Penny runs around in circles*

Oddmonster said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Oddmonster said...

@Kaetrin: I am so calling bjs "strolls across the Highland Lawn" now. zomg.

(edited to spell your name right once I found my glasses :)

Penelope said...

Oddmonster and Kaetrin....OK. I just realized that the real title is Highland Pawn, not Lawn. I thought it was Lawn, too. Problems with this book cover...

1. Pawn looks like Lawn
2. Dude looks prepubescent.
3. The obvious "BJ" reference.
4. It looks like they are floating in the middle of a lake, which is conjuring up "Excalibur" for me.
5. The kilt looks like a flannel blanket from Target.

Here is the book link...

I must admit I do like this turn of phrase in the book blurb..."maidenhead ripe for the plucking." said...

Delightful, Ms. Watson, delightful!

Hey, did you change your blogger settings? The name/URL choice is gone. Started yesterday afternoon sometime!

Penelope said...

Hi Casey! I removed the "anyone can comment" thing that includes anonymous commenters, bec. I was getting so much spam since I turned off captcha. Is it more difficult to leave comments now? If so, I'll change it back. Please let me know! Thanks!

Kwana said...

This post was fantastic! What great questions and answers.

Julia Barrett said...

Dear Penelope, Can you write this column more often?
Pretty please with sugar on top? said...

I agree with Julia! This is great. More please.

I'm okay leaving comments for now. Sometimes blogger can't deal with my wordpress ID. I'll let you know if I have problems. I don't want you to be spammed on my behalf.

Penelope said...

Thanks, Kwana! I can't wait to read your book...when's the release day?

Penelope said...

Dear Julia, I would be happy to. Especially since I get so many wacky questions every week.

With sugar, chocolate sauce, and a cherry on top,

Penelope said...

Hi Casey! Just let me know. If you are having trouble, then other wordpress folks probably are, too. I am trying to make it easier to leave comments, not harder. Ugh!

Tasha B. said...

Dear Penelope, now that you've explained POV, could you tell me what a plot is? I'm not sure if my book has one. ;)

Tom Stronach said...

Oh Penelope! absolutely spot on as Jules says; we NEED MORE .
At least a weekly Q & A session

Wonderful, Wonderful Penelope

Q. How do you make a Scotsman come quickly?

A. Drop a £5.00 (pound note) in front of him and he will come across the street faster than a speeding bullet to pick it up.....

Filthy Minds you lot

Penelope said...

Haaaaaa, Tasha. Very funny. I'm not posting all of the review requests I get (we would be here all day), but suffice it to say that many of them have typos/grammatical errors/make no sense. Sad panda!

Penelope said...

Tom, love that joke! Ba dum bum!