Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Feeling Peevish

1. Pet Peeve #1.....

I have the most incredible news in the world!!! OH MY GOD! 

(Too bad I can't tell you right now. Maybe later.)


Maybe you should tell me later.

*Penny sharpens her katana with an evil glint in her eye*

2. Pet Peeve #2.....

If one more author/agent/publisher/blogger/reviewer/reader tells the rest of us how to read/write/review/talk/post/rate/grade I will swing my steely katana through the air like a muther f*ckin' ninja on crack and kick some idiotic ass!

3. Pet Peeve #3....

When my dachshund plays with her dinosaur chew toy. The squeaking! The squeaking! Make it stop!

*Penny fantasizes about decapitating dinosaur with large, sharpened sword*

4. Pet Peeve #4......

Hey....let's make a lot of money by encouraging folks to eat super-unhealthy diets and develop diabetes! Great idea!

Here's the thing. Eating deep-fried food isn't good for you. Ever. It's gonna kill you. So, saying "I'll eat deep fried food in moderation" is the equivalent of saying "I'll smoke 7 ciggies a day instead of 14." One way or another, it's still gonna kill ya. Shame on you, Paula Deen.

5. Pet Peeve #5.....

Captains who save their own sorry asses while their luxury cruise liner sinks and innocent people die. I guess the George Clooney-style honorable captains who go down with the ship (A Perfect Storm) are only found in Hollywood? Jay-sus.

6. Pet Peeve #6......

Getting folks addicted to paranormal series with a crack-like intensity, then charging exorbitant amounts of money for the Kindle version. So. Very. Un. Cool.

Still feeling peevish,