Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Update for Amazon Romance Community Members

In response to an inordinately high number of consumer suggestions, Amazon is implementing the following changes to our Romance Community Message Boards, effectively immediately.....

1.) We have added a "wackadoodle" button to the posts. Any member who accumulates in excess of 50 "wackadoodle" votes will have mental health self-help books added to his/her book suggestion list.

2.) We are abolishing censorship with regards to cuss words... as long as * buttons are included in said words. For example, c*ck-s*ck*r would be appropriate. However, if the stars are omitted, the word will be blacked out on the screen.

3.) Similar to Goodreads, pop-up boxes will now appear before posting. After checking "author" or "reader" the following terms of agreement will appear. Please check the box next to I Agree, or No Freakin' Way before continuing to the message boards.

(A) For "authors".... "I do solemnly swear not to pimp my books, regardless of origin of publication (independent digital format, traditional publishing house, or skanky erotica e-publisher)."

A scarlet "A" will appear next to your screen name to identify you as an author. These terms may also appear underneath the screen name... Indie, Trad, Skank.

(B) For "readers"..... "I do solemnly swear not to confuse the words 'heroin' or 'heroine' in my posts."
A scarlet "R" will appear next to your screen name to identify you as a reader. Any reader who abuses the English language excessively (misspelled words, incorrect grammar, lack of subject/verb agreement) will have the term "Illit" for "illiterate" appear beneath your screen name.

After agreeing to these terms, you will be permitted to post on any thread within the community. Rude, obnoxious behavior, name-calling, mud-slinging, and general pandemonium are still permitted.

4.) Due to overwhelming confusion as to terms and emoticons, an index will now be available to help clarify these words. Ex: Shill, troll, DIK, :^O, etc.

5.) Amazon will not permit members to change their screen names to BDB-inspired monikers. (See "Black Dagger Brotherhood" in the aforementioned index). For example, Linda to Lhinda, Jenny to Jhenny, etc. We are unable to accommodate the high volume of requests for these changes at this time.

The Powers That Be At Amazon