Monday, June 11, 2012

Monday Morning Updates


Photo of flowers from my garden.



1. There are officially 6 and 1/2 days left of school.

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. I have been sick as a dog. Fever, chills, and my throat hurts so badly I want to rip it out and fling it off a bridge.


3. I snuck off one day last week to watch a matinee of The Avengers. Based on the trailer, I was expecting an amazing film. What I got....

* Volume level so loud that I had to stuff toilet paper in my ears to avoid a hospitalization.
* Pacing so slow and uneven I had to stab myself in the eye to keep from nodding off.
* A storyline so ridiculous and confusing, I got the feeling that 14 different people tried to edit the film.
* Teeny tiny bits of excellent and snappy dialogue. Interspersed with hours of boring-ass stuff. Including the action parts! How do you make action sequences boring? I don't know, but they did it.
* 10 million close-up shots of Scarlett Johansson's booty in black leather. Zzzzzzzzz........
* I walked out before the movie was over. I kept waiting for it to get better, but it never did. No amount of special effects (or money) will save a film if the pacing is bad, there is no cohesion, and superficial characterization.
* Avengers final grade: DNF, huge disappointment

Oh look! It's Scarlett Johansson's butt. Again. Snooze!


4. Syfy has finally figured out how to deal with the fact that their made-for-television movies are jokes.

They made them a joke.

Jersey Shore Shark Attack was brilliant! A hilarious spoof on Jersey Shore and all the asinine shark movies made by Syfy. The dialogue was hilarious. The characters were hilarious. The "bad guys" were hilarious....I especially loved the Preppy Boys with their upturned collars! The sharks were super-fake and fantastic. And Joey Fatone got eaten by a shark. Another favorite scene was "Nookie" smacking the fake shark's head with a wooden oar. OMG.....excellent!

Grade: A for Awesomely Cheesy and Hilarious!



5. Yes, I just gave The Avengers an "F" grade and Jersey Shore Shark Attack an "A." You got a problem with that? (said in New Jersey accent)

6. I DNFed a lot of books last week, but I finally found a winner. The Mammoth Book of Ghost Romance, an anthology, is fabulous. I am almost done with it....review coming soon.

7. Thanks to everyone who tuned in for my zombie series last week. This week I'm working on the weenie dog book. Slight change of pace.


Hopefully I'll be feeling better soon and get to a review for the ghost book.....it is a really fun and entertaining read.

Happy Monday!
Penelope

22 comments:

KB/KT Grant said...

You didn't like the Avengers? *gasp*. Not even Thor's mighty hammer?

caseywyatt.com said...

Beautiful flowers Penny! I hope you feel better. I'm bummed you didn't enjoy The Avengers. I loved it.

Penelope said...

Hi Kate! I wish Thor had been in the movie more....even his one "funny" line didn't work...it fell flat. Not even Thor's mighty hammer could save that dudley do-right of a movie.

Penelope said...

Hi Casey! I know....I seem to be in the minority. Most folks loved this movie. But I was seriously underwhelmed. They kept separating the group....the best scenes highlighted the group dynamics and interactions. I honestly think the biggest problem is that there was not enough time to explore each character individually, and then get them together to work as a team. Not enough time to do that in a 2+ hour movie. Just too superficial.

Juju at Tales of Whimsy.com said...

Get well soon and thanks for the warning on Avengers. Sounds like a rental.

Tom Stronach said...

AW baby, hope you get well soon, loving the flowers from the garden - lovin you too -

I am a die hard superhero comic fan and I have liked all the movies I am just tippexin over the screen your absurd comments (though haven't seen it yet - oh shit can't read some of the rest of the post now - hang on till I get the tippex remover --

Loved last weeks story
Loved weenies - broiled with mustard
Jersey Shores - no idea what this is, but looking fwd to seing Jersey Boys show in West end with you know who

DId I say

LOVIN YOU - CARRERSSING THROAT

XXXXX

Penelope said...

Hi Juju! Rent Strictly Ballroom instead. :^)

Penelope said...

Hi Tom! Here is link for Jersey Shore Shark Attack....

http://www.syfy.com/movies/jersey_shore_shark_attack

I know your life will be complete after you watch that trailer!

Thanks....I am feeling a bit better today!

Tom Stronach said...

Buggers, 'This content is currently unavailable'

I shall revisit

xxxxxx

Ren said...

Aww, I hope you feel better, Penny *hugs*

I just sent the link to my co-workers lol

http://youtu.be/ekqPEd_HF0w

Julia Barrett said...

You're right, not even Thor's mighty hammer and Tony Stark's snark could save this movie.

And thank you for saying that about her butt! If I was forced to look at her butt one more time.... I just don't know what I would have done! And it's so tough to fight in 6" heels and shoot at supersonic villains with your little pistols! GMAFB! Tom will probably like her butt.

The writers borrowed from so many movies. Unbelievable! I was really looking forward to The Avengers. And BTW, could Captain America be any more whiny? And how come his face looks like it's made of clay?

Penelope said...

Hi Ren! OMG....the trailer is almost as good as the movie!

Penelope said...

Hi Julia! Not only were the butt shots irritating and over-done, but did you notice she looked REALLY uncoordinated and unathletic when she walked. I wasn't buying her as a bad-ass spy at all. She walks like a big dork. No matter how nice your ass is, if you walk like a dork, you don't look like a super-hero.

lemonverbenalady said...

Sometimes Penny, the only good part of the movie is the trailer. When The Herbal Husband leans over and says what do you think. I usually say I have already seen it and I don't want to see the rest! Hope you get better quick and don't jump off a bridge. You may feel like you're in an action movie! Hey, maybe you could make a better one, Penny. Have fun working on the weenie dog book. It will cheer you up! xxoo Nancy

Penelope said...

Hi Nancy! The trailer was def. the best part. I got a new revised version of the weenie dog book done today, and a new mock-up. Yay! It did get me in a good mood!

Julia Barrett said...

Pen - she's gorgeous but not athletic. Watch her run in Match Point by Woody Allen. OMG! No, super spy material she's not. Seduction material she is in droves. Plus it's dang hard to do anything in boots with such high heels.

JenM said...

Hi Penny, I read a book review today and immediately thought of you. The review was about a book is called Here Comes Peter by CJ England and apparently it's about a randy, shape shifting Easter rabbit. Seriously. Hope you are feeling better. I loved last week's story, by the way.

Lindsay Kiernan said...

Got to ask, did you watch any of the pre-movies before you went to the Avengers? I have a theory that everyone who went to the movie and enjoyed it walked in already having a 'favorite' of the crew that they wanted to see the new movie for. Being a historical nut with a thing for the goody-two-shoes guy...Captain America and his darling line, "There's only one God, ma'am. And I don't think He dresses like that" did it for me. Yum!

On the other hand I was the ONLY person at the hotel who didn't know the Jersey Shore guy when he came to stay at our hotel about a month ago. The other girls couldn't believe that my only opinion was that his pants looked like a little girls pair.

Suppose that we will have to agree to disagree here! What we can agree on is that I hope you feel better very soon!

Penelope said...

Hi Jen! Thanks for the wacky recommendation. You know I can't resist a randy shape-shifting Easter bunny. Thanks for reading my zombie series! :^)

Penelope said...

Hi Lindsay! I saw Thor, Iron Man and part of The Hulk. Didn't get to Captain America. I thought Thor and Iron Man were also surprisingly slow-paced and boring. (My hubs agreed).

I have never watched the Jersey Shore, but I knew enough about it to appreciate the spoof.

So far the only super-hero movies I really loved are the Batman series and Spiderman. I'm a tough customer!

Lindsay Kiernan said...

I see, totally understand being picky. I get accused of that a lot. That said I get a kick out of many comic book movies. I'd say that Hellboy is my fav but mostly because I loved reading the stories first. Batman gets a thums up (mostly) but Spidy never did it for me, that said I'll try the newest remake this summer.

mya said...

I truly love that show. I grew up with my dad going on and on about how good Frankie was and I'm so glad he did. I too have searched endlessly for a biography of sorts for them, but never found anything worthwhile.

As for Jersey Boys, I have seen it in San Francisco while tickets were cheap.. and London and both were amazing nights.