The Pumpkin After The Storm

We survived the hurricane with very little damage. A few branches down...that's it. In the meantime, my garden has gone to the dark side. It has escaped the confines on my little white fence, and is now spilling over onto the sidewalk. Morning glories, tomatoes, and gigantic pumpkin vines are all living in peace and harmony, like some crazed mutant plant. I even have mini pumpkins developing on the sidewalk....

I am expecting that at some point, a person who is walking his dog will see the insane pumpkin patch and start helping himself to the cornucopia. Free pumpkins for everyone!

My mom's visit is over. ☹ We have enjoyed apple picking, shopping, a visit to the plant nursery, and looking over old photo albums....

School starts in about a week....woo hoo! I'm sad to see summer vacation over, but I'll be glad to get back to writing. Here is a tiny snippet of a botanically-inspired paranormal romance I am writing called L'Araldo Di Primavera....enjoy!

Twenty years ago....

            When Flora LaGuarda was five years old, she discovered an overgrown, weed-infested garden hidden behind her Papa's tool shed. A rusty gate creaked open as she approached, which she found quite welcoming and polite. Vines of bittersweet tugged at her anklets and milkweed pods exploded, showering her with silky fluff. She touched a thorny rose, and all at once the baby buds swelled, then burst, releasing a heady fragrance. Within seconds magenta blooms weighed heavily on the bush, the lush flower heads nodding in the sunshine. Flora turned to find Papa behind her, leaning thoughtfully on a rake.

            "Hmm," he said.

            "Hmm," she replied.

            He pulled off his faded Red Sox cap and scratched the small scrub of hairs on the top of his head. "Well, looks like you got a green thumb, Flora LaGuarda. Just like your Grandma." He slapped the hat across one thigh, dislodging a cloud of dust, then set it back on his head and nodded to her. "Time for lunch."

            Flora ran out of the garden, leaving a path of lush green growth in her wake. The gate banged shut behind her, and a clump of moss fell from the sign at the top. L'Araldo di Primavera it read.

***

Ciao!

Penelope

And A Happy, Beardy Morning To You!

From the Boston Globe, Sunday August 28, 2011....."Sam Worthington: Actor Wants To Be Much More Than The Quiet Action Hero" by Lynda Gorov.....

"He's chatty and freckly, and, well, hairy. Wildly hairy. Chin-length shag. Thick reddish beard. Neck, chest, forearms, hands, all covered in hair."



Feeling wildly fantastic about bearded Aussie actors,
Penelope

In Ecstasy Over Etsy

I appear to have developed a wee little shopping problem, courtesy of Etsy, the most kick-ass online shopping site in the world. (Thanks a lot, Heather).

Anyhoo, in case you haven't discovered this incredible spot, I will pass on the unhealthy addiction. Here you go..... Etsy

Penelope's Top 10 Coolest Etsy Discoveries For The Week!

1. Japanese paper-wrapped pencils....great for back-to-school!

2. Glass pumpkin

3. Weenie Dog Coin Purse

4. Beautiful necklace by Lindsay, aspiring romance writer!

5. Block print of old-timey typewriter

6. Beer soap

7. Your Beard Is Good Key Chain

8. Funky cover for your Kindle!

9. Fantabulous Bag! Love this!

10. Romantic Earrings

Happy Shopping!

Penelope

Penelope's New Inspiration: Liam The Lumberjack

Thanks to my diabolical friend Heather, I am now the proud owner of Liam The Lumberjack. This sweet little dude was an Etsy purchase, from the LicoriceWits shop. Note the fine beard/stache combo, curly chest hair poking through his plaid shirt, and friendly owl. Also note (see below) his cute tushy.

I'm going to re-decorate my office and use Liam as inspiration. I was so inspired by all the lumberjacky items at Etsy, I made my own collection, For Girls Who Love Lumberjacks. See it here. 

Happy Plaid Wednesday,

Penelope

What I Learned Over Summer Vacation: The Meaning Of Life

Summer is almost over. I managed to pack in three vacations, a visit with Mom, a nervous break-down, cleaned the garage, read some fun books, and got a bumper crop of pumpkins. You're probably wondering how the whole mid-life crisis thing is going. Well, it's going pretty well as a matter of fact. I finally figured out the meaning of life, which has two parts.

1. Live In The Moment.

2. Get A Williams-Sonoma Panini-Maker.

I know this sounds odd, but bear with me. Let's start with #1. Initially, I was convinced that the answer to my mid-life crisis was something huge and monumental. I needed to go to Alaska and see a glacier. I needed a vintage Porsche sports-car with racing stripes. I wanted to move to Hawaii and live in a grass hut on the beach. I was mulling over these options on the day I decided to take my daughter to an organic farm to pick flowers. It was a sunny and gorgeous New England summer day. Breezy and light. And my daughter and her friend ran around a field of luscious flowers, laughing and singing and dancing with the butterflies. (See post for photos).

I stood watching them, and I found that I had tears streaming down my face. I realized something profound. I didn't need to go to the Great Wall Of China, or see a volcano in Hawaii, or buy an over-priced sports car to feel better. I just needed to focus on the small things. Really focus. Instead of thinking about my to-do list for the day, or the fact that my car registration was expired, or that I had a mound of laundry to fold on my bed.

Live in the moment. Enjoy the breeze and the sunshine. Go pick flowers with my daughter. And not rush her. Not rush us. Enjoy that simple moment because that's what life really is. Not the big moments, which are wonderful and exciting, and definitely have their place in our lives. But more importantly, the small moments we have each and every day. The ones we miss because we are too busy picking up the dry-cleaning. Most of our lives are the small moments. And taking the time to enjoy them, savor them, appreciate them, is a gift we should embrace.

After making that profound observation, I decided to put my new attitude into action. When my daughter asked me to stop at the pet store on the way home from camp--for absolutely no good reason--instead of automatically saying "No...sorry honey I have to get home to cook dinner," I said...."Yes." She was delighted. We meandered around the pet store, visiting with the turtles and puppies and finches and frogs. That night we had pizza for dinner.

When my husband said "Let's go to Newport for the day" I didn't answer "No, I have too many chores, and what about the dog, and the drive is too long" instead we jumped in the car and drove to the beach and had a blast with the kids and the neighbors were happy to walk our dog. I was being spontaneous. This was something new and different and sort of scary.

When I complained about my hideous commute into Boston this summer, while driving my son to his camp, my husband said "Try to enjoy it." Enjoy it? So with both kids in the car, fighting traffic on Huntington Avenue, we played the license plate game. And people-watched. And picked out our dream cars. And God Christ Almighty, I actually did like it.

And after I signed up Natty for soccer and skating, and Cristian for swimming, I decided I wanted to take a class, too. So I'm taking stained glass window design, and a glass-blowing workshop this fall. Me. Taking a class for fun. And Natty and I are taking a cooking class together....Dessert Party. Hee hee.

Which brings me to Part #2 of The Meaning Of Life. The Williams-Sonoma Panini Maker. If I'm living in the moment, and making chocolate brownies with Natty, how am I supposed to cook dinner and do the laundry and take care of all of the mundane details of life that suck the joy out of my day and crush me under a to-do list from hell? Well, I decided I have one hour a day to do that shit. One hour. That's it. Pay bills, make the beds. Whatever. After that, if I want to take a yoga class or write a romance novel, or play with the weenie dog, then that's what I'm going to do.

And the undisputed answer to this dilemma is the Williams-Sonoma Panini Maker! I shit you not! It's the greatest invention of all time. I can make dinner for the whole family in five minutes. I can make breakfast sammies, lunch for the kids and neighbors and a quick dinner before swim practice. Veggie sammies with grilled vegetables and fresh basil from the garden and yummy melted cheese. Plain old grilled cheese for the kids. Carnivorous stuff for the hubs. I use that damned appliance every single day and it rocks. Anything that saves me time and still provides a nutritious meal for the family frees me up to do fun stuff. And it's all guilt-free.

So, that's what I learned over summer vacation. How about you?

Penelope

Consistency In World-Building: Don't Mess With True Love, Sucka

I've been pondering the strong opinions folks have concerning JR Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood series, and why there are such feelings of betrayal by some of its readers. When this series started out, it created some rabid, truly enamored fans (I was one of them). But over the course of time, some folks got very disgruntled (me included). Some people felt the series had jumped from romance to urban fantasy. Some folks felt the heroes were getting gypped by being paired with wishy-washy heroines. Some folks were pissed with inconsistencies with time lines and world-building details.

My introduction to paranormal romance was Christine Feehan. I read the entire Dark series in chronological order. Some readers totally dig the caveman mentality/lifemate thing, and some readers think she is way too melodramatic and over-the-top. But one thing I'll say for Christine is that she is consistent. Those damned Carpathians have one lifemate, and that's it. They don't turn gay half-way into the story. They don't have menages. They don't identify a lifemate, then walk away. From the very first book, Dark Prince, she sets up her world-building details for this race and she sticks to her guns for the whole damned series. (Which is 22 books long so far). This concept of having one lifemate, for all of eternity (they are immortal) is incredibly romantic. Which is why I suspect most of her fans love these books. It's not for the bloody vampire fights, for Christ's sake. It's because no matter what else is going on in the world, our lives, the book, we know that the male hero of her story will move heaven and earth to be with his mate, to protect her, to love her. Period.

When the Brotherhood series started, it had that same vibe about "mates"....the heroes became obsessed with their mates, released yummy smelling scents (hee hee), fed them by hand, worshipped them, etc. There are definitely more layers of complexity and gray areas in the Ward series, but the fact that a very basic world-building detail (indisputable mating of one male vampire to the heroine) has been bobbling around, is a problem. A very big problem. Because romance fans want something they can count on. Even if it's a big-ass, scarred vampire with a tortuous past loving his mate beyond anything else in this world. We can get through the torture, the pain and suffering, because we know in the end, the hero will find his salvation through love with his mate.

I don't have a problem with series growing and changing over the course of time. Some of Feehan's heroes have been beta males, some are warriors and some are not, some are brutally dominant, some are more thoughtful. But the basic premise for the Carpathian people....one lifemate, no cheating, no second chances....stays consistent throughout the series. It's the glue that holds it together, and why Feehan fans remain steadfastly loyal. If you create a paranormal series with certain world-building details, and your readers totally buy into that whole thing, then you can't start messing around with it. Cause folks will be all.....what the....????

By the way, Feehan's 22nd installment of the Dark Series, Dark Predator, is coming out Sept. 6. Zacarias' story!

Here's hoping everyone has a super-duper weekend!
Penelope

Sexy Cajun, Mackenzie Ragin', and Spanky Pagin': Three Super Quickie Reviews

The Red Hot Cajun by Sandra Hill

Genre: Contemporary Romance

The bad: The ending was a bit too fast, story slightly overstuffed.

The good: Sexy, delicious hero, hilarious Cajun family, loved the awesome romantic ending and epilogue. Made me feel like I was in the steamy bayou!

Grade: A-


The Many Sins of Lord Cameron by Jennifer Ashley

Genre: Historical Romance

The bad: No real plot, just ridiculous storyline involving a love letter from the queen.

The good: Fabulous characters, especially Cam, another kick-ass Mackenzie brother; a sexy and emotional story. Jennifer Ashley excels at not only creating wonderful heroes, but also strong, interesting heroines. I love that! Bravo!

Grade: A-


Operation: Spank Me by Christina James

Genre: Erotic Romance

The bad: Way too much sex! Book could have been easily 50% shorter. Terms like "drenched p*ssy" used repeatedly.

The good: Surprisingly engaging story. Loved the Vermonty stuff, loved the roses, the story was compelling and sweet. A nice happy ending, although a bit rushed.

Grade: B


All my best,
Penelope

You're Reading What?

You're reading.....

....a novel? How embarrassing. Don't tell anyone. Scandalous, I tell you.

....popular fiction? Really. That's rather lowbrow don't you think?

.....romance? Bodice rippers? Ha! What a bunch of crap!

.....an erotic story? Oh my God! That's pornographic. Certainly not "real" fiction.

....BDSM/menage/slash stories? That's unnatural. Perverse. No worthwhile publisher would consider that.

....an e-book? How cheesy. Those aren't real books.

....something published by a small, independent publisher? If it's not out of New York, it doesn't count.

....a self-published book? Any loser can do that. It has no value.


Pondering the prevalence of pompous comments on the internet and over the course of history,
Penelope

Operation: Popovers!

Thanks to recently reading the book Operation: Spank Me, I am now using this expression constantly. Operation: Clean the garage! Operation: Cook dinner! Operation: Walk the dog! 


........help....me......must.....stop.......


Anyhow, for today's "Operation" my daughter and I are gearing up for Operation: Popovers. The one brief, shining, sunny moment during our vacation to Acadia was at the Jordan Pond. After a quick nature walk, we enjoyed the delicious popovers at the Jordan Pond House Restaurant. Of course, I quickly ordered a popover pan from Amazon, and today we are going to attempt to bake these delicious treats. Hopefully they won't sink like the Titanic.


I'm trying this very simple recipe from Allrecipes.com.....


Ingredients

• 2 eggs
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cup milk
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F (230 degrees C). Grease and flour six 6-ounce custard cups.
2. In a medium bowl beat eggs slightly, Beat in flour, milk and salt until just smooth; being careful not to overbeat. Fill custard cups 1/2 full.
3. Bake at 450 degrees F (230 degrees C) for 20 minutes. Decrease oven temperature to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) and bake for 20 minutes more. Immediately remove from cups and serve piping hot.

Commence.....Operation: Popovers!


ETA: Operation: Popovers was a big success! Here is our basket of goodies....

Nom, nom, nom.

Ciao!
Penny

How Do We Feel About "Make-Over" Romance Novels?

I read a few books over vacation, and one of them was Too Perfect by Julie Ortolon. A formerly chubby slightly agoraphobic woman gets "stranded" on a tropical island and becomes a housekeeper for a reclusive man who refuses to be seen. Just to win a bet with her friends. Sure, that sounds....totally plausible. Anyhoo, the "recluse" is actually a big, jaded Hollywood star who is gorgeous and sexy. Since we can't have a frumpy, chubby girl get the hottie guy, said girl undergoes a transformation....transformation.....transformation....(imagine "Slim" from A Bug's Life is saying this part, which should be easy if you have kids and watched that movie 10 million times).

Needless to say, Chubby Girl gets a make-over by Hollywood Dude aka French Dude With A Fake Goatee aka The Recluse. Gone are the big, baggy clothes, replaced with bright colorful shirts with parrot motifs, chunky jewelry, and hair loosely piled on her head instead of pulled back in a tight bun. Because nothing says New And Improved Sexy Girl like a parrot motif.

(Yeah, I'm being sort of sarcastic here but as soon as I read "parrot motif" I got thrown out of the story.)

So, as I'm reading this, I'm thinking.....(A) Make-over books are sort of irritating, and (B) If I was getting a make-over and someone made me wear a shirt with effin parrots on it, I would be seriously pissed off, and (C) Why can't the chubby girl get the hottie guy?

There is something inherently romantic about a mousy little thing transformed into Cinderella for a night. But there is also something distressing about it, too. Can't a mousy little thing be beautiful, appealing, sexy, loved? Do we really need clunky jewelry or mascara for men to find us attractive? Who the hell finds parrots sexy? (Maybe a zookeeper or something?) The point is, I think the "make-over" theme in romance novels is pretty juvenile....it seems like the kind of thing a teenager would like. Teens, who spend millions of dollars on hair products and make-up and accessories and shoes with sparkles on them. I am hoping that adults have realized there are more important things than soft, wispy tendrils of hair falling seductively around one's face. And I would surely, surely hope that a hero would realize it, too. Even if the heroine is slightly chubby, or wears drab clothes, hopefully he could see past that and find her kind, generous, funny, sweet and lovely personality a big win. Because otherwise, he's looking pretty shallow.

The hero in this book is actually pretty cool. He does recognize that the heroine is genuine and wonderful, even without the bird-inspired apparel. As far as contemporary romance novels go, this is a cute book, although the make-over details were definitely overdone. (Grade: B+)

How do you feel about "make-over" books? Love them? Hate them? Do they make you feel inadequate about your own style, which may be sadly lacking in parrot shirts?

Happy Monday To All!
Penny

A Matching Quiz From Penelope

For a quick weekly summary from Penelope, please take this matching quiz. Thank you very much.


1. Jo Jo            

2. The Many Sins of Lord Cameron              

3. Cadillac Mountain      

4. Too Perfect       

5. Daughter's unfortunate discovery on lobster boat in Kennebunkport            

6. Sentence most repeated by 13 year old son during vacation week in Maine        

7. Sentence most repeated by 8 year old daughter during vacation week in Maine      

8. Favorite activities during vacation        

9. Wackiest news of the week  

10. Operation Spank Me



A. "What's for dessert?" (#7)

B. Dead fish found floating at top of tank when we returned home from vacation (#1)

C. Excellent historical romance with no real plot to speak of, but wonderful characters (#2)

D. Riding go-carts and playing mini-golf (#8)

E. Evidently, a nice mountain in Acadia; wouldn't know, since it was completely obscured by fog (#3)

F. Cute contemporary romance with extended make-over for heroine, including a shirt with a "parrot" on it (ugh!) (#4)

G. It's a bad idea to eat Doritos before getting seasickness (#5)

H. My sis got married unexpectedly, on my anniversary! Yay! (#9)

I. Embarrassingly-titled erotica I hid on my Kindle (#10)

J. "Does this place have wi fi?" (#6)



So, I'm back from vacation. I read 3 books (mini reviews to come later). Some things didn't work out so well (dead fish, seasickness, rain and fog at Acadia), and some things were wonderful (hanging out with the family).

Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Penny

See You Later, Alligator!

I'm off for my Maine adventure! We are doing a coastal exploration, and stopping at Kennebunkport, Camden, Mt Desert Island, Freeport and Portland. It's been 15 years since I was in Acadia. I can't wait!

See yinz all in a week or so.

Happy Summer Days!
Penelope

Frat Boyz R Us: Shelly Laurenston's Paranormal Furballs

I think it's pretty apparent why shapeshifters and romance became a successful genre. There is something inherently sexy and domineering and elemental about a wild beast. Strip away the humanity, and what you have left is a being who thinks about eating and survival and sex and protecting his pack and loved ones. There is nothing sexier than an intense, mysterious werewolf claiming its mate (oh, how I love you Vane Kattalakis).

I love serious, intense shapeshifters (Sherrilyn Kenyon). I love funny shapeshifters (Molly Harper). I love steampunky shapeshifters (Gail Carriger). And I especially love Scottish shapeshifters tortured by vampires (Kresley Cole). But for some strange reason, I am not getting the whole Shelly Laurenston thing.

I know folks who absolutely adore this author, but I couldn't stand the first two books I read by her. Beast Behaving Badly was a bad introduction to the Pride series. I thought Blayne was a horrible heroine--irritating and hyper. There were too many confusing characters and I didn't get the humor.  Pack Challenge (Magnus Pack series) was even worse. I hated the hero, the heroine, and all of their friends. I didn't find cussing, slapping, and constant insults funny, nor did I find it sexy or romantic.

I just finished reading The Mane Squeeze (Pride series #4) and I really enjoyed this story. (I will get back to that review in a moment.) But it finally dawned on me what is totally bizarre about these books.

In a nutshell, it's Animal House. With real animals.

All of the characters act like drunken fraternity brothers. The guys. The girls. Their parents. Their grandparents. And I'm not talking about one of those geeky fraternities where the guys wear glasses and are computer geniuses. I'm talking about John Belushi-style fraternity boys, waking up in a pile of their own vomit and drool, and wearing underwear on their head. The animals in Laurenston's books act like a bunch of immature, idiotic fraternity boys. They party. They slap each other around. They cuss and insult each other. They resort to violence in short order. And the girls are actually worse than the guys! Even the parents act like imbeciles. Honestly, I think Laurenston is giving the animal kingdom a bad rap. Real animals behave better than most of these losers.

Now, it could be funny I suppose. Some folks find these very humorous. But I keep waiting for a real grown-up to show up. They never do.

I think one of the reasons I really enjoyed The Mane Squeeze is that it has a lot more subtlety than the other two I read. The hero is a sweet beta bear, and the heroine is not as unlikable as the other heroines. The over-the-top antics are still here, but slightly toned back, and the humor was perfect. I did laugh out loud more than once.

Strangely, I loved Blayne in this story. She is still hyper and weird, but also charming and sweetly loyal to her friend. Too bad those qualities didn't dominate her own book. However, I still found the number of characters overwhelming, the complicated family structures confusing, and the politics of all the different packs difficult to understand. On the plus side, I love that Laurenston has Asian characters and black characters and hybrid characters, and deals with the bigotry and intolerance they experience.

I'm glad I finally read a Laurenston book I liked, but I think I'm done with her series. I can only take Animal House in small doses, and I like my shapeshifters a bit more dignified and sexy. (Playing with one's toes is cute and goofy, but not so high up on the sexy meter.) I'm sure the Shelly Laurenston fans are going to let me have it. Bring it on. I can take it. I already got slammed by a JD Robb fanatic at Bertucci's and I lived to tell the tale.

Struggling with a strange urge to do a beer bong,
Penelope

Second Chances

"We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance."



Guess who uttered these words of wisdom? Gandhi? The Dalai Lama?

Nope, it was Harrison Ford.
Really.


Today, August 3, 2011 is the one year anniversary of my heart attack. The day I got a second chance.


I would like to thank my son who held my hand while I waited for the ambulance to arrive.
I would like to thank the Needham Massachusetts fire department and police department, who saved my life.
I would like to thank everyone at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston who took care of me and fixed up my faulty heart.
I would like to thank my friends and family and colleagues and neighbors who went way beyond the call of duty to help me and my family, whose generosity and love were the key to my healing and recuperation.
I would like to thank my husband Carl who is my true soulmate and best friend.
I would like to thank my children who are the joy of every day.
I would like to thank my dachshund Lucy who gives unconditional love to our family.
I would like to thank all of my on-line friends for your support and kindness this past year.


Embracing second chances,
Penelope

(Photo taken by my very talented son.)

Got Corn?

Here is a great recipe to take advantage of the delicious fresh corn available at farm stands right now. It's Cheddar Corn Chowder, a healthy recipe from Martha Stewart. I made it this weekend for my guests and they loved it!


Cheddar Corn Chowder

Ingredients:
2 T olive oil
1 med finely chopped yellow onion
1 finely chopped celery stalk
1/2 t. ground coriander
1/4 t. ground cumin
1/8 t. cayenne pepper
1/2 cup dry white wine
3 Yukon gold potatoes, cut into cubes (Martha removes the peels, but I don't!)
2 c. chicken broth (low sodium, low fat)
1 c. nonfat or 1% milk
3 c. fresh corn kernels (about 6 ears of corn)
salt and pepper to taste
2 oz. sharp white cheddar cheese, grated


Heat oil in a pot over medium heat, add onion and cook for about 4 minutes. Then add celery and cook for 4 more minutes. Add coriander, cumin and cayenne. Raise heat to med-high and add wine. Cook until most of the liquid has evaporated (just a couple of minutes). Then add potatoes, chicken broth and milk. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for about 15 minutes.

Add corn and cook for 3-4 minutes. Remove from heat. Put 2 cups of slightly cooled soup into a Cuisinart and puree. Return puree to the pot and stir into the soup. Warm up the soup again, season with salt and pepper. When serving, top the soup with a sprinkle of sharp cheddar cheese.

Tip from Penelope: Before cutting the corn kernels off the cob, cut the ends so they're perfectly flat. This makes it much easier to chop the kernels off the cob.

Enjoy!

Happy Day,
Penelope

Happy Monday!

Happy Monday!

Monday morning quickie updates.....

I read Sheila Connolly's mystery Let's Play Dead. It is a very subdued style of mystery, about a museum director in Philadelphia. Not a lot of action, no real romance to speak of, and lots of mundane details about daily operations at a museum. Even though it was pretty dry reading, I still liked it. The mystery itself is the star of the show, and Connolly does a good job with the plotline. Also, the cover is simply adorable! Grade: B

I finally got to read Hannah Howell's latest addition to the Wherlocke series, If He's Dangerous. What a great story! I am totally digging the paranormally-enhanced Wherlocke family. They are bad-ass, mysterious and oh so sexy. Schwing! I am now in love with the name Angus. It's hot! I thought this book was the perfect package....great romance, terrific characters, engaging storyline. Grade: A

Thanks to People magazine for this inspiring photo of Hugh.

Happy Monday,

Penelope

Living In The Moment

I am lucky to live close to a wonderful organic garden and farm stand, called Land's Sake in Weston, Massachusetts. At different times of the growing season, they have pick your own raspberries, peas, etc. They also have pick your own flowers, which is a huge treat for my daughter. Yesterday I took Natty and one of her pals to pick flowers.

It was a glorious day and an excellent reminder to live in the moment.

Happy to be alive!
Penelope

A Hero Named Kowalski And A Heroine Named Miss Fickle

I am fervently attempting to avoid all contemporary romance novels. Even ones that come highly recommended are pissing me off no end. However, one has been nagging at me for a while, and for one simple reason.

Kowalski.

As soon as I saw that Shannon Stacey's series had a family with the last name Kowalski, I knew I was going to read it. That is ballsy, funny, and so uncool it's totally cool.

Exclusively Yours by Shannon Stacey (Kowalski Family series #1) is just the way I like contemporary romance: fast paced, lots of comedy, lots of sexy chemistry between the hero and heroine, and a kooky family thrown in for good measure. The premise for the story is hilarious and cute--reporter is forced to camp with the subject's family for two weeks if she wants her interview questions answered. The prissy girl is not prepared for mud, kids, mosquitoes, and a still lingering attraction to her old high school boyfriend. They putt around on ATVs and butt into each other's business. Love it! All of the problems are tied up neatly at the end with a nice big bow. Great story!

Grade: A

Next up....I have recently read two Annette Blair books. One is phenomenal, one was okay. First up, Skirting the Grave. This is one of her Vintage Magic Mysteries. I have been really enjoying this series, which combines cute, cozy mysteries with a touch of paranormal and romance. Unfortunately, this was not my favorite of the series. The storyline was okay, but not stellar. I still enjoyed all the vintage clothing descriptions. There were a few totally unbelievable plot moments that popped me out of the story (Isobel finding out her cousin is dead and then joking around with Maddie a few moments later, etc.) that just didn't make sense.

Love triangles are tricky things. They can add sexual tension, but they can also make the heroine look like a fickle tease. The love triangle between Madeira, Werner and Nick was a great addition to the former books in this series. But in this story her waffling really got on my nerves. I'm not going to spoil the end of the book, but she went from struggling with her attraction for both men (and leading them both on) to making a split second decision, which, in my oh so humble opinion, was totally freakin' wrong! She picked the wrong damned guy! Ugh!

Overall, a cute story but not as sparkling as her other books. And the love triangle was a big downer and made the heroine look bad.

Grade: B

Sometimes it's hard to believe the same author can write two such totally different books. Here is a perfect example. Blair's mystery series is cute, fun, with lots of banter. There is not a lot of emotional depth since it's a cozy mystery. On the flip side, she has written an incredibly moving and emotionally intense novel, Jacob's Return. This is an Amish love story and it is a powerful bit of storytelling. I found this book mesmerizing--could not put it down. Blair has done a superb job immersing the reader into the Amish way of life. The characters are wonderful....real, nuanced, conflicted, loving. This book does not shy away from tragedy....it's simply unavoidable here. But after an emotional roller coaster, the ending was absolute perfection. Lovely, unexpected, and romantic. I bawled like a little baby.

This is a beautiful story....I highly recommend it.

Grade: A

Happy Weekend To Everyone,
Penelope

Review of Heartless by Gail Carriger

Observations about Heartless by Gail Carriger.....

1.) The cover is wack. The models on Soulless, Changeless, and Blameless looked like they could kick your butt, admonish your improper behavior and have a spot of tea all without missing a beat. The woman on the cover of Heartless looks like she'll burst into tears if you look at her funny. Wack.

2.) The humor is spot-on--Alexia waddling around London, thwarting would-be paranormal crimes with a massive pregnant belly barely slowing her down. The characters are brilliant--the effeminate vampires, lesbian steampunk inventor, over-protective alpha werewolf hubby, catty suffragette sister, and best of all the no-nonsense soulless heroine. The storyline has ups and downs....interesting investigations, fabulous climatic scene at the end with the octomaton rampaging through town, but also occasionally bogged down by too much paranormal political stuff. Pacing slowed a bit in the middle, was just perfection at the end. With a killer cliff-hanger.

3.) This series is straight up the most original, clever and humorous bit of storytelling in the romance genre. Although it is truly a mish-mash of romance, steampunk, paranormal, historical and comedy. It's quirky. It's well-written. It's got Penny's Seal Of Approval.

4.) I was heartily disappointed with the lack of romance in Blameless. Due to a totally exasperating misunderstanding, the hero and heroine were apart for the bulk of the book. Heartless was an improvement, although still not enough for my romantic inclinations. It is definitely a sexy story, but I just can't get enough of Conall the gruff and grumbly werewolf. More, more, more!!!!!

5.) Favorite lines....

      "No wife. I mean to say, you are not exactly up to your usual galavanting about London with parasol at the ready, now, are you?"

      Alexia glanced down at her overstuffed belly and then got that look on her face. "I am entirely capable."

     "Of what, waddling up to someone and ruthlessly bumping into them?"

hee hee heeee..... 

And I love this line, too. Leave it to Alexia to tell it like it is. 

     "Goodness," said an exhausted Lady Maccon, "are babies customarily that repulsive looking?"

Why yes, yes they are. ☺

Looking for an entertaining steampunky historical romance with a kick-ass sense of humor? Look no further. 

Grade: A-

Pleasantly Pleased as a Peacock,

Penelope

What Is This Place? Ohhhhh....A Bookstore!

Since I have become the proud owner of a Kindle, I have frequently commented that print books are Satan. Kidding, of course. Kidding. But seriously, it's been a while since I read a print book. The last time irritated me no end. I couldn't adjust the font size. I couldn't leave bookmarks and memos for myself (which is such a great option for reviewers!). The book keeps snapping shut when you're trying to read and eat your heart-healthy lunch simultaneously. I cursed the heavens above and swore, as God is my witness, I would never read a print book again!

And then I went to the New England Mobile Book Fair.

There are bookstores. And then...well...there is the New England Book Fair.

I went for one reason. To get a book from my son's summer reading list. One. Single. Book. I forgot how seductive this shop is. A giant warehouse, utterly chaotic and mesmerizing. Are the books organized according to subject? By author? By title? Hell no. This place is organized by publisher, and it's fabulous. When you finally locate a book you are searching for, it's like finding a hidden treasure. Books are stacked on shelves. Piled in boxes on the floor. Forgotten in corners. It is a bibliophile's Shangri-La. This is no chi chi Barnes and Noble, with a Starbucks in the corner. This is for hardcore readers, baby, and I love it!

Back to my story. I forgot about the wonder of meandering through a kick-ass bookstore, discovering dusty treasures and exploring like a turn-of-the-century adventurer. Yes, I did get the one single book on my to-do list. I also got a vegetarian cookbook, 2 mysteries, 2 romance novels, a cookbook about cupcakes, a cookbook about cake pops, 4 Highlighter magazines, 2 guide books about Maine, and a kid's almanac 2012 by National Geographic. (My daughter was with me). We had a blast. And frankly, it made me sort of sad. I have a bad feeling all bookstores are going to bookstore heaven in the not-so-distant future.

Needless to say, I will be very busy this week. Baking cupcakes. Reading romance novels. And planning my trip to Maine.

As God is my witness, I will never ding print books again.

Penelope

Alaskan State Troopers, Sparkly Vampires and The Upside Down Fish

Here are some updates from the sweltering world of Penelope....

1.) Update on search for the meaning of life.....air conditioning.

2.) Most Excellent Discovery for July: Dana Stabenow's Liam Campbell mystery series. What do you get when you mix one sexy Alaskan state trooper, one sassy pilot love interest, lots of cool details about Alaskan history and culture, juicy plot lines, juicy sex scenes, complex relationships, and a little touch of the paranormal? The Liam Campbell mystery series. I read all four books back-to-back and inhaled them like a greasy cheeseburger at Bill's diner. I think Stabenow has done a fabulous job balancing the storyline and characterization in these books. Sometimes mysteries are too light on the characterization, and the stories suffer as a result. Not so with this series. She creates complex characters and real issues for the characters to deal with. Although I do think she went slightly overboard with Liam's troubles....adultery, scandalous demotion from a tragic accident, kid killed by drunk driver, and comatose wife would have been enough. Then she heaped on Liam having to confront the drunk who killed his son in a routine traffic stop....that was pushing it. Nevertheless, I loved how Liam and Wy had to deal with difficult decisions in their lives, and how their love continued to grow and flourish. This is a great mystery series for romance lovers! (I did have a bit of a problem with book #3....it deals with the abduction, rape and murder of women by a serial killer, a topic that was a bit too gruesome for me). Overall, this series is a super epic win! Highly recommended!!!!

3.) I watched Twilight for the first time last night with my daughter. Christ on a crutch, that movie sucked! It was boring, slow, ridiculous, and the acting was so hideously bad, my daughter and I were laughing out loud. Seriously, that was one of the worst movies I have seen in my life. I can't believe so many folks are manic about this film. Not sure if the book is any better than that, but I hope so. My "favorite" scene is when Edward tells Bella she has to see the real him in sunlight. I thought he would look hideous, grotesque, etc. Instead, he sparkles like a shirt from Justice. Hee heeeeeeeeee! Oh, snap!

4.) Due to my daughter's incessant badgering, I caved and got her another pet. I talked her down from the boxer puppy, to the guinea pig, the finch, and finally.....the fish. Yep, we got two new fish and a fish bowl. I tried to explain the concept of "starter" fish to her, and made her promise not to get too attached to Jo Jo and Hazel. Nevertheless, she got teary-eyed when Hazel started swimming sideways, then upside down. Sigh. Life Lesson #49....Sometimes we have to flush the ones we love.

Signing Off And Praying For A Day Cooler Than 101 Freakin' Degrees,
Penelope

What To "Cook" For Dinner When It's Freakin' 100°?

There's a rule in my house. When it's hotter than hades, the oven stays off. Grilling only or cold meals will suffice, thank you very much. Since we are enjoying a prolonged heat wave in the Boston area right now, I thought I would share my favorite cold dinner.....gazpacho! It's the quintessential summer meal.

I use a modified version of the Moosewood Cookbook recipe.


Gazpacho


Ingredients:

4 c. cold tomato juice
1 small, well minced onion (I use Vidalia sweet onion)
2 c. diced tomatoes (I like multi-colored cherry tomatoes for their sweetness and color)
1 c. minced yellow or orange pepper
1 diced cucumber
2 chopped scallions
juice of 1/2 lemon and 1 lime
2 T wine vinegar
1 t. honey
1 clove garlic crushed (I sometimes skip this)
dash of cumin
dash of tabasco
2 T good quality olive oil
salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
several handfuls of chopped fresh herbs: basil (I use sweet, purple, lemon and Thai), tarragon, dill, cilantro, chives, parsley, lemon balm, etc.

Combine all ingredients and chill for at least 2 hours. I love this soup because it's chunky!

Top with home-made bruschetta or croutons if you'd like. I also often top with low-fat sour cream and fresh herbs and Johnny Jump-Up flowers on top....yum!

For a delicious bruschetta to serve with this gazpacho, take a loaf of country peasant bread and slice into 1" slices. Drizzle with olive oil and salt and pepper. Place on a hot grill and grill both sides, being careful not the burn the bread (it will grill quickly!). Remove bread from grill, and spread with goat cheese. Sprinkle the tops with a mixture of finely chopped herbs (dill, cilantro, basil, chives, lemon balm, etc). Drizzle again with a bit of olive oil and S/P, then serve with the soup.

Stay cool!
Penelope

Penny Read A Mystery And She Liked It

(The following is to be read to the music of Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl".....start singing!)

Penny read a mystery and she liked it
The taste of an Alaskan state trooper
Penny read a mystery just to try it
I hope my romance addiction don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
Penny read a mystery and she liked it
She liked it.


Fire and Ice by Dana Stabenow.....Grade: A
Alaskan state trooper....nom nom nom

Guess who just broke her "I'm only buying one book this month" vow? heh heh heh....I have no honor! Off to read books #2, #3, and #4 of the Liam Campbell series......

Ciao!
Penelope

Review of Incorporeal by J R Barrett

I am popping up from my self-imposed exile, where I have been searching diligently for the meaning of life, to post a review. I decided to attempt reading again. Believe it or not, I am checking out a non-romance--Cleopatra by Stacy Schiff--and a new romance by Julia Barrett, who is also publishing under the name JR Barrett.

As for the meaning of life, the only significant discovery I've made in the last week is that Francis Ford Coppola makes a really kick-ass Merlot.

As for the new reading materials, Cleopatra seems promising and fascinating. And Incorporeal was a wonderful surprise.

Barrett has managed to combine true romance, eerie paranormality, a bit of history, and an interesting commentary about the state of publishing in this tale. The story starts in a weird place, not at the beginning of the two main characters' journey together. I'm not sure I would have chosen to start the story here. We jump right into the midst of this incorporeal love affair, between ghost-man and aspiring romance writer. So we miss their introduction and beginning of their dream-induced sexual affair. Barrett gets us up to speed pretty quickly with the state of their relationship. Sara is a sympathetic character, with dreams to be a writer, and saddled with an unwelcome affinity for ghosts. Natan is a very sexy and protective hero....with a troubled past, and an unclear place in this paranormal world. Normally I hate dealing with the learning curve of confused heroines thrown into a paranormal setting (in particular, Katie MacAlister often creates TSTL heroines dealing with unknown paranormal forces, and the lack of clear direction drives me up the freakin' wall). But Sara's gradual understanding of her circumstances unfolds in a logical way, and is shadowed by the growing emotional pull between herself and her ghostly lover.

One thing I have discovered about Barrett's writing is that regardless of the setting, she is able to create very intense emotional and sensual connections between her hero and heroine. And romantic. This seemingly tragic love affair reminded me of one of my favorite Karen Marie Moning books, Kiss of the Highlander. When Sara, pregnant with Natan's child, must convince his "reincarnation" that he is indeed her lover, you feel her frustration and Natan's confusion. The resolution of this conflict is wonderfully satisfying and romantic.

Barrett's portrait of the bitchy romance publisher is, unfortunately, a rather telling exasperation with the state of the romance industry today. I love this bit....

"To sell books, just like McDonald's, you have to make the same cheeseburger over and over again....that's how you win the game."

The completely self-absorbed diva of a publisher is balanced out by Sara's kind and supportive friends. Eventually, there is a HEA (happily ever after) for Sara's writing dreams, and indeed the story within a story (the heroine has written about her ghost lover in a book titled Incorporeal) is used to draw the hero and heroine back together at the end. After Natan reads the manuscript, he is able to reconcile his dreams, memories and past existence with this new reality. And so Sara's romance novel leads to her very own HEA, and a future with her delicious lover.

Me likey!

After a somewhat slow beginning, I got completely sucked into the book and couldn't put it down. The end is sweet and romantic and life-affirming. In Incorporeal, true love survives even death. Sounds pretty damned good to me.

Grade: A-

Available on Kindle
Available at Smashwords


Penelope....Slinking Back Into Exile (With a glass of merlot)......

10 Signs It Might Be Time To Take A Break From Reading Romance Novels

1. Your Kindle breaks and you don't care.

2. You start looking for excuses not to read....like cleaning the toilets.

3. As an alternative to romantic fiction, you turn to Great Expectations and think, "It's only 544 pages long. That's not too bad."

4. Your reviews have morphed from well-written essays to "quickies" to a couple of sentences, to "meh."

5. You would rather watch Sharktopus on SyFy than read a romance novel.

6. You finish a book and the best thing you can come up with is..."Well, I guess the boinking part was okay."

7. You find yourself muttering "...the Brothers, blah blah blah, who cares..." under your breath.

8. You're personally offended by grammatical errors.

9. You realize that your husband cleaning the house is way more romantic than a hunky Scottish laird wearing a kilt. No contest.

10. It's summer vacation!


I never thought it would happen, but I've finally "hit the wall" with my romance reading. This may or may not have something to do with the fact that I appear to be having a mid-life crisis. Yes, a "perfect storm" of events (turning 45 and having a near-fatal heart attack last August) have me questioning my purpose, my importance, my hobbies, everything. For some strange reason, I am totally wigging out about the upcoming anniversary of my heart attack (which is August 3).

It's easy to focus on the physical part of recovery. You eat the right foods. Do the exercise. Take your pills. But contemplating the whole "I-have-a-second-chance-for-life" thing is much more difficult and troubling. I am nervous about August 3rd. What have I done this past year since God/Fate/Destiny/A Random Occurrence decided I would live? Am I squandering my second chance? What is the best way to make it count? What is the best way to make myself happy? Fulfilled?

I have no freakin' clue.

If this was a movie with George Clooney and Marky-Mark, someone would probably take a break in the action (giant waves crashing down upon our little fishing vessel) and give me some super profound advice, about how small and insignificant I am compared to the great big ocean, yada yada, or something like that. But unfortunately, George and Marky-Mark are no where to be found.

I guess I have to figure this out for myself. That whole idiotic saying "Life Isn't A Dress Rehearsal" has taken on new meaning for me. Because it isn't a dress rehearsal. One of my on-line friends was talking about the NKOTBSB concert, and I thought "That sounds really fun. I wish I could go." And then I thought "Why can't I go? WTF?" and then I called my sister, who is the best, and she said "We're there. Break out your sequins." And we went. And it was ridiculously fun and excellent...and alive. I felt alive and joyful and celebratory. As I swayed with 20,000 other screaming women while Donnie Wahlberg ripped off his shirt.

I'm not gonna read about other people doing fun things anymore. Like going to concerts with aging boy bands. Or heading to Alaska for a vacation. Or kayaking with whales. Or going to glass-blowing camp in Vermont. I'm gonna do those things, too. Which may cutback on my reading and blogging time. And that's okay. I will definitely pop in from time to time. And hopefully get my reading mojo back. And fall in love with writing again. I have a delicious fictional bearded lumberjack who is clamoring for some attention.

So, I'm hanging this sign on my blog.....

Gone Fishin'

No, that's not quite right. How about this....

Temporary Hiatus Due To Mid-Life Crisis, Hopefully Resolved Soon By George Clooney, Or My Own Self-Discovery, Whichever Occurs First


You might not see me on Twitter or the boards for a couple of months. Hopefully I'll be on a life-affirming adventure.

I hope that all of you have a wonderful summer adventure, too, something that makes you happy to be alive. ☺☺☺☺

Pondering Profound Platitudes,
Penelope

Happy Independence Day!

My New England town embraces July 4th like nobody's business. We have a huge-arse fireworks display, and an adorable old-fashioned parade. The first year my daughter attended the parade, she was thrilled to discover that many of the participants throw candy to children on the side of the road. Needless to say, she showed up the next year with buckets and a willingness to elbow any other greedy children out of her way. She has two Spongebob buckets ready for action.

Hope all of you have a wonderful weekend!
Penelope