Monday, October 22, 2012

That's Dr. Snooty To You, Bubs

In November, I am attending a literary writer's conference with one of my best buds. I have been advised NOT to divulge the fact that I write...ahem...romance novels. Apparently, this is an extremely "snooty" conference, and romance is frowned upon. 

Accordingly, I'm trying to decide how to introduce myself, in case anyone asks what I write.

Please vote on your favorite!

Hi! I'm Penny Watson and I write...

A) Kinky Mindfuckeria (many thanks to Victoria Morgan for this gem).

B) Veinerschnitzel Fiction (if asked to elaborate on this, I will respond "lumberjack veinerschnitzel and dachshund-ish veinerschnitzel").

C) My writing cannot be defined by any genre. It will BLOW YOUR MIND.

D) Elfin-inspired fantasy fiction, sort of like Lord of the Rings, only actually nothing like that. But it could be.

E) A book about Santa Claus (if asked if I write children's fiction, I will respond..."Is it okay if Santa has sex?" and see what happens).

F) Turfgrass Manuals.

G) Zombie apocalyptic fiction.

I'm hoping any of these will make a good impression with the snooty crowd. And of course I'll be wearing my tiara, which should elevate my status to "super" snooty.

Any favorites? Other ideas? Let me know!

Happy Week To All!