Thursday, August 2, 2012

Penny Watson, Worst Cook In The World

Cooking in the summer is usually pretty easy. Slap something on the grill. You're good to go.

My husband calls on his way home from work. He'll say "What's for dinner?" And I'll say "Um..." (me frantically looking around the kitchen)...."grilled chicken and veggies?" And he'll say "Is it done yet?" And I'll say, "It'll be done by the time you get home."

And in 20 minutes, I've thrown chicken cutlets in a ziplock bag with some salad dressing for a quick marinade, chopped up the veggies and threaded them onto skewers and popped open the bag of prepared greens. Grill it all up, throw it in a bowl.


He walks in the door 20 minutes later and says "You just made this one second ago, didn't you?" And I'll be standing there, looking all frazzled, and say "No. What makes you think that?"

Anyhoo, this week I decided to get fancy-pants with my meals. I!

Day 1: Monday

Penny attempts to make a Greek salad with grilled Greek shrimp. She makes a Greek salad with romaine lettuce, cukes, tomatoes, feta cheese, Kalamata olives, etc. The shrimp are drizzled with the home-made Greek dressing briefly before grilling.

Outcome: The feta cheese has no flavor, the home-made Greek salad dressing sucks and the shrimp are completely tasteless. Like little bits of cardboard.

Grade: F

Hubby: (chewing thoughtfully on shrimp)....."Did you marinate these?"


Day 2: Tuesday

Determined to redeem herself after Monday's fiasco, Penny attempts Recipe #2, Japanese Noodle Salad with Ginger Dressing. She uses udon noodles, lots of fresh veggies, and has some chicken to throw on the grill for her carnivorous hubby.

Preparation takes a longgggggg time. She has to freshly grate the ginger, chop tons of veggies, get out every bottle of Asian sauce in her cabinet.

She cooks the udon noodles according to the directions: for 10 minutes. As hubby walks through the door, she is tossing the noodles with the sauce and toppings. She takes a bite and screams "Oh my God! This sucks! The noodles are totally over-cooked! They are mush! MUSH!"

Hubby takes one bite of noodles and says "Well, at least we still have the chicken. Let me cook that."

Outcome: Noodles dumped into the garbage can. Hubby's chicken is edible.

Grade: F


Day 3: Wednesday

Incredibly delicious sushi from the Japanese restaurant down the street. (Hubby's idea)

Outcome: Best meal of the week.

Grade: A


Day 4: Thursday

I know what you're thinking. For the love of God, get a pizza! 

Haaaaa...that's funny.

But seriously, I'm going with my old standby, never-fail, grilled salmon dinner. AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, THIS MEAL IS NOT GOING TO SUCK!

My attempt for this evening will be grilled salmon, couscous with veggies, and an herb salad. (I'll let you know if we end up getting pizza).

Hoping that my culinary luck is about to change,