Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Tales of a Craft Show Drop-Out & Book Fair Announcement!

Many moons ago, I was a florist.

I decided to start my own business when I lived in Vermont. I made dried wreaths, gift items and wedding stuff. My house looked like a bunch of flowers exploded on the second floor. (My hubs was super nice about the whole thing). Anyway, during this time of my life, I decided to participate in one of the most dreaded undertakings known to mankind.

Yes....The Craft Show.

(Hubs likes to call them The Craps Show).

Anyhoo, I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for my first show. I had wreaths displayed. Some of my wedding work was there for folks who wanted to place orders. I had a portfolio with photos. I sat at my little chair and watched people walk by. And then walk by some more. And then avoid eye contact. And pretty soon I felt like the Biggest Loser On The Face Of The Earth.

And I swore, as I packed up my car to head home after making a piddly amount of money, that I would NEVER put myself through that humiliation again.

Which brings me to the next announcement....The Book Fair!

You know what I'm about to say. You've walked through the book fair room, avoiding eye contact with authors sitting next to a huge stack of books. You've suffered through the awkward conversation with a big name writer, who is sitting next to Miss Nobody with the sad puppy dog eyes. You've dished out cash for books you really didn't want, just because you couldn't take it anymore.

Hee heeee.......

Wellllllll.........I would like to invite you and your super guilty conscience to the Literacy Book Fair at the Hawthorne Hotel in Salem, MA on Saturday April 28, at 4:30 pm. (How did you like that introduction? Are you feeling a compulsion yet?) Some big name authors will be there--Hannah Howell, Kristan Higgins, Annette Blair, Marie Force, Judith Arnold, Meg Maguire/Cara McKenna and more. (And some small name authors, including yours truly, attempting to hawk my Christmas book in April. I'm bringing a mini xmas tree and some candy canes).

It should be a frolicking good time, and a great way to end the conference weekend. Marley Gibson is also giving a Ghost Hunter tour of Salem after the book fair.

Any New Englanders interested in meeting some of their favorite authors (and making fun of Penny Watson, the nutball selling a xmas book in April), please stop by and say hello!

The NECRWA hopes to see you there!

Don't feel bad. Seriously.

Sure, just walk on by. It won't hurt my feelings.

You don't want to read a Christmas story in April? That's OK. *sniffle, sniffle*

Don't worry about me. It's nothing a cocktail (or 42) can't cure.

Did it work yet?

Having no shame,


Unknown said...

LOL That's exactly how I feel. :) I'm still looking forward to the book signing.
I'm sure your table will look cool. :)

Mrs. Missive said...

I sooo just had this converstion. Your analogy is far superior to mine. I can't make it to another con this year due to funds, but I would definitely come to your table. Hell I'd probably buy a wreath if you had them too! ;p

Penny Watson said...

Hi Amber! Party time at the book fair....woo hooo!!!!

Penny Watson said...

Mrs. Missive....I had a craft show flashback at my first book fair. Oy. I'd sell you a wreath, darlin'!!!!!

Nina Pierce said...

Yes, those sad eyes just watching people walk on by ... would love to have been with you all at the book signing, but a broken arm has completed thwarted my convention plans. :(

Unknown said...

You just tell me who those people are who are calling you Miss Nobody, "I'll gie em a glescae kiss, a will, honest hen."

In English that means I will take them by the throat and crack their skull with my shiny forehead, and teach them to have proper manners when dealing with my Aunt Penny....

And as to Christmas, I pointed out just yesterday, a gift that would be appropriate for me for next Christmas, it's never to early my love...

Penny Watson said...

Oh no, Nina! I am so sorry to hear that. I hope your arm feels better soon. That is a big bummer. I will drink a huge martini in your honor!

Penny Watson said...

Good idea, Tom. Another way to lay on the guilt.

"Have you started your xmas shopping yet? No? Really? I'm all done with mine already. You better get cracking. How about this stunning holiday romance book with the half-naked dude on the front cover? Excellent choice!"

JB said...

Hey I was there at that "crap show" so so long ago, and I remember...People were there to buy crap--that's why they walked by your beautiful wreaths and arrangements. Don't let her kid you, folks, her talents know no bounds! And darlin', your x-mas books sizzle, no matter the season!

Penny Watson said...

JB!!!!!! You were the bestest friend ever to hang out with me at that crap show. :^)