Thursday, December 29, 2011

Purging The Dog House

I have noticed something about myself lately. And it isn't very flattering. (No, I'm not talking about my thighs). What I'm talking about is my penchant for holding grudges.

I didn't used to be this way. I used to be fairly easy-going. If someone pissed me off or offended me in some way, I would just laugh about it, immediately clear the air, and move on.

Somehow, paired with white hairs, wrinkles, and a less-than-stellar heart, I have developed the ability to hold grudges in an Olympic size manner. In fact, if they handed out gold medals for grudge-holding, I am sure I would be standing on the podium with a Janet Jackson song blaring on the loud-speakers behind me. My grudges are large and small, real and probably imagined, profound and absurd. Anything from professional back-stabbing to leaving dog shit on my yard is grounds for a Penelope Grudge.

My dog house is so packed, it's about to explode. Lots of folks are in the dog house, and I realized something today.

I need to let it all go. It's time to purge the dog house.

The insults, betrayals, broken promises, hurt feelings, ego-crushing incidents, patronizing comments, and petrified dog poops are being purged. Today.

In preparation for a new year in 2012, I am cleaning out the dog house.

My tolerance for bull shit was extremely low after my heart attack. If someone pissed me off, I immediately announced "She is dead to me." That elicited some chuckles from my husband. Until I was surrounded by so many "dead people," it was like the zombie apocalypse.

Time to re-establish tolerance. Time to regain that laid-back attitude. Time to approach 2012 with a clean slate.

Maybe if the dog house is purged, there will be room for a new dachshund puppy. Then it won't really matter how many dog poops are on the front lawn, will it?

It's hard to be good,


Unknown said...

It's sad because I spent so many years being angry at people - who made me angry. When I saw a therapist I found myself saying, "he/she made me mad." To the point where the therapist would say, "Let me guess, she made you mad."
I knew then and there I had to stop holding these grudges. It wasn't doing me good and the other person probably didn't care. lol

Life is more peaceful now. :O) Hope you find purging the dog house healing.

Penny Watson said...

Amber....that's the reason to let it go. It isn't good for YOU. Bottling up a lot of negative energy is bad for your soul. I still feel curmudgeonly, but I'm working on it. ;^)

Julia Rachel Barrett said...

Oh god, I feel so awful. About you purging I mean. But it will all be for the good, I think.
My philosophy is this - forgive but remember. You know, the old fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. And then you get on with life.
There's a difference between purging anger and hurt feelings, and distancing ourselves from poisonous people. Sometimes it's not so much a grudge as it is a need to be away from negativity and the negative emotions certain people, events and words evoke.
Here's to the New Year, Pen. And maybe a new pup!

Penny Watson said...

Hi Julia! I agree about not forgetting. And I agree about cutting out toxic relationships. But I also need to cut some folks a break, and I haven't been doing a good job at that lately. ;^)

A new pup will probably push me over the edge of the abyss....but I guess I can handle some teeny tiny puppy poops!

DT said...

Wishing you much happiness in the new year! Sometimes it is good to let things go and sometimes you need to let people go. I have had to cut off 2 friends in the past year who had been in my life since middle school because as we have grown, we have grown apart and I realized they were toxic friends. My life is better without them. Sometimes figuring out when to let things go and when to let the people go is the hard part.

And I vote for a border collie puppy instead. :->

Penny Watson said...

Hi Amanda! Good for's important not to surround yourself w/ negative, toxic people.

I love border collies! They're so smart and cute!

Tales of Whimsy said...

What a great idea. I need to work up to something like this.

Penny Watson said...

Hi Juju! It's a good idea, but I'm still working on it. ;^)