Last night something exciting happened! My daughter went to a school dance with her friend, my son just got his new XBOX game and disappeared into the basement, and my husband and I had 2 WHOLE HOURS to ourselves!
So we decided to watch a movie together. The Grey starring Liam Neeson.
I choose this movie based on two vital bits of information...
1.) It stars Liam Neeson.
2.) It stars Liam Neeson with a beard.
So, we start watching. Right away I know we're in big trouble.
Hubby: I can't understand one word he's saying! He's mumbling! He's mumbling!
Me: I can sort of understand him. A little bit. Um, is this really slow and boring or what?
Hubby: He's mumbling!
The movie goes along. It's dark, dreary and depressing. But Penelope, being the eternal optimist, does not give up hope.
One by one, the survivors of the plane crash start dropping like flies.
Me: Is it me, or is this movie really slow and super depressing?
Hubby: There are a lot of interesting themes going on here.
Me: You mean like man vs. nature? Stuff like that?
Hubby: He's mumbling!
More people die. I notice that even though they're in the Arctic...
1. No one is wearing gloves.
2. No one is wearing a hat.
3. No one is wearing a coat.
4. Even though Liam Neeson somehow makes spears for everyone, they only have them in one scene and then they disappear and they have no weapons for the rest of the movie.
5. After they fall in the freezing cold water, which of course would mean INSTANT death, Liam Neeson gets up and keeps going. Like the terminator. O-kay.
It would have saved me 117 minutes to have this forewarning at the beginning of the film...
EVERYONE DIES. THERE IS NO HOPE. THERE IS NO GOD. THERE IS NO FAITH. EVEN IF YOU LOOK BAD-ASS IN A BEARD, YOU MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP RIGHT NOW BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE.
After ruminating about this film for a while, and attempting to come up with meaningful themes, my husband finally conceded (God bless his heart)..."This movie was totally pointless."
But Penelope, because she has read 10,316 romance novels and has the heart and soul of an optimist and believes in the HEA, came up with this conclusion...
"Well, it's true that the movie seemed to indicate that death is bad, life is bad, wolves are bad, and there is no hope. BUT...if you're a wolf, that movie totally has a HEA! Because the wolves win! They kill all the stupid humans, they get some yummy snacks, and they totally kick ass! If this movie was being marketed to a wolf pack, it would say something like this...
A feel-good movie for the whole family!"
My husband said "I love you."