Monday, August 5, 2013

I Wanna Be A Real Boy!

Real boy? Real books? Such a conundrum!

Last night an author on Facebook commented that she preferred "real" books, not ebooks. She likes to "touch" them and "smell" them. And then a whole slew of authors chimed in that they, also, preferred "real" books.

And I thought....hmm.

1. That whole smelly book thing is creepy.

2. I think she means "print books" but used the unfortunate term "real" implying that digital and audio books are somehow not "real."

3. I would imagine the millions of readers who spend millions of dollars a year on digital books might disagree about that term.

4. I would also imagine the millions of authors who publish their digitally-formatted books might disagree with that term.

5. A friend on Twitter said "If books on Kindle and Nook aren't real does that mean we can buy them with Monopoly money?" (I sure hope so, because I have four Monopoly games in my basement!)

6. Another Twitter friend said "A book is real if you can read it." Word.

7. There is nothing wrong with still loving print. (Although an environmentalist might disagree about that). But implying that ebooks are somehow subpar and unreal is idiotic. I personally prefer digital for these reasons: I can adjust the font size on my Kindle which makes reading MUCH more comfortable for me. Too many print books have teeny-tiny text which is utterly ridiculous. I also read hundreds of books a year. My house would be filled from floor to ceiling with books if I purchased all of those in print. And finally, there is nothing like the instant gratification of sitting on the beach in Florida with my Kindle, deciding I want to read such-and-such a book by Julie Garwood, clicking "BUY NOW" and voila! it's on my Kindle and ready-to-go. It's a freaking miracle. Love it!

Has anyone else noticed that snobby behavior has escalated this summer? Trad pubs/bloggers/reviewers dinging self-pubs. Literary types dinging romance. Print authors dinging digital authors. RWA blatantly discriminating against small press and self-published authors.

It sort of makes me want to become a farmer. I guess farmers can be snobs, too. "My tomatoes are better than your tomatoes, goddammit!"


And now, onto the review portion of this segment!

I read three books this weekend.

1. Tall, Dark and Wolfish by Lydia Dare

I had a lot of problems getting through this book. It just wasn't engaging, the characters were too flat at the beginning (although they perked up a bit by the end), and worst of all the phonetic Scottish dialogue! OH MY GOD! I love a good Scottish romance as much as the next guy (in fact I am obsessed with Julie Garwood's Scottish stories), but it's difficult to slog through dialogue like this...

"Doona ye think I ken that?"
"Tis no proper, and ye ken it."
"Doona say I dinna warn ye."
"Ye donna ken more than that."


I understand that some authors are trying to add a Scottish flavor to their books by using this sort of phonetic speech, but Christ on a cracker, kick it down a notch!

Anyway, the ending saved this one, but not enough.

Grade: C+

2. Dom of the Dead by Virginia Nelson

I know. If I read a book about a ghostly dom, then I get what I get, and I can't get upset.

Summary of this book:

Oh God! I miss him. He's dead!

Spank me, Ghostly Dom!

I am so sad. I loved him and never told him!

Spank me! Spank me! Oh oh oh!

I love you!

I'm going to get you a collar.

I'm devastated!

Please, Master.

You're dead.

No you're not.

Yes, you are.

No you're not.

Yes, you're not.

I am so confused!

I'm so confused! (Moonstruck)

Anyhoo, I am now calling this book the Bullshit Ghostly Dom.

Grade: I'm so confused!

3. FINALLY! A big, huge, fat winner! Stranded with Her Ex by Jill Sorenson was fantastic. It has man-eating sharks, marine biologists, a hot Filipino dude cooking lumpia, a rekindled romance, a deranged lunatic on an island, lots of suspense, and very hot chemistry between the H/h. I adored this book and could not put it down. My only beef was that the ending was just a tad too rushed, but otherwise this book was the perfect summer read. HIGHLY recommend!

Grade: A-

Later this week I'll post some pics my son took in New Orleans. Happy August!