Any person doing beard evaluations would certainly be remiss if she forgot to include what amounts to possibly the most stunning, spell-binding examples of bearded beauty in all of the world.
Namely, ZZ Top.
Let's look at the quality of these magnificent specimens of beardiness.
Color: A shade of red not commonly found in the natural world
Size: Freakin' huge and bushy
Shape: Um. Um. Cylindrical?
Style: Includes stache, full side-burns, and Grizzly-Adams length bushy beard
Sexy Meter: Extraordinary. How could a woman resist a guy like this? Makes you want to strip down to your underwear and dance around an old-timey car. Look at those sexy hats. The bad-ass sunglasses. The Texas-style black jackets. Makes you want to have hot, sweaty, beardy sex and belt out La Grange at the top of your lungs! Makes you remember....
It's APRIL FOOL'S DAY!!!!!!
For God's sake, you didn't think I was serious, did you?
Criminy. Even Penelope has her beardy limits. And ZZ Top is way over the limit.
In order to erase this disturbing image from your mind, I'll leave you with this photo.....
Eric would like to wish you and your entire family a very happy April Fool's Day!