Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Day #2 Of Vacation: Where's The Beach? (aka, Those Damned Kids)




Day #2 of Vacation:

My hubby is an obsessive fly-fisherman. On our first day of vacation he got up at the crack of dawn and went fishing with a guide. The kids and I were exhausted after our hellacious misadventure in the airport, so we all slept in.

Finally, I forced the kids to wake up so we could start exploring Santa Fe! I adore this sweet, charming town. It has everything a girl could ever want...gorgeous vistas, shopping, amazing museums, art galleries.

Wait. Wait. I know what you're thinking.

That doesn't really sound like a "kiddy-friendly"vacation spot.

OK, fair enough. But I made sure there would be a pool at our hotel for the kids. And...we were going white-water rafting. And, visiting pueblos. And stuff like that.

Wrench in Best Laid Plans...

1. There was a huge drought going on, and major fire-hazard at all parks, so no rafting, and many trails closed.

2. The pool was lovely, but smallish and surrounded by 70 year olds. (My kids kept saying "Um, has anyone noticed EVERYONE AT OUR HOTEL IS AN OLD PERSON?")

3. Our last major vacation was to a crazy incredible hotel in HAWAII. We had something like 14 pools at the resort...one of them had a lagoon with kayaks in it. Needless to say, anything after that place was going to come up short. Ugh.

4. I'm an idiot.


Celebrity Death Match Between Hawaii....

Our Resort In Hawaii

and Santa Fe.....

Loretto Chapel, Santa Fe

Hawaii wins by a landslide! (Did I already say I'm an idiot?)

Anyhoo, I am still perky and optimistic! The kids will love this, I keep telling myself. We go out for breakfast and everything on the menu has chilies on it. The eggs have chilies. The pancakes have blue corn in them. My 15-year old son tries something new, God bless him! My daughter insists on plain eggs and bacon, which the restaurant kindly accommodates.

And then, this conversation...

Daughter: Where's the beach?

Me: Silence.

Daughter: I want to build a sand castle.

Son: We're in the middle of the desert, dumb-ass!

Me: Don't call your sister a dumb-ass. (To my daughter: Honey, we're in the middle of a desert).

Daughter: What do you mean? We always go to the beach for our summer vacation! Where's the beach?

Son: (snickers) Well, there is sand.

Me: Honey, why don't you Google Santa Fe and look at a map. We are not on the coast. But there are a lot of fun things to do here...

Daughter: (Googles the map) I miss Hawaii! Why didn't we go to Hawaii! That was my favorite place!

Son: Hawaii was awesome.

Me: (wondering if I could get a Bloody Mary instead of a coffee for breakfast)...We are trying something different. Seeing a new part of the country. You will love it!

After finishing breakfast, we meander around Santa Fe. We pass by the Loretto Chapel, which I adore. Peek into some shops. Look at the Central Square.

By the time we get home, we are all hot and sweaty and the kids are irked, and I am thinking about flinging their little bodies off the balcony.

I believe I may have used the expression "SUCK IT UP!" at one point while they were complaining.

Also, we just happened to be passing a construction worker as I said this, and he laughed and said "Kids. Gotta love 'em."

We get back to the hotel, and I suggest the kids go for a swim. We look at the pool (which was very sweet) and notice that the median age of swimmers appears to be 87. The kids take a pass.

It occurs to me that I may have made a critical error in judgment when I booked this vacation.

I'm screwed.


Next Up: Day #3: Hummingbirds for the Win! High Altitude Sickness for the Loss!


12 comments:

KindlesConsort said...

Laugh out loud funny and I can totally feel your pain. You were a much better parent than I. Left our oldest with grandparents when we went to Hawaii. Youngest joined the family 9 months later.

We went on a long weekend a few weeks ago to the family cottage in Quebec. It rained the entire time. Cable only had 12 channels and half were in French. On the ride home, 10 y/o decides to throw up on himself and US Border Patrol randomly chose our minivan to entertain them.

Keep the faith!! Maybe if the kids splashed a lot at the pool, the older clientele might retreat to dryer ground?

Shirra said...

Traveling with family! I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one to use the phrase "Suck it up" to my kids on vacation.

Our trip that all others will be compared to was what turned into 3 weeks in Scotland, Cumbria and London. The trip was amazing to begin with but then we had 4 extra days "forced" on us in London when Hurricane Irene hit the east coast. Hard life my kids had, extra time in Notting Hill with some very cool extended family during carnival. Needless to say, it was a hard act to follow the next summer in Montreal in a small, un-air conditioned apartment, all the kids in one room and nobody agreeing on what would be fun to do.

Darlene Marshall said...

Heh. We used to have two kinds of travel in the summer: Vacations and family trips. They were not the same, as the definition of "Vacation" was "We found someone to keep the kids!" or "The kids are at camp!"

Enjoy your family trip.[g]

Juju at Tales of Whimsy.com said...

Oh no. :(
I do love how you have managed to turn your misadventures into something humorous we can share with you.

Penelope said...

KC...OY! Your trip sounds worse than mine (although mine is about to get worse, including a trip to the ER).

But barf in the car is right up there with WORST TRIP EVER!

Penelope said...

Hi Shirra! It is really hard trying to make everyone happy on a family trip. Usually I do a pretty good job balancing that, but this trip might have been pushing it too far. Hee hee!

Penelope said...

Darlene...My favorite word. CAMP!

Penelope said...

Hi Juju! Laughing is better than crying, right? :^)

Tasha Brandstatter said...

They really do put chilis in everything. I forgot about that. The first time I tried spaghetti there I practically puked.

Julia Barrett said...

You're having one of my mind-blowing vacations. I pity you...

Penelope said...

Tasha...I love chilies, but for breakfast, lunch and dinner? By the end of the first day, I was all "I need some plain lettuce!"

Penelope said...

Julia...It was lung-blowing, I think.