SPECIAL HOLIDAY DEAL!

SPECIAL HOLIDAY DEAL!
The Klaus Brothers 99 cent BOXED SET for a limited time. Offer ends 12-31-14!

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Happy Halloween!



HAPP
HALLOWEEN!

A few updates...

1. My search for vanilla menage was finally successful! Last night I read COMMANDO COWBOYS SEDUCE THEIR WOMAN by Paige Cameron. It had a M/F/M menage, no hardcore BDSM, no anal, and no crazy sex things that I had to Google to figure out what they meant. It even had a romantic HEA with a baby-on-the-way! (Baby with 2 daddies, hee hee!) 



Some observations about this book...

* The characters ate a lot of sandwiches. And snacks. And beverages. THEY NEVER SKIPPED A MEAL!

* They all had a very keen sense of smell. If things didn't work out on the ranch, they could probably get a job in Paris as a perfumer.

* A romance with three partners is called a "polyromance" according to Siren.

* The story was pretty much what you'd expect with a threesome erotica...instant attraction, etc. BUT this was not an alpha-caveman story. It was what I refer to as a "caretaker" menage...it's every woman's deepest desire. Sure, she wants two hot sexy dudes to cater to her every sexual whim and ensure satisfaction. But more importantly, she wants a foot massage, and her guys to cook for her and do the dishes. (It's pretty obvious a woman wrote this book). 

* The end actually had a pretty cool suspense storyline. I liked it!

Over-all assessment: C+/B- 

I liked it, and I bought the next one in the series! Yee haw!


2. RT Book Reviews has started a 3-part series on self-publishing. Kit Rocha and I are interviewed in the first part of the series. Here's the linkie!


3. TOMORROW IS THE INDIE AUTHOR SYMPOSIUM!



Hope everyone has a great Halloween. Enjoy those horror movies. ONE MORE NIGHT!

Penny

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I Hate You With The Passion Of A Thousand Suns



...is what my dog thought when I forced her to wear this humiliating hot dog costume.



She's got mustard!



HAPPY ALMOST HALLOWEEN!

Love,
Penny

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

In Search of Vanilla Menage: Good Luck With That!


Recently I had a conversation with some friends that went something like this...


Friend #1: "You should really read Book So-and-So. It's great!"

Me: "I can't. The hero is a man-ho. You know that's one of my no-no rules."

Another friend (#2): "How about this book? I loved it."

Me: "Nope. That has too much dark and disturbing material. Also on my list of rules."

Friend #3: "What about Book Blah Blah?"

Me: "Absolutely not. That breaks the rule about cheating and/or having sex with other partners while the story is happening. I don't care about their histories PRIOR to the book, but once you get on page one, all sexual activity must be limited to hero and heroine, including, but not pertaining exclusively to, dreams and fantasies."

Friends: Silence.

Friend #1: "You sure have a lot of rules."

Me: "No I don't!"

All friends simultaneously: "YES YOU DO!"

Me: "What? So I don't like man-hos, virgin heroes, alpha-holes, orgies, BDSM, fake BDSM, young adult, new adult, dark and disturbing topics like rape or violence, too-stupid-to-live heroines, plot-driven stories, huge info dumps, cheating, The Big Misunderstanding, billionaires, cougars, dark and angsty books, jump-the-shark plots, plot holes, gang-bangs, figging, flogging, anal sex, most contemporaries, and/or poorly written bearotica."

Friends: ALL RISE EYEBROWS ACCUSINGLY

Me: "Fine. Maybe I have a lot of rules."

A few days later I complained about the lack of vanilla menages on Twitter. Jen Porter pointed out that most menage stories are erotica, and include many of the topics that make me squeamish.

I complained bitterly that there is not a sub-sub-sub-subgenre for "vanilla menage"....what if a nice little old granny in Vermont wanted to read a wholesome threesome?

Is that not possible?

Does back-door action ALWAYS have to be included in these stories?

Sigh.

Evidently it does. So, I'm still looking for my vanilla menage story that doesn't break any of my hard-and-fast rules. It ain't looking too good.

In the meantime, I'm re-reading Julie Garwood. (She doesn't break any of my rules.)



Starting the countdown until the INDIE AUTHOR SYMPOSIUM! Yee haw!

Penny


Monday, October 21, 2013

Monday Morning Update: Cocktails, Junior Mints, and Chunky Girls For The Win


Junior Mints Steph, Penny, and Vicki at NJRWA conference, hard at work. :^)


1. ALWAYS THE CHUNKY BRIDESMAID, NEVER THE CHUNKY BRIDE...

I wrote a review for Ros Clarke's FLIRTING WITH THE CAMERA for the new blog Love In The Margins. I really loved this book. It has a chunky girl heroine who has good self-esteem and thinks she's beautiful. How 'bout them apples? Please check out this cool new blog, leave some heckling comments for moi if you so desire, and enjoy my pics of Queen Latifah, Barbie, and a NKOTB video.

Here's the linkie--->My post is called ALWAYS THE CHUNKY BRIDESMAID, NEVER THE CHUNKY BRIDE. Enjoy!



What? You looking at me? I totally represent real women. Come on.

***


2. I attended a conference this past weekend. Here are my photos...


Blueberry Martini...felt like drinking bootlegged grain alcohol...I may have lost 5 or 10 minutes of my life after consuming this one.




Wine, mojito, and totally kick-ass strawberry basil alcoholic lemonade. 



The Beach Martini, with the cool layers you could swirl around.


What? You're asking if I did anything else besides drink during the conference? Um...Um...Of course I did, dammit!

See photo at top of post...I am discussing literature with my friends.

Also, here's another photo, where Bobbi Baby (Bobbi Ruggiero) and Victoria Morgan and I are having a conversation about how to add conflict into your story.



And here are me, Stephanie Funniest-Woman-In-The-World-Most-Likely-To-Be-Struck-Down-By-A-Bolt-Of-Lightning and Bobbi Baby-Don't-Touch-The-Silken-Curtain-Of-Perfection-Or-I'll-Bite-Your-Hand-Off having a super serious discussion about the state of publishing...




And...something else REALLY EXCITING HAPPENED!

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

My bud Victoria Morgan was a finalist for the Golden Leaf Best First Book Award for her super fabulous debut novel FOR THE LOVE OF A SOLDIER. And guess what!!!!!!

SHE WON!!!!!!



We may have made a bit of a ruckus screaming and yelling and cheering at the time. I'm not sure. (Penny looks super innocent).

And now I have 12 days until the INDIE AUTHOR SYMPOSIUM with Marie Force! I cannot wait. It's going to be an incredible conference, and it's not too late to register. If you are interested in getting more information about how to be the master of your own destiny, check out the website and sign up.

I highly recommend it. 

Happy Monday!

Penelope

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Wellesley Books Indie Author Evening!



Tonight is the night!

I will be at Wellesley Books, in Wellesley MA, for their first Local Indie Author Evening. Eight local authors will be chatting it up with customers, signing our books, and talking about our self-publishing experiences. The event is from 6-8 pm. Here is a link for directions to the store.

I hope to see some of you there. And if you want to hang out and get a cocktail with me after the shin-dig, that would be super!



Ciao!
Penny