Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Yo, Publishers! I Gots An Idea! Yo!


I GOTS AN IDEA!
YO!

Dear Mr. Big-Wig Publisher,

I know you're stressing out. The whole publishing industry is crumbling around your shoulders. Indie authors are taking over the world and causing volcanic tremors and tsunamis and stuff. Digital books are destroying the age-old, fine tradition of killing trees to make reading material. Agents can't afford their Mercedes payments. And books with fake BDSM themes have surpassed the bible as "BEST BOOK OF ALL-TIME."

Yes, it does sort of seem like the publishing apocalypse is upon us. Thank God we still have big, national-chain bookstores doing well. Haaaaa! Just kidding about that. Yo!

Anyway, I have an idea. Maybe you could take a little tip from some of the indie authors who are pricing their books cheap. Like, $3 and under. I know. I know. You gotta make a living, and so does your art department, and publicity department, and you have your country club dues. I get it. But seriously, give this a try. In particular, it would REALLY HELP OUT YOUR DEBUT AUTHORS WHO ARE TOTALLY GETTING SHAFTED.


So maybe this isn't working so great...

1. You have a debut author with her new release.

2. No one has ever heard of her or read her stuff.

3. You price the book at $8-$10.

4. Folks are all...."YO! I ain't spending 10 bucks on some new unknown author I never read before when I can go get a whole boat-load of books for $1. YO!"

5. New author gets more or less no publicity, has mediocre sales, and no one wins. Not the author, not the reader, not the publisher.



Here's another idea....

1. You have a debut author with her new release.

2. No one has ever heard of her or read her stuff.

3. As a cool, totally hip, happening promo idea, you price the newbie book at $1.99 for a SPECIAL PROMOTIONAL OFFER! To introduce this new writer.

4. Your publishing company looks totally cool because it's offering readers a fabulous deal. Your author is super pumped because you are actually doing something to promote her, even though her name is not EL James. The readers are super psyched because they are sick and tired of getting gouged by the big publishers.

5. Readers buy the book, talk about the book, recommend the book to friends.

6. The high sales offset the low book cost and you make a bundle!

7. The author is happy! The publisher is happy! The readers are happy!

8. Next time the author has a book out, you can increase the price. Now she has a fan base and a following.


EVERYONE IS HAPPY, YO!

Think about it.

Sincerely,
Penelope Yo


p.s. It also really pisses us off when you price the Kindle ebook HIGHER THAN THE MOFO PRINT BOOK, YO!