For some God-forsaken reason, my daughter loves Decapitated Barbie.
That's what I call those huge Barbie heads that were created to practice styling hair, putting on make-up, or perhaps act as a stand-in imaginary friend for sad little girls.
I stupidly purchased Decapitated Barbie for the first time when she was about four years old. After she and her posse of girlfriends were finished with that thing, it looked like Chuckie (see photo below)...
...another disturbing doll, had done unspeakable things to Decapitated Barbie Head that involved Sharpie markers, sharp objects, glitter, and some pink nail polish.
Decapitated Barbie Head was dumped, unceremoniously, into the garbage can.
A few hours later, she showed up on the dining room table.
Undeterred, I tried again. Decapitated Barbie Head was dumped in the trash bin in the garage.
The next day, I found her on the stairs.
OK. So I was perhaps slightly discombobulated by seeing Barbie's glittery eyes staring at me from the stairway.
I covered her with a rag and put her in a trash can hidden in the far corner of the garage.
By dinnertime, Decapitated Barbie mocked me from the kitchen counter.
It was full-on war, and I was determined to win this battle.
On garbage day, I waited until the truck pulled up in front of my house, and hand-delivered Decapitated Barbie to the garbage men. Her hair had been hacked and was standing up like an electrocution victim. Her face was covered with Sharpie doodles. I don't think Ken would have been too keen to go out on a date with this Barbie.
The garbage men, God bless their souls, raised an eyebrow and chucked Decapitated Barbie into their truck.
One month later, as Natalie opened her birthday gifts, I stared horrified at not one, not two, but FOUR Decapitated Barbie heads. Without my knowledge, she had asked all of her friends to get her Decapitated Barbie Head as a birthday gift.
(Yes, my daughter is diabolical if you haven't figured that out yet).
And so the battle continues to this day. Decapitated Barbie Head taunts me. I attempt to dispose of her. And lo and behold, she turns up in the laundry basket. (See photo above I took this morning).
I concede defeat.
Decapitated Barbie Head has kicked my sorry ass.
Some exciting news and updates...
❀ From Tales of Whimsy: "The art is pure whimsy...The story is equally clever and whimsical...Lucy is one fab pooch and I look forward to her future adventures. 5 STARS"
❀ From Darlene Marshall: "The illustrations are dynamic and vibrant, and the story by Nina Clark captures the essence of diva dachshunds."
❀ From Pearls Cast Before A McPig: "...it is an awesome book...the story is cute, touching and funny and the illustrations not only fit the story very well, they're really beautiful in my opinion."
❀ From Babbling About Books: "How can you not want to read about an adorable doxie who becomes a super weenie dog with special powers? Also the illustrations are wonderful!"
❀ From Pam Smallcomb, author of EARTH TO CLUNK: "Lucy (a licking-obsessed wiener dog diva) is sure to tickle the funny bones of young kids and wiener dog-lovers of all ages. The bright, charmingly wacky illustrations build the perfect world for a wiener dog with a newly-found superpower."
❀ From BookHounds: "...absolutely loved it...This should be on any dog lover's book shelf."
ALSO, BookHounds loved LUCY so much, they are offering a give-away! So please stop by to enter the contest. Here is the link...
LUCY THE WONDER WEENIE is now available in paperback and digital formats!
Have a great day! (Even Decapitated Barbie Head)