SPECIAL HOLIDAY DEAL!

SPECIAL HOLIDAY DEAL!
The Klaus Brothers 99 cent BOXED SET for a limited time. Offer ends 12-31-14!

Monday, October 22, 2012

That's Dr. Snooty To You, Bubs


In November, I am attending a literary writer's conference with one of my best buds. I have been advised NOT to divulge the fact that I write...ahem...romance novels. Apparently, this is an extremely "snooty" conference, and romance is frowned upon. 

Accordingly, I'm trying to decide how to introduce myself, in case anyone asks what I write.

Please vote on your favorite!

Hi! I'm Penny Watson and I write...

A) Kinky Mindfuckeria (many thanks to Victoria Morgan for this gem).

B) Veinerschnitzel Fiction (if asked to elaborate on this, I will respond "lumberjack veinerschnitzel and dachshund-ish veinerschnitzel").

C) My writing cannot be defined by any genre. It will BLOW YOUR MIND.

D) Elfin-inspired fantasy fiction, sort of like Lord of the Rings, only actually nothing like that. But it could be.

E) A book about Santa Claus (if asked if I write children's fiction, I will respond..."Is it okay if Santa has sex?" and see what happens).

F) Turfgrass Manuals.

G) Zombie apocalyptic fiction.


I'm hoping any of these will make a good impression with the snooty crowd. And of course I'll be wearing my tiara, which should elevate my status to "super" snooty.

Any favorites? Other ideas? Let me know!

Happy Week To All!
Penny



20 comments:

Kate George/Bodacious Betty said...

Personally, I think you should just say you write the most popular form of fiction and let them wonder what that is.

Darlene Marshall said...

I like them all! Good for you for standing up for Team Romance. They can sneer all they want, but we know what readers want.

Steph from fangswandsandfairydust.com said...

I would tell them to eff off and leave.

Seriously, if they look down on romance novels why the hell invite a romance novelist?

Tell them you write sant-a-rotica.

Actually, when I got up to speak, I would say I am a writer, and (lean down towards the mic as if confiding in the audience) here's a secret, I was asked not to divulge in which genre I write because you all might look down upon it as too base, too popular, too lucrative... Do you really feel that way??? Should I assume this room is so full of snooty writers of literature (in other words, boring books that no one buys) that you would discredit what I say?

Okay, well then, I used to write textbooks but then I decided to wake up and smell the coffee. I decided to write about something people really care about. Thank you and Good night.

Juju at Tales of Whimsy.com said...

Ha! I LOVE it.
How about I putting the humor in sexy?

Julia Barrett said...

Tell them your identity must remain a secret. Don't elaborate. Be all mysterious!

Penelope said...

Kate....I LOVE that answer. Good one!

Penelope said...

Hi Darlene! I consider myself an Ambassador O' Romance. It's a very important job.

Penelope said...

Steph...I could also mix the sacred and profane...such as, turfgrass romance. Mixing it up.

Penelope said...

Juju...I'm sure if they hear I've self-pubbed, I will have to stand in the corner. With a dunce cap. Uh oh!

Penelope said...

Julia....I likey! I could also wear a mask. A glittery mask!

Steph from fangswandsandfairydust.com said...

Don't forget your tiara.

Christine DePetrillo said...

You could face snottiness with snottiness and go all collegiate on their asses and say, "I write social commentaries on the importance of beards in defining the sexual prowess of modern man."

Tasha B. said...

I like B. Nothing sounds snootier than using fereign words. ;)

Penelope said...

Steph...I'm packing a nice selection of tiaras for different occasions. :^)

Penelope said...

Christine...HAAAAAA!!!!! Oh dear Lordy. I wonder how many literary writers have beards? Hmmm...

Penelope said...

Tasha--this is true. I'll have to pepper my discussions with some special "Penelope" language.

Tom Janikowski said...

Safe travels to you, Penny.

Tom Stronach said...

Penelope my sweet It won't matter a shit what they think at the beginning of the conference, by the end of it they will Lurv ya xxxx

Penelope said...

Thanks, Tom J!

Penelope said...

Tom S--I hope you're right. I'll be on my "best" behavior for sure. Only 5 martinis per night instead of the usual dozen. ;^)