Monday, March 26, 2012

Excuse Me While I Smoke This #2 Pencil.....



I have pencils on the brain for two reasons.

#1) My son has his MCAS test this week, so we loaded him up with #2 nicely sharpened pencils.

#2) I have a to-do list with 103 items on it. Yes, you read that correctly. One hundred. And three. Items. Now, to be fair, some are high-priority (take Lucy for rabies shot...TODAY!) and some are low-priority (take down the backyard fence that has been disintegrating for the last 5 years). Other items on this list include purchasing a tiara for NEC Conference, entertaining Julia Barrett when she visits Boston in April, and prepare promo workshop titled "Penelope Channels Miss Manners: How To Promote Yourself Without Peeving Everyone Off." Stuff like that.

I have the to-do list sub-divided into WORK, HOUSE, KIDS, FINANCES, HEALTH, VACATIONS/CAMP, etc. Also, color-coded.

What does this have to do with pencils? Well, I'm slightly stressed out about the fact that I have over one hundred items to get done in the next month. When I'm stressed, I miss smoking. When I miss smoking, I "smoke" a #2 pencil to take the edge off. Does it work? Hell no, it doesn't freakin' work! (Other things I do to alleviate stress include snuggling with the weenie dog, guzzling red wine and walking around the neighborhood like a maniac).

Here's a pic of what I look like at the moment. (Note: "Crazy Eyes," Ariel tiara, and totally unsympathetic weenie dog licking my face).



Lucy is unimpressed with my To-Do List. In her humble opinion, the list should include only three things....

1. Feed weenie dog.
2. Snuggle with weenie dog.
3. Allow weenie dog to lick me for 17 straight hours until my skin falls off.

Hopefully, I will be able to cross off at least a couple of things from this list today. Maybe I'll get the list into double-digit territory! I CAN DO IT!

Oh My God It's Monday Already Somebody Help Me,
Penelope

9 comments:

lemonverbenalady said...

OMG, LOL, you my young vibrant friend have a way of making me laugh just about every Monday morning. You know I quit smoking 31 years ago (Before cigs were a $1 a pack!) and I never have urges to have a smoke! I have substituted food for smoking, but actually when I'm upset I find other things to do (wink, wink). If you believe that, I have a north shore connector to sell you! Just love the photo of you and dear Lucy. What she has to put up with! xxoo Nancy

Amber Skyze said...

LOL OMG I needed a laugh this morning. I'm looking forward to your workshop and seeing Julia! Only a month away.

Amber Skyze said...

PS...I quit 19 yrs ago. It does get better.

Penelope said...

Hi Nancy! When I started smoking in college, it was $1.25 a pack. I can't believe how expensive it is now! Another good reason to quit (which I did 25 years ago, but I still crave them when I'm stressed....a sad psychological dilemma!)

Penelope said...

Amber....party at the NEC conference! Woo hoo! I quit 25 yrs ago. Oh my God.....I'm so old! Ack!

Tom Stronach said...

I'm having a fag in your name

I don't do 'To do lists' any more as I found I never did anything on them

Penelope said...

Tom--you bad, bad boy! Can I please inhale your second hand smoke? *taking deep, deep, really deep breath* Ahhhhhhhh!

Julia Rachel Barrett said...

Uh, your eyes are popping out of your head... or maybe your Ariel headband is too tight! Yikes!
I feel your stress. Must eat chocolate in sympathy.
And I do love nice sharp Number Two pencils.

Penelope said...

Julia....that's actually a good theory about my eyeballs. This tiara is meant to be worn by a 5 year old, so that's probably it.