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Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Wacky Wednesday



Sometimes I think my life might be an episode of the Twilight Zone. Here are some insane things I've seen in the last couple of weeks....

1.) Heading on an author's website...."If You Like "So-N-So" Author, Then You'll Love Me!" That's right. Her whole branding concept was copying someone else. Are you kidding me?

2.) Author photo at Goodreads.....totally, completely, unequivocally buck naked. Uh huh. Someone used a nude photo as her "head shot." Sigh. Even if you write erotica, you don't need to be a porn star. That's taking branding just a bit too far. Just saying.

3.) An author who has a paypal button on her website for "donations to a struggling writer." Just in case you want to donate money to a stranger for no good reason except she is a writer who, evidently, doesn't think she's making enough money. Now excuse me while I go stand outside on the street corner with my tin cup.

4.) Note to authors: Promo is YOUR responsibility, not mine. Quit asking me to "like" you on Facebook, rate you on Amazon, etc. If someone leaves a review or rating or whatever, that's great. But asking your readers to do stuff for you in order to promote your books is totally uncool. Not their responsibility. YOUR responsibility.

5.) This is so gross, I can barely type it. Uh...uh....I saw an author bio at Amazon where the woman discusses....uh....uh....masturbating....while she writes. *falls over in a faint*

6.) *revives self with enormous cup of coffee* I'm back! My new favorite observation at twitter: Folks promoting their Christmas books with the #BDSM hashtag. Coz nothing says "sacred religious holiday" like some spanky time. (I'm waiting for the #Ho tag).

7.) Sweet Magik is currently #1 on the fairy tale romance bestseller list at Bookstrand. The overall bestseller list is all erotica. And not just erotica. Erotica with MMMFMMMMMM and MMFFFFFMMMMFFFFMMMM and....oh nevermind...you get the idea. I guess the new attitude in erotica is....The More, The Merrier! The titles have words like "hogtying," "overexposed," "master," "bikers," and "raw." I think the only way my little Christmas book has any chance of getting on their bestseller list is if I change the title to "Hogtying An Elf." Which isn't going to happen any time soon.

8.) And to cleanse your palate of all these unsavory bits, here is an adorable photo of a weenie dog pup...


Feel better? I sure do!

Penelope

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Have A Very Spanky Christmas



I'm not exactly sure what spanking has to do with Christmas, but for some reason it seems to be a recurring theme with the holiday erotica stories. Nothing says Christmas like BDSM! (Well, actually, I can think of a lot of things that are more appropriate for the holidays, but nevertheless, I am still reading these wacky books).

Here is a quickie holiday reading update.....

1.) All I Want For Christmas Is You by Lisa Mondello

This is a very sweet and romantic holiday story. Kyle is a wonderful hero who longs for a family of his own. Lauren and her daughter Kristen have fallen on hard times, and need a miracle. I adore stories that focus on family as a holiday theme, and this book fits the bill. This is a traditional holiday tale. 

Grade: A-/B+

2.) Snowed In With Santa by Sue Lyndon

This started out with a good premise and a lot of potential, but unfortunately, the ending was rushed and got fairly ridiculous. Santa is a secret dom looking for a tushy to spank. Alana drives through a snow storm to a stranger's house, gets snowed in, and discovers the joys of submission. Merrrrrrry Christmas! Hee heee....just kidding.

Grade: C+

3.) Christmas Elf by Tielle St Clare

I LOVED this one! The first half of the book has no sex....just a build up of sexual attraction between an innocent elf kicked out of the North Pole and a jaded businessman who has lost his Christmas spirit. The second half of the book was extremely erotic...but the story also manages to be sweet and satisfying. And very holiday-themed....about family, love, and capturing the spirit of Christmas. Also filled with humor and hilarious dialogue. LOVED it!

Grade: A

4.) My Everything by Julia Barrett

This was my only non-holiday reading for the week. Once again I am blown away by Julia's talent. I am not usually a big lover of romantic suspense, but this book was so good I inhaled it. The initial premise for the story is high on coincidence, but I didn't care. It is very sexy, very intense, and the pacing of the storyline was perfect. Barrett does a great job weaving the erotic portion of the story with the suspenseful plotline. There may have been a smidge too much sex for me (quit laughing), but otherwise this story was close to perfect. Very compelling and entertaining read.

Grade: A

Hope everyone has recovered from their Thanksgiving feasts! Today is all about walking and lettuce for moi!
Penelope

Monday, November 28, 2011

Baby It's Cold Outside


I watched "Elf" last night (for the 10 millionth time). Which reminded me how much I love this song. Zoey Deschanel does a cute job, but the classic Ella Fitzgerald will always be my favorite. Enjoy!


Happy Monday!
Penelope

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Happy Beard Of The Thanksgiving Holiday Weekend!



What's more delicious than turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce and home-made pumpkin pie?

Sean Bean's scruffy beard! Nom nom nom......

Happy Beard Of The Day!
Penelope

Friday, November 25, 2011

Black Friday Sale At Wild Rose Press!


The Wild Rose Press is having a special Black Friday sale today.....30% off all ebooks, including both of mine....Sweet Inspiration and Sweet Magik. Use Code e8f302ffef for the sale.

They are also giving away a free Gourmet Cookbook for the holiday season.

Stop by and check out the deals!

Sweet Magik is also still on sale at Fictionwise.

Hope everyone survived Turkey Day. My Gingerbread Man cocktail was a big success. And so was our dinner...it was delish.

And for all of you crazies who are going to the mall today....*shudder*....Go Get 'Em! I wouldn't be caught dead in that place on Black Friday.

Ciao!
Penny

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

When Penny Goes To The Dark Side.....


Hee hee heeee! How great is this pic?

Huge thanks to Scott Fiander, who is the artist for RJ Silver, for creating this incredibly life-like portrait of me on the dark side. (Except my boobs aren't that perky, and my fingernails aren't that talon-like). Otherwise, it's a dead ringer.

Scott mentioned that he is a blogging "noob" and I told him I was the opposite....a haggard old bitty with a butt hanging out of my mouth and a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand. He was inspired, as you can see.

I'm thinking that this portrait makes me look like a real writer....in the tradition of Ernest Hemingway....


I got my turkey, I got the booze, now I have to....clean my house. Dammit!

The turkey don't care if the toilets are clean,
Penelope

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Who Needs A Turkey?


Here's what I accomplished on Monday....

1. Read Sexy Secret Santa by Paige Tyler....a short, cute, sexy holiday story. Fun!

2. Started All I Want For Christmas Is You by Lisa Mondello. So far, so good. It's the complete opposite of Paige's book. No sex, but very sweet and loving and I'm enjoying it a lot. (See! There are so many facets to my personality...hee hee!).

3. Bought a butt-load of alcoholic beverages for Thanksgiving Dinner.

I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now. Who knows what Tuesday will bring?

ETA: SWEET MAGIK is finally available on Fictionwise....and it's on sale! $5.74 regular price, and $4.88 if you're a club member. 

Fa la la la la,
Penelope

Monday, November 21, 2011

Quickie Holiday Reviews...Fa La La La La!


I reignited my holiday reading obsession this past weekend. Here are three quickie reviews.....


Santa's Wayward Elf by Paige Tyler

My favorite for the weekend! This is an adorable, well-written holiday romance. One of Santa's elves gets lost in the Big Apple and has an unexpected adventure with a hot cop. Tyler did a great job with this story. It's a fun twist on the legend of Santa Claus and the North Pole, with a romantic suspense plot-line.  The characters were wonderful, the sex was hot, and the ending was sweet. The pacing was spot-on until the crime story took over a bit at the end, but otherwise this was close to perfect. I will definitely be reading more books by Paige Tyler.

Grade: 5 Jumbo Mugs of Eggnog! (A-)

❅❅❅❅❅

Home For Christmas by Kate Davies

This was a freebie, and started out with a lot of potential. I love stories that have characters who are in their forties. This one has a widow and her late husband's business partner heading off on a romantic cruise. Unfortunately, it didn't deliver. It felt like a bad Harly novel....superficial, no real emotional connection between the H/h, flat sex scenes, and an abrupt ending. Big bummer.

Grade: 3 Limp Candy Canes (C+)

❄❄❄❄❄

Risky Christmas: Holiday Secrets/Kidnapped At Christmas by Jill Sorenson and Jennifer Morey

So far, I've only read the first story of this Harlequin anthology...Jill Sorenson's Holiday Secrets. A wimpy heroine with lots of issues (fear of swimming, fear of the Mob boss who killed her husband, fear of the cute guy next door) falls head over heels for a totally adorable, sexy, I want-one-in-my-stocking-please handyman surfer dude. Schwing! She has 2 kids and is in the witness protection program. He has a hammer and a surfboard. They're perfect for each other! Hee hee. Actually, this story is very sweet, and I loved loved loved the hero. The wimpy heroine grows a pair by the end of the book and (A) learns how to swim (after a sexy lesson with the hero), (B) thwarts the Mob boss (with some help from her boyfriend's truck), and (C) saves her surfer dude and gets an HEA! Cute story!

Grade: 4 Plump Gingerbread Boys (B)

❆❆❆❆❆

Ho Ho Ho!
Penelope

Saturday, November 19, 2011

I Ain't Got Nobody

Time for Saturday's Blast From The 1980s Past Music Video.....inspired by RJ Silver's post today (I Want To Be A Gigolo).

From 1986, it's David Lee Roth.....enjoy! Hee heeeee!



Selling each romance,
Penelope

Friday, November 18, 2011

Beard Of The Day


And today's choice for Beard of the Day is......drumroll please.....Michael Fassbender!

Yowzah!

Some things about Michael....
1. He's an Irish-German actor, and speaks German fluently.
2. He played Rocky McRochester in the 2011 Jane Eyre! Rock-y! Rock-y!
3. He was an altar boy when he was little.

This guy is hot. And he definitely looks hotter w/ his beard than clean-shaven. Intense, sexy....beard-a-licious!

Hope everyone has a great Friday and a great weekend. I am planning my Thanksgiving menu....turkey, cranberry sauce, jumbo martini.....

Penelope

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Quickie Interview With RJ Silver


One of my favorite discoveries in 2011 was a new-to-me author who combines snappy writing, sarcastic humor, and a dollop of romance in his witty short stories. (My other favorite discoveries in 2011 are Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Lovers 85% Cacao Bar and the Etsy site. More on those later!).

Back to RJ. He's an alien. He's hilarious. And he has a book with the word "penis" in the title. Since I have a penchant for reading train wrecks (can you say Bearotica?) I immediately jumped at the chance to read The Princess and The Penis, thinking it would be excellent fodder for a train wreck post. Little did I know.... it was cute, funny and a hysterical satire of the romance genre. 

Following that unexpected discovery, I quickly read RJ's other stories...The Ballerina, The Gymnast and The Yoga Master, and his latest story, My Third-World Girlfriend. I also started stalking following him on Twitter, at Goodreads, on Facebook, and sending him disturbing fan mail complimentary emails. 

Since he hasn't taken out a restraining order yet, I think he likes me!

RJ was gracious enough to answer a few questions for me today. And he is offering all my readers a totally cool freebie. You can download The Ballerina, The Gymnast and The Yoga Master (my favorite!) for free at Smashwords....use this coupon: CA54Q. Thanks, RJ!

Here's my Interview With RJ......

1.     What is the funniest thing you’ve ever read? Snorting out loud, embarrassing yourself in a public place sort of funny?

My last divorce settlement was pretty funny, in a cup-your-hands-over-your-face , crying sort of way.  Joseph Heller’s Catch-22 was pretty good, too, perhaps because it helped me better understand what happened in the settlement.

2.     Micro-brew from Vermont or Budweiser?

Micro-brew from Vermont. There’s nothing I love more than an adventure with an unpredictable ending.

3.     If you had to join one reality TV show, what would it be?

            Lost. I know it only aired for a season or two, but I feel as if I’m still filming.

4.     What’s the coolest place you’ve ever lived?

Downtown Bangkok. Such a bustling, energetic place. The fact I didn’t have a job for the year seemed to help, too.

5.     What’s the best color combination? A.) Blue and White B.) Navy and Orange C.) Black and Gold ....Follow-up question….How many terrible towels do you own?

Black and Gold, of course. But, actually, I don’t own any terrible towels.  I try not to own anything anymore, mainly because it makes a quick escape so much easier.

6.     What’s the wackiest fan comment you’ve ever received?

One woman insisted I write about a vagina (hence my post, The Vagina Conundrum).  Thankfully, I’m in a meaningful relationship, otherwise that might have spurred another 25 years of in-depth research.

7.     Do you plan to write any other books about penises? Just wondering.

No, but I am working on a story involving testicles.  It’s about twins.

8.     What’s the best “I just fucked up and have to get my girlfriend a suck-up gift” purchase? A) Flowers B) Candy C) 25 karat diamond tiara D) All of the above, and a new SUV wouldn’t be a bad idea either

Surprisingly, it was a new SUV. Not very smart, considering that woman had just run over her husband multiple times in Houston.

9.     Any special care for your antenna? Conditioners? Hair mousse? Does your girlfriend try to put a bow on it….sort of like a yorkie? See photo below….





          I don’t know what she does with my antenna, but sometimes, when I wake up, the top of my head is sore.  As for special care, no.  It’s up there in the fresh air and the sunshine, with no folds or crevices to worry about, so it pretty much takes care of itself.
             

10. If someone had to play you in a movie, who would it be?

Jack Nicholson, hands down.  He’s been crazy (One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest), had serious women problems (The Witches of Eastwick), and has firsthand experience working with Aliens (Mars Attacks).  Jack, call me.



Oh....I LOVE Jack! Good one! He would look great with an antenna on his head, too. Well, it's always good to have a fellow Stillers fan (that's "Steelers" for all you non-Pittsburghers) on my site. Thanks for stopping by.

For anyone looking for a quick, funny, clever, well-written story, I recommend any of RJ's books...

The Princess And The Penis
The Ballerina, The Gymnast and The Yoga Master (use coupon CA54Q)
My Third-World Girlfriend

Also, check out his website and blog....he has some hilarious posts! And all of the adorable cartoons are done by Scott Fiander.

Well, I'm off to wave my terrible towel and guzzle down a Magic Hat #9. Please leave a comment for RJ and say hi!

Penelope

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Holding Hands


It's pretty easy to lose sight of true romance. I'm not talking about the well-worn clichés....the single red rose, or the declaration of love on the beach at sunset. I'm talking about simple gestures.

If you read a lot of romance/erotica, you're probably somewhat jaded. After reading a super-orgy scene with seven battle-hardened generals, a riding crop, and an unfortunate sex slave, you might forget that simple is best. (And probably a lot less painful).

For me, the most simple, sweet and pure gesture of love is holding hands. 

People say that eyes are the "windows to our soul." But I think hands are the windows to our souls, our personalities, our lives. Do we have flashy painted fingernails? Cuts and scrapes from working in the garden? Ink marks? Marker smudges from our children? Chocolate under our nails from baking? Every wrinkle and scar are badges of honor. Our hands create, heal, connect.

There is nothing more romantic than that first joining of hands. Reaching for another. Linking yourself to a soul-mate. Exploring, tentative, this new union.

Joining hands is not just for romantic lovers. It connects parent and child, aged and youth, friend with friend.

There is certainly a time and place for lusty love scenes, graphically depicted. But when all is said and done, sometimes the best part of those scenes is the aftermath, when two lovers spoon each other in slumber, hands interlocked, souls finally at peace.

Off to the bus-stop with my daughter....holding her hand all the way,
Penelope

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Oskar's Interview at Not Now...I'm Reading!


Please stop by Not Now...I'm Reading and check out Oskar's interview with Jen and Juju. They are discussing elves, snowboarding, and O's tattoo collection. They are also giving away copies of Sweet Inspiration and Sweet Magik. Don't miss it!

Penny

Monday, November 14, 2011

Monday Morning Updates: Winners and Sinners!


1. First bit o' business....the winner of the Sweet Magik Giveaway. Congrats to ODDERIE (Audrey!)....you have won a copy of Sweet Magik and the cute holiday necklace! Yee haw! Merry Christmas to you from Oskar and all the Klaus Brothers!

2. Some good news.....Sweet Magik is on the bestseller list at Bookstrand.com for the Fairy Tales/Myths category. It also got another great review from Jen at Not Now....I'm Reading. She says..."I LOVED this story. It had a little bit of everything: action, adventure, mystery, romance and plenty of fan yourself moments....Most importantly, [Penny] infuses her stories with the things I think are the most important part of holiday spirit: family, love and friendship." Wow! What a great review....I am stoked! Happy Monday morning! (ETA: And another nice review from Tales Of Whimsy).

3. My daughter had her final soccer game of the season yesterday. After dancing on the field, chatting with her buds during the game, giggling after the ball bounced off her head, she finally found her mojo. She had 2 incredible shots on goal, was sprinting all over the field, and when another player was pushing her around, she threw her elbow and knocked the kid out of the way. Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! Proud Mommy Moment.

4. Finally....the "Sinners." As I perused the bestseller list at Bookstrand this weekend, I found a book that threw me for a loop. At first I thought it must be a typo. Then, I realized it was actually an "orgy-style" book? Not sure what term to use for this one exactly, but here's the category description....

MMMMMMM

That's right, folks. Seven! Count them, seven guys having an orgy. The book blurb includes the words "lush firm buttocks," "battle-hardened generals," and "riding crop." Needless to say, I was stymied. How could 7 guys get it on at the same time? Wouldn't some of the guys get bored waiting for their turn? Maybe they played with an ipod while waiting in line. Or talked sports. All I know is that one poor little sex slave could not possibly service 6 horny generals at the same time. And I have NO intention of reading this book to find out otherwise.

Well, I hope everyone has a great week!

Penelope

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Something About You

Yesterday while I was shopping for dinner, this song came on at the grocery store. I started dancing in the aisles! Hee heee... I saw Level 42 and Stevie Winwood in concert at West Point in 1987? It was a fantastic concert.



Happy Weekend!
Penelope

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Pho


I am obsessed with soup. I already made chicken & chick pea soup this week, and enjoyed chicken & rice soup at my favorite Chinese restaurant.

Today I am making this quick and dirty Pho recipe....with chicken. It's light, flavorful, healthy and perfect for a nippy fall day! While searching for Pho recipes, I found 2 types. Some of them started out this way...."Find a chicken. Bring it home. Kill it. Butcher it. Let the hacked up carcass simmer for 192 hours in a cast iron pot that's been in your family for 14 generations....." The other recipes went something like this...."Buy pre-cooked chicken cubes and a box of chicken stock...." Since I'm a lazy ass, I'm going with the quick and dirty version....


Quick and Dirty Pho

Ingredients:
4 oz. noodles (rice vermicelli, or bun)
6 c. chicken stock (mine comes from a box!)
2 T fish sauce
4 cloves minced garlic
2 T minced fresh ginger
1 T minced lemon grass
5 scallions, chopped
2 c. shredded chicken (I poach mine, then shred it)
1 c. bean sprouts
1 c. bok choy

for toppings....limes, bean sprouts, basil, cilantro, mint, hot sauce

Directions:

1. Cook noodles.
2. Put chicken stock, fish sauce, ginger, lemon grass and scallions in a pot...bring to a boil. Reduce to simmer, cook for 10 minutes. Add in chicken, bean sprouts and bok choy. Cook for about 5 minutes.
3. Put noodles in bowl, pour pho over noodles. Garnish with extra sprouts and herbs. Squeeze fresh lime juice on top...don't forget that part. That's the best part! :^)

Yum! Enjoy!

Happy Soup Day,
Penelope

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

In The Matter Of Full Disclosure....


Authors are getting "outed" and I figured this was just as good a time as any to come clean. It's not that I wanted to deceive my fans, but it was just part of my branding to be a slightly chubby, big-haired heterosexual white girl from Pittsburgh.

It's difficult to write romance and have folks take you seriously when you look like this....


Sigh. I know. It's not pretty. I'm actually a Bonaire Giant Sea Anemone. Condylactis gigantea. It's pretty embarrassing. I'm not cute and cuddly. I have stinging cells on the tips of my tentacles.

If I were writing sci fi or marine biology textbooks, this would make for perfect branding. But alas, it's not so great for romance. How do you hug someone with stinging tentacles? It's difficult....really difficult. Although not impossible. Just ask my husband. He's a super good sport about the whole thing.

Folks seem to forget that authors have this ultra amazing thing called....imagination. We don't have to be a man to write from a man's POV. We don't have to be gay to write a gay story. We don't have to be a vampire to write about sparkly blood-sucking guys. And most importantly, we don't have to be terrestrial vertebrates to write about them.

I hope you don't all hate me now. Don't come too close or I'll sting the crap out of you.

With the utmost sincerity.... (Seriously. I'm not kidding this time),
Penelope

Monday, November 7, 2011

Now THAT'S What I'm Talking About


After reading the extremely disappointing Northern Fascination by Jennifer LaBrecque, which falsely advertised a rugged-looking bearded hero on the front cover (he was actually an executive weenie with a blackberry), I was thrilled to discover Primal Calling by Jillian Burns last night. This is another Harlequin Blaze, but this one did not disappoint. The hero was authentic through and through...a half-Inuit, big-bearded, Alaskan pilot who was gruff and scowling and beardy and grumpy. My kind of hero, baby! The heroine was fine (a prissy city girl who gets into a lot of trouble), the Alaskan setting was fully utilized (unlike the other book), and there was even some cool spiritual, magical Shaman-y stuff going on. Big Bonus: The appearance of the Snowy Owl, which is one of my favorite birds.

This book still had some typical Harlequin-style writing...

"Even hidden behind the shaggy hair and beard he was a handsome man. But there was something more. Something in the depth of his dark brown eyes that called to her."

What do you mean, "hidden behind the....beard?" Is she crazy?

This is a pretty lusty book, but the part that I liked the best was the satisfying ending....the tortured hero finally healed by a priss in high heels. Go Harly, Go Harly, Go Harly!

There was only one little, teeny-tiny, irritating problem with this book.....

He shaves off his beard.

NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For the girl.

If my guy shaved his beard, I would fling him off a cliff. Just once I would like the heroine to say "Your beard kicks ass, honey. Let's get it on!"

Anyhow, this book promises a rugged, bearded Alaskan man, and it delivers.

Grade: A-/B+ (for beard-shaving disaster)

And in other news.....

The contest/giveaway for Sweet Magik is still going on....leave a comment!

Please stop by Julia Rachel Barrett's site today....I did a totally schizophrenic interview where I actually interviewed my own self. It's.....very unusual! Hee heeeeee!

ETA: And another great review for Sweet Magik at Romancing Rakes....yippee!

Happy Monday To Everyone,
Penelope

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Sunday Cocktail


I have been researching holiday cocktail recipes to post on my website. (Wipes sweat from my brow and utters long-suffering sigh). Here's one that looks ridiculously good. I foresee a trip to the package store today to investigate the schnapps collection.


1 part Bailey's Irish Cream
1 part Goldschläger (Swiss cinnamon Schnapps)
1 part butterscotch Schnapps
1 part Vodka

Combine in cocktail shaker w/ ice....skake it up, baby....strain into shot glasses. Get toasted! (I mean....toasty. Get toasty!)

Happy Sunday!
Pen

Friday, November 4, 2011

Happy Release Day For Sweet Magik! Time For Another Giveaway!


The day is finally here! Sweet Magik (Klaus Brothers Series #2) is now available as an ebook and in print! (See linkies at the bottom of this post!) To celebrate, Penny and the Klaus Brothers are hosting a party today and giving away a copy of Sweet Magik and this adorable holiday necklace.....


(Yes, it got it from Etsy. So sue me!).


Please leave a comment after the post and you will be entered in the giveaway. Winners announced next week.


For those of you not familiar with the Klaus family, here's a cheat sheet....


Santa: Head Honcho for Klaus Enterprises
Nicholas Klaus: Oldest son of Santa, master pastry chef, owns Klaus Küche in the North Pole
Sven: Master Toy Builder at the North Pole, a.k.a Hippy Boy
Wolfgang: Director of Charitable Donations....buff and beardy! (schwing!)
Gregor: Financial guru....rocks a goatee
Oskar: Director of Elfin Resources, green-haired snowboarding punk, Bad Boy
Ingo: Elf at the North Pole


Penny: Let's get ready to party! Time to put on my 1980s itunes mix and get out the peppermint schnapps. Woo hoo! (Penny starts busting a move to "Push It" by Salt-N-Pepa)


Oskar: (blanches) What is she doing?


Sven: (doubled over with laughter) I think she's doing a cabbage patch....


Nicholas: Can someone please pull the plug on the ipod dock? Please? I'm begging you....


Wolfie: Not yet! This is entertaining. (takes incriminating photo with cell phone)


Gregor: (clears throat) Excuse me. Penny. Um, aren't we supposed to be talking about your latest book?


Penny: Huh? Oh yeah. (takes big swig from martini glass) Okay. Let's talk about Sweet Magik. Oskar, how psyched are you? It's your big day. You finally have your own book!


Oskar: Oh, super psyched for sure. Chucking my bachelorhood for the old ball-n-chain is a big thrill.


Penny: Are you being sarcastic?


Nicholas: Don't worry, O. I'm sure Penny fixed you up with the perfect woman. I got the perfect woman for me, after all. (Read all about Nicholas' holiday adventure in Sweet Inspiration).


Gregor: Or.....Penny may have used her writing powers for evil, instead of good.


Oskar: What's that supposed to mean?


Wolfie: (chuckles) Penny wouldn't do that.


Sven: (shoots Oskar a shit-eating grin) Yeah, seriously Oskar. I'm sure Penny has forgiven you for filling her stocking with coal last year.


Penny: (narrows eyes) Not really. I was expecting scented soaps and gift cards.


Gregor whispers to Oskar.....


Oskar: (clears his throat): I'm sure your stocking will be filled with itunes gift cards this year. So you can download more of that shitty, 1980s crap.... (Gregor whispers to him again)..... I mean, all those wonderful classics you love.


Penny: You know what this party needs?


Sven: Lumberjacks?


Wolfie: Super models?


Gregor: Champagne would be nice. Peppermint schnapps is so juvenile...


Penny: (shakes her head) No. What this party needs is.....Celine Dion's Holiday Mix!


All Klaus Brothers groan in unison.


Oskar: Dear God, make it stop.


Penny: Nothing gets me in the holiday mood more than that music. I just love Celine!


Ingo: Hi Penny! How are you?


Penny: Ingo! So good to see you. These guys are giving me a hard time about my musical selection. Don't elves listen to music while they work?


Ingo: (nods) Yah. I like Tchaikovsky's "The Nutcracker."


Penny: Uh, okay. That's....nice.


Sven: (laughs) I don't think the elves listen to Brit Brit while they work.


Penny: That's super hilarious, Hippy Boy. How's the recycling going this year?


Sven: (lifts a glass bottle out of the cardboard bin) Good for me. Not so good for you. Slacker.


Wolfie: Any hints about Oskar's love life? I can't wait to see what happens in Sweet Magik.


Penny: Well.... I'll give you a few hints. If you like snowboarding and surfing and librarians and magic and snowball fights and demons and evil elves and nice elves and conflicted elves and sexy time and magical snowmen and parties and Star Wars-style epic battles, then Sweet Magik is the book for you!


All Klaus Brothers look stunned.


Oskar: For cripes sakes, Pen. You even got Star Wars in there?


Penny: Of course. It's my favorite movie.


Gregor: (nods head thoughtfully) Wow. That sounds....


Nicholas: Interesting.


Wolfie: Strange.


Sven: Totally wack.


Gregor: Totally Penny.


Oskar: I just hope you didn't pair me up with a brown bagger or something.


Penny: Of course not. She is beautiful and kind and courageous. You deserve nothing less than that. In spite of the coal-in-my-stocking fiasco.


Oskar: (blows out a relieved breath of air) Cool!


All Klaus Brothers high five Oskar!


Penny: Thanks to everyone who stopped by today. Please leave a comment for Oskar and the gang. One lucky commenter will win a copy of Sweet Magik (ebook) as well as the adorable holiday necklace. 


A few early review snippets are dribbling in for Sweet Magik.....


From Julie at Outlandish Dreaming.... "Heartwarming holiday romance."
From Katiebabs at Babbling About Books..."Perfect holiday read."
From Christi at Smitten With Reading...."[Sweet Magik] is full of adventure, suspense, danger, romance and at its heart, it is full of Christmas magic." See full review here!
From Gaby at Oh My Books..."If you are looking for a heart warming romance for this Christmas, this one is for you!" See full review here!


I am stoked!


Purchase Sweet Magik (print copy) at The Wild Rose Press.
Purchase Sweet Magik (print copy) at Amazon.
Purchase ebook at The Wild Rose Press.
Purchase ebook on Amazon Kindle!






Book Blurb:



Oskar Klaus' job is killing him. Not even his favorite hobbies (extreme snowboarding and browsing old bookstores) are enough to snap him out of his funk. It's not easy living in the shadow of four successful older brothers and a father named Santa. Little does he know that a kiss on New Year's Eve is about to turn his life upside-down.

Kiana Grant's Manhattan life is a world away from her childhood in Oahu. She traded sunsets and surfing for a respectable career in library science, but Oskar Klaus is a temptation that's hard to resist. Before she knows it, she's in the midst of an outrageous adventure in the North Pole, dealing with mischievous elves, wicked demons, and a devastating attraction to Santa's youngest son.

There's just one problem...a bitter elf hell-bent on revenge threatens the future of everyone in the North Pole, even Santa himself...

❅❅❅

Excerpt for SWEET MAGIK.....

             He never heard the end of the countdown.

            One minute he was leaning toward her, and the next he was lost in a tropical Eden. Sweet and lush, surrounded by warm breezes and the feel of sand beneath his bare feet. The scent of perfumed flowers filled the air, and he groaned as Kiana's slender arms wound around his neck. She let out a breathy sigh just before her lips touched his. So softly, so gently, he wasn't sure if it was real. He brushed his mouth over hers and she opened for him, tasting of tea and honey and paradise. Greedy for more, his hands slid under her baggy blouse, stroking the smooth skin of her back. He pressed her closer until he felt the pounding beat of her heart against his chest. Her fingers fluttered like a butterfly against the stubble on his cheek, finally resting there and tracing his jaw.

            He deepened the kiss, pushing her back against the cushions of the sofa, devouring her mouth. Her leg hooked over his knee pushing the drab gray skirt up her thigh. A long expanse of soft skin rubbed against his trousers. Without thinking, he moved a hand to her leg and dragged his palm along the bare skin. He could swear he heard the sound of the ocean, waves crashing and returning to sea. He moaned and Kiana gasped in delight. He was having difficulty breathing, so he pulled back, nipping her lip on the way. The heat of a scorching sun bathed his body, and before his eyes finally snapped open, he heard the faint sound of a ukulele playing. Then, silence.

            His eyes opened and he found himself sitting in the darkened corner of the living room, alone on the sofa. In his hands he held a pair of tortoise shell glasses.

            Kiana was gone.


❆❆❆



Merry Christmas To All And To All A Good Night!
Penelope

Thursday, November 3, 2011

A Touch Of Whimsy, A Scruffy Kiss & A First Review: Happy Thursday!


Happy Thursday! I am extremely happy that Wednesday is over. In summary, I accidentally deleted a 1300-word blog post, then spent an hour trying to retrieve it, then gave up and rewrote the whole damned thing, then exploded a jar of pasta sauce in my white kitchen, then smashed my leg in the car door, and then had a epic battle with my daughter about her homework.

Happy Thursday!

In an effort to make myself feel better last night, I surfed Etsy for cute Christmas-y stuff, and I watched the season premiere of Top Chef (fun!). The whimsical bookmark above was one of the sweetest, most whimsical things I found while on-line shopping. So cute! Here is the link for it on Etsy.

I also re-read Liz Carlyle's No True Gentleman, which is on my all-time fav historical list. Here's a nice paragraph from the book. Note the POV changes within the same paragraph. Carlyle has them popping back and forth throughout this book.

"Catherine gasped but did not draw away. Instead, her fingers curled into the fabric of his cloak, dragging her body against his. The gasp became a soft sound of need. Again, he raked his mouth over hers, heedlessly chafing her with the stubble of his beard. Max did not need to see the elegant line of her jaw or the inviting swell of her bottom lip to know that he had to taste her more deeply. His body had thrummed with lust the moment he'd seized her hand and swept her across Walrafen's ballroom."

Stubbly beard! I'll take it! ☺

Finally, I awoke this morning to find the first posted review for Sweet Magik. According to Gaby at Oh My Books, "If you are looking for a heart warming romance for this Christmas, this one is for you!"

Happy Thursday! Wednesday is just a distant memory.

Hope everyone has a great day and avoids splattering vodka sauce all over themselves like a horror movie,
Penelope

P.S. Don't forget to stop by tomorrow for the party with the Klaus Brothers. We will be giving away a copy of Sweet Magik and a fun holiday necklace (surprisingly, from Etsy!....hee hee).

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Push It Real Good


For some inexplicable reason, I woke up this morning singing this song. If you want to feel bad-ass and like you can take over the world, listen to this song for a couple of minutes. It's a great way to start the day! Salt-N-Pepa, baby!

Work it, baby. Oh baby baby!

Still searching for my 1980s time machine. Don't you wish we could have a dance party with all the book bloggers, authors, and reviewers, with non-stop 1980s music and gigantic martini glasses?

Dreaming........







Push It Real Good,
Penelope

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

PennyNoWriMoFoSho



Here we go again....another writing challenge. Someone decided to make November the month to pack in a 50,000 word novel...NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). Which could be a cool concept, except for a few small details....

You know. That day with the turkey and cranberry sauce and stuffing and stuff?

Not only do Americans get to commemorate the Pilgrims and the Native Americans getting together and eating stuff, but the American school system has decided that this holiest of holidays warrants its own "Break".....as in, Thanksgiving Break. As in....the kids are home. Screaming. Yelling. Using the computer. Begging for candy. Inviting over their friends.

As in.....there is no way in holy hell I am getting a 50,000 word novel written this month. Add on Veteran's Day holiday, and a professional day off from school, and you're left with lots of screaming children at home.

Now, I'm sure that there are writers who are able to block out the shrieking and write something worthy of publication. I can't even write a grocery list with Nickelodeon blaring in the background, Britney blaring on itunes, boys screaming in the basement as they kill virtual zombies, and my daughter and her friends having a dance party in the living room.

Then again, I'm not sure what month would be optimal for this challenge. March actually looks pretty good. It's a boring month, and the kids are forced to go to school.

I have decided that this is the month that I am going to rekindle my writing, but my challenge is much mo easier than NaNoWriMo. More like PenNoWriSoMo, instead....PenWriSlowMo. How about that one? How about.....20,000 words? That might be a good goal? How about....have some fun? I like it!

Well, I know fosho that November will include lots of turkey dishes, family squabbles, my daughter's adoption day celebration, and probably some writing.

This I KnoFoSho.

Happy Writing, Everyone!

SoShoI'mKo,
Pen