Sometimes I think my life might be an episode of the Twilight Zone. Here are some insane things I've seen in the last couple of weeks....
1.) Heading on an author's website...."If You Like "So-N-So" Author, Then You'll Love Me!" That's right. Her whole branding concept was copying someone else. Are you kidding me?
2.) Author photo at Goodreads.....totally, completely, unequivocally buck naked. Uh huh. Someone used a nude photo as her "head shot." Sigh. Even if you write erotica, you don't need to be a porn star. That's taking branding just a bit too far. Just saying.
3.) An author who has a paypal button on her website for "donations to a struggling writer." Just in case you want to donate money to a stranger for no good reason except she is a writer who, evidently, doesn't think she's making enough money. Now excuse me while I go stand outside on the street corner with my tin cup.
4.) Note to authors: Promo is YOUR responsibility, not mine. Quit asking me to "like" you on Facebook, rate you on Amazon, etc. If someone leaves a review or rating or whatever, that's great. But asking your readers to do stuff for you in order to promote your books is totally uncool. Not their responsibility. YOUR responsibility.
5.) This is so gross, I can barely type it. Uh...uh....I saw an author bio at Amazon where the woman discusses....uh....uh....masturbating....while she writes. *falls over in a faint*
6.) *revives self with enormous cup of coffee* I'm back! My new favorite observation at twitter: Folks promoting their Christmas books with the #BDSM hashtag. Coz nothing says "sacred religious holiday" like some spanky time. (I'm waiting for the #Ho tag).
7.) Sweet Magik is currently #1 on the fairy tale romance bestseller list at Bookstrand. The overall bestseller list is all erotica. And not just erotica. Erotica with MMMFMMMMMM and MMFFFFFMMMMFFFFMMMM and....oh nevermind...you get the idea. I guess the new attitude in erotica is....The More, The Merrier! The titles have words like "hogtying," "overexposed," "master," "bikers," and "raw." I think the only way my little Christmas book has any chance of getting on their bestseller list is if I change the title to "Hogtying An Elf." Which isn't going to happen any time soon.
8.) And to cleanse your palate of all these unsavory bits, here is an adorable photo of a weenie dog pup...
Feel better? I sure do!