Monday, March 21, 2011

"V" is for Vicious

No one warned me about JD Robb fans. Geez, I make one teensy, weensy little criticism of Mr. Roarke Suave (you know, the whole metrosexual pansy-ass thing), and next thing you know, I'm being accosted in a family restaurant by a rabid fan who takes great umbrage at my review. Great, great umbrage. She scared me. In fact, I am rescinding my review.

Naked In Death by JD Robb. Grade: C-/D+ 
New grade: B
OK, just kidding, it's really B+
A!!!! A++++

I have totally changed my tune about Roarke. Lub him, and the whole button thing. Right on board with that. And the wine, and the coffee. He's manly. I want a "I Love Roarke" button for my blog.

(shifts eyes nervously.....)

"V" is for vicious. And vitriol. And vengeance.

Singing a brand new tune about Roarke, my new fictional boyfriend,
(Hiding under the dining room table)
Penelope

16 comments:

SusiSunshine said...

You have my sympathy. I hid like this when I didn't like the first Fever book by KMM too. Fans can be scary as hell.

KB/KT Grant said...

Ahem. You can't have Roarke because I claimed him a long time ago. And wait until you see his massive electronic equipment. Love I tell you!

A Buckeye Girl Reads said...

It's amazing how attached to book characters we become. I made the mistake of saying that I didn't care for Bones all that much. Still don't, but now I know to prepare for the whiplash. :)

Victoria Morgan said...

Ha ha! I approve of your new review, but might have to take issue with 'rabid fan' -- but I'll concede to obsessive, over-protective and defensive :) I might warn you -- don't even think of going after Diana Gabaldon's Jamie Fraser. His fans are fanatical and numerous. It could get nasty.

Penelope said...

Vicki, I am not touching Outlander with a 10 foot pole. And if I do, I'm not telling you about it. :^)

Jennifer B. said...

Best laugh I've had all day! Thank you. :-)

Lori said...

LOL!! Too funy. I have to admit, I loved your metrosexual pansy-ass comment (even tho I didn't agree w/it). It was the best laugh I'd had in forever.

Julia Rachel Barrett said...

You have had an interesting few days. See what happens when I'm not around to act as your chaperone?

Outlander - say whatever you like about Claire, but don't touch my Jamie!

steph from fangs, wands and fairy dust said...

You need a secret identity!

Ridley said...

Funny, I dislike Roarke as well (total Gary Stu) and wrote a review critical of Outlander (too long, unfocused) and no one's ever said boo to me over either.

Send your trolls to me! I want to play!

Fiction Vixen said...

Oh that's cruel Penny. I saw V is for Viscous in my Google reader and my brain changed it to V is for Vishous and I was over here like lubed lightning!! Not that JD Robb and her Roake aren't nice and all, but where is Vishous? huh? He were a goatee you know. lol Oh and I'll warn you now. Major Jamie Fraser fan here. *glares* :)

Penelope said...

Ridley....that's because you scare the sh*t out of everyone. :^) Don't worry, I'll send you my trolls and you can take them out.

FV....sorry bout the confusion. I love Vishous and his furry goatee. And his ghostly lady love. And, I'm not interested in reading Outlander. I already know some of the stuff that happens in that book and it doesn't sound like my cuppa.

Penelope said...

I like the secret identity idea. I'm going with "Penelope Patricia Paddlepuss".....I am going to put it on my ID at nationals. That way, if I see Stephanie Laurens, Nora Roberts, Julia Quinn, JR Ward, or any other author I have dinged (Jay-sus, there are a lot *sweating profusely*) I'll be incognito. With dark glasses and pearls (like JR Ward).

Ridley said...

"Ridley....that's because you scare the sh*t out of everyone."

You wound me, Penny. I'm as harmless as a pussycat, I assure you.

heidenkind said...

So I take it you didn't respond with, "If Roarke isn't a metrosexual pansy-ass, why does he need you to stand up for him?" ;)

Penelope said...

Ha haaaa...good point, heidenkind. He could always klunk me over the head with a good bottle of wine.