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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Update for Amazon Romance Community Members

In response to an inordinately high number of consumer suggestions, Amazon is implementing the following changes to our Romance Community Message Boards, effectively immediately.....

1.) We have added a "wackadoodle" button to the posts. Any member who accumulates in excess of 50 "wackadoodle" votes will have mental health self-help books added to his/her book suggestion list.

2.) We are abolishing censorship with regards to cuss words... as long as * buttons are included in said words. For example, c*ck-s*ck*r would be appropriate. However, if the stars are omitted, the word will be blacked out on the screen.

3.) Similar to Goodreads, pop-up boxes will now appear before posting. After checking "author" or "reader" the following terms of agreement will appear. Please check the box next to I Agree, or No Freakin' Way before continuing to the message boards.

(A) For "authors".... "I do solemnly swear not to pimp my books, regardless of origin of publication (independent digital format, traditional publishing house, or skanky erotica e-publisher)."

A scarlet "A" will appear next to your screen name to identify you as an author. These terms may also appear underneath the screen name... Indie, Trad, Skank.

(B) For "readers"..... "I do solemnly swear not to confuse the words 'heroin' or 'heroine' in my posts."
A scarlet "R" will appear next to your screen name to identify you as a reader. Any reader who abuses the English language excessively (misspelled words, incorrect grammar, lack of subject/verb agreement) will have the term "Illit" for "illiterate" appear beneath your screen name.

After agreeing to these terms, you will be permitted to post on any thread within the community. Rude, obnoxious behavior, name-calling, mud-slinging, and general pandemonium are still permitted.

4.) Due to overwhelming confusion as to terms and emoticons, an index will now be available to help clarify these words. Ex: Shill, troll, DIK, :^O, etc.

5.) Amazon will not permit members to change their screen names to BDB-inspired monikers. (See "Black Dagger Brotherhood" in the aforementioned index). For example, Linda to Lhinda, Jenny to Jhenny, etc. We are unable to accommodate the high volume of requests for these changes at this time.

The Powers That Be At Amazon


KatieO said...

LOL, Penny! You should work for Amazon, writing their forms. Yours are much more enjoyable - and real!

Penelope said...

Hi Katie....I sometimes wonder if the folks who work for Amazon read the message boards and say stuff like "Whoa. That guy is a serious wackadoodle."

D.L. said...


yaquelin said...

haaa!!! too funny!!

Julia Rachel Barrett said...

I vote for number 5.
I also think people who write long, rambling, nonsensical posts should 51-50'd ASAP.
I've pretty much given up reading the boards - been a long time since I found a thread that didn't degenerate into borderline insane.

Penelope said...

Hi Julia! They are insane, true dat. But....I have gotten a lot of fabulous book recommendations from folks over there, so I am willing to put up with the craziness. If only they really had a wackadoodle button.....

Julia Rachel Barrett said...

Penny - I actually love just plain old reading the reviews - and Amazon could use a wackadoodle button for some reviewers as well! You get some crazy shit posted!

Penelope said...

Yes, Julia, that is one of the reasons that I don't post too many of my reviews at Amazon. (Also, I include too many cuss words...hee hee). But seriously, who wants their review to be reviewed? Not moi!

Fiction Vixen said...

I am soooo incorporating the wacksadoodle button into ever single aspect of my life! Genius.

Penelope said...

Hey FV....good idea! It would be nice to have a portable wackadoodle button to carry with you everywhere...you could use it at the check-out lane at Toys R Us, Starbucks, at your kid's soccer game when some of the parents are losing it, etc. It would really come in handy! :^)

Damon Suede said...


I nominate YOU to take over editorial at the Big Book Bayou. That post made me piss my pantalones.

Bring on the Wackadoodle! I think yoiu should have Wackadoodle BUTTONS made up from RWA.

There's somethign so hilarious about Amazon aintaining "standards" and this slick corporate interface so shut-ins and tweens can screech M@THAF#KKA at each other about the same 25 books.