Tuesday, October 6, 2009

If I were being chased by a posse of wild Indians....




Okay, I just started Surrender by Pamela Clare. This book keeps popping up all the time on people's recommendations as being the most awesome book, blah, blah, blah. Seriously, folks, I am not feeling it (I'm on page 80-something). Call me crazy, but if I were being chased by a posse of wild Indians intent on scalping my sorry ass, the last thing I would be concerned about is my hard c**k and how badly I wanted to do my damsel in distress, whose poor body is battered because she was just about gang-raped by a posse of wild Indians. Seriously, do you not think that the threat of maiming, torture and a slow, painful death is enough to squash any and all libidinous impulses out of the most testosterone-laden hero?

I am finding the book ludicrous at this point.  But, I guess I'll keep reading to find out what happens. Sheesh! Maybe early colonial American romance is not my genre. Too much conflict (all the wars with practically every freaking European nation, the marauding Indians, plagues of locusts, etc etc). Not sure how those colonists managed to squeeze in their romance, but I guess it did happen. In the meantime, I just finished Sc0undrel in Disguise by Annette Blair, which was an adorable, fun and well-written historical (with just the appropriate amount of conflict for moi!), and also a quickie re-read of All About Passion by Stephanie Laurens, which is one of my favorite Cynster novels. I totally love Gyles and Francesca, and I guess I can deal better with a psychotic, mentally-unstable cousin hellbent on revenge than the impending threat of scalping.

Finally, I hope you enjoyed the fantabulous photo of Kevin from Top Chef (my favorite TV show) next to Yukon Cornelius, obviously his long-lost twin. I also joined a facebook group called Fans of Kevin Gillespie's Beard. As you know, I really, really, REALLY like beards, and getting to watch Kevin every Wednesday night is a treat. (The fact that he is also an incredible chef and will most likely win the whole competition is just the icing on the cake, baby!). As I am writing Sweet Magik, the second book of the Klaus Brothers Series, I am imagining Kevin's face superimposed on my main elf character's head. Hee heeee heee....
Penelope


15 comments:

Patti said...

Your post made me laugh - I needed this; thanks!

Susan said...

Ha! I had nearly the same WTF reaction to this book. I enjoy (and highly recommend) Pamela Clare's contemporary stories so when I heard the raves about Surrender I was excited to try it. Yikes! The relentless Scottish accent spellings, the unbelievable predicaments, the evil British military - it turned into a farce rather than a great historical escapist read.

Penelope said...

Hi Patti! Glad I perked up your day!

Penelope said...

Susan...I am enjoying the book a bit more right now. I am about halfway done--but I agree the Scottish brogue is over the top, the evil villain is over the top, the non-stop life-threatening conflicts are over the top. This is one over-the-top experience. I sure hope the consummation scene makes it all worth it! ;)

Juju from Tales of Whimsy said...

Oooo that doesn't sound like my cup of tea either.

Penelope said...

Hi Juju! The book is getting better, but the horrible life-threatening problems are still coming at me fast and furious. I think I need another prilosec.

Julie at Outlandish Dreaming said...

Well, I loved Surrender! But, then I love Scottish accents and the colonial times because it's all so reminiscent of the Outlander series and Last of the Mohicans - to each his own! Sorry, you're not loving it, I was bowled over by it, but was not as crazy about the sequel about one of his brothers.

Penelope said...

Hi Julie! I am almost done with the book, and I am liking it a lot better, although it's still not my favorite. I LOVE Scottish romances, especially Julie Garwood's, Karen Marie Moning's, and the Scottish werewolves in Kresley Coles' IAD series. I also loved Last of the Mohicans, too. I hesitate to admit this, but I have not yet read the Outlander series (are you gasping in disbelief)? My friend Vicki has been harassing me to read it, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

Pamela Clare really likes exclamation points! Oh Iain! Oh Annie! Oh oh oh!!!!! Hee hee hee....The love scenes are certainly well-punctuated!!!

Anonymous said...

LOL! Penny, your review of Surrender was really funny . . . but sorry dear, looks like you are the odd person out on this one! But hey, we've all spent our time on the "I just don't get it" list on one book or another that everybody else loves [*cough-Flowers From the Storm-cough*] 'scuze me, I had a flower . . er . . frog in my throat there! ;D Surrender is one of my all time favorite books. Your review definitely cracked me up though! As for heros that have way over the top sex drives coming to the forefront while under life threatening conditions . . . it's really not that far-fetched. It's actually common place for a guy to get a er . . . full salute on when in dangerous situations. . . . and if you're not buying that . . . need I remind you, that you are big fan of the BDB amongt other completely unbelieveable PNRs?! If you can get by that, it just means you are forgetting you're still reading fiction. ;) Now put that pesky "disbelief" away on the next one! ;D
K.

Penelope said...

Hi K! Okay, you just totally made me go look up Flowers From The Storm on Amazon...they said it's "one of the best books in the genre"!!!! So, what's the scoop? You weren't digging it? I've never even heard of that one.

I guess I have an easier time with the willing suspension of disbelief when it comes to paranormal stuff. The historical stuff I expect to be somewhat more believable. A couple of other readers have admitted this was not their favorite book either...I think we are all embarrassed to admit it! But I am going to try out Pamela Clare's contemporaries before I give up on her. I heard they are really good. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! :)

Leontine said...

Hi penelope,
Your cut-to-the-chase description made me snort in my morning chocolate milk LOL It's quite the picture you sketch :D I have read Pamela Clare in both Contemp. Suspense and Historical genre and yeah, I enjoyed SURRENDER.

I just hope your next experience with Clare will be more to your liking!

Penelope said...

Hi Leotine! Okay, Team Surrender is officially kicking my butt. I don't have too many folks on my team, but we will....never SURRENDER!!!! hee heee hee...okay, now I'm getting as melodramatic as Pamela Clare in one of her love scenes...Oh Iain!!!!! Oh Annie!!!! Oh! Oh! Oh! (Seriously, go back to the book and check that out. It's exclamation point city. How can anyone take that seriously???)

Anonymous said...

Penny: You've apparently been "sheltered" from the Laura Kinsale leagues of fans?!? How can that be possible? She is frequently waxed poetic over by many "highbrow" romance readers for her writing style. (Don't anyone hurt me -- I'm just teasing!;) I call "Flowers From the Storm" my "prison" read! LOL! It's a super loooonnnggg drawn out angsty book, and I felt like I was "in prison" until I slogged my way through it! Basically, it was one long fight-fest between a "hero" (and I use that term loosely after his lack of moral turpitude as quickly as the Prologue) who suffers a life-changing disability from a stroke in his mis-30s; and a staunch, Quaker brought-up heroine who "assists" him through his transition (while brow-beating him for his lifestyle the entire book: "I hate you, I hate your lifestyle, I hate your principles -- Now "do" me! LMAO!) Ya -- not my fav. book (as is pretty well known by long-time Ami posters).

My prediction is . . . Murphy's Law says we will be exact opposites! You'll no doubt find FFTS "poignant and heartwrenching." It's okay -I can take it - I've been beseiged by the fan-base forever on how "wrong" my taste is on this one, so I can definitely empathize with your "Surrender"-outsider feelings. ;)
K.

P.S. It has occurred to me that I may be so "Surrender"-friendly, as I'm a long-time abuser of exclamation points myself. I relate! !! ! ;D

Penelope said...

K--I read the synopsis for Flowers From The Storm and it does not look in the slightest bit appealing to me. Not sure if I can force myself to read it. Even with all of the "accolades" from enthusiastic Amazon readers.

I, too, am a lover of exclamation points! (and adverbs, adjectives and passive tense, which I have been told are all big no-no's in my writing). Oh well, I guess all important grammar rules are made to be broken!!!!!

Leontine said...

Oh!!! Penelope!!! (sorry bad joke)...My gray mass here doesn't want to co-operate and spill out the memory of the writing style but if it would've annoyed me the way it did you I would've remembered it.

Will check out your thought on Laurens, perhaps she gave you a better read :)